Ask for a funny sketch or cross talk about obesity or height. Very need

Little husband: 35 years old, about 1.65 meters tall, thin.

Bitch wife: 32 years old, height 1.68 meters, obese.

Adu: My husband's friend.

Ali: escort girl

1, the little husband's house is downstairs (during the day, outside)

It's raining cats and dogs and lightning is frequent.

The camera rolled down, and the little husband stood in the rain in a panic, soaked to the skin. He looked up at the closed window on the third floor.

Shout: "wife, you often let me take a bath like this." I can't take it anymore. Let me go up! " "

There is no movement in the window.

The little husband shouted again, "Why don't I go to the alley to hide from the rain for a while?" Just for a second, okay? "

Still nothing happened.

The little husband wiped the rain on his face and murmured, "Didn't you just wash two bowls?" As for ... "

A bright flash of lightning followed by a loud noise.

The little husband looked at the sky in fear, and then trembled and shouted, "Wife, I didn't do it for myself, I did it for you."

If something happens to me, who will wash your clothes and dishes in the future? "

A window on the second floor opened, and a man leaned out and shouted to his little husband, "Dude, I just moved here 10 days.

I've only seen you like this eight times. Are you tired? "

The little husband looked at the speaker, but before he could speak, the shrew opened the window and shouted at the bottom, "Who? Who is screaming?

"

The protruding head on the second floor shrank back immediately.

The little husband looked at the fierce wife piteously: "Wife, let's end the shower today ..."

The fierce wife looked at the little husband, then tilted her head: "Come on up."

The little husband bowed to the window and said, "Thank you, wife ..."

2, the little husband's kitchen (day, day)

The shrew crossed her hands and leaned against the kitchen door frame.

The camera rotates with the shrew's line of sight, and the little husband has changed his clothes and combed his hair, meticulous.

Wash dishes happily.

Husband: "Wife, do you know who is the happiest person in the world?"

The shrew is expressionless: "I don't know."

The little husband was full of joy: "I don't know?" I married a virtuous and considerate wife like you,

Of course it's me. "

3. In the teahouse (day, day)

In a clear water, water plants are swaying, a few fish are swimming happily, and glittering and translucent blisters come and go.

Rise upward.

Zooming in is a fish tank.

Next to the fish tank, the little husband and Adu are sitting on opposite sides of a table drinking tea.

Husband: "I am a poor person, I can't stand it!" " "

Adu: "I knew you couldn't stand it."

Husband: "You have to give me an idea!" " "

Adu: "I have been giving you advice for a long time."

The little husband said angrily, "if you have an idea, don't say it earlier!" "

Adu: "Say it now."

Husband: "You're damn right."

Adu: "Divorce her!"

Husband: "pig-do you still want such a low-level idea?" I had this idea the day after I got married with her.

Yes, dare I? "

Adu: "Go to the gym at once, and give her a good lesson after that!" " "

The little husband began to imagine himself hitting his wife. ...

4. On the open lawn (outside, outside)

The little husband is dressed in a white bunt, and the fierce wife is dressed in a red bunt, each posing an opposite step.

The little husband's face was cold, and suddenly he withdrew his hands and feet in front of him at the same time. Luckily, he stamped his right foot with a jerk.

So the whole ground shook violently, and then the palms shook, and at the same time the sides of the body hit hard, so both sides were very powerful.

The wind is blowing, flying sand and stones.

The little husband took back his palms, one on his waist and the other on his wife.

The shrew screamed and was shocked by the palm wind without a trace.

The little husband shouted at the sky: "Ha ha ha ha ..."

5. In the teahouse (one day, one day)

The little husband smiled: "Hahahaha ..."

Adu waved in front of her little husband: "Are you all right?"

The little husband recovered from his imagination and said, "Oh-that's a good idea, but let me practice it."

At this level, my son may be old enough to be the president of the United Nations ... "

Adu: "Well ... why not choose a windy night to trick her out of the house and then lock her out and freeze?"

Kiss with your mouth and answer blows with blows! "Adu bobbing, very proud of his ideas.

The little husband began to imagine his wife being pushed out of the door, feeling cold all over. ...

6, the little husband's house downstairs (at night, outside)

The wind screamed bitterly.

The fierce wife stood downstairs, shivering in the strong wind. The little husband poked his head out of the window and looked at himself piteously.

His shrew, smiling smugly.

7. In the teahouse (one day, one day)

Little husband is sneering.

Adu poked his little husband with his finger. The little husband woke up from his imagination, blinked and said, "Well, that's the same idea."

Good, but after she comes in ... should I hang myself? "

Adu: "That's right."

Husband: "What have you thought about? Are not practical ... "

Adu: "Well, it seems that there is nothing we can't do ..."

The little husband leaned his head over.

Adu: "To put it simply, find an escort girl to pretend to fall in love with you and let your wife eat some vinegar first, but."

In the future, you will find a chance to tell her that if she continues to do this to you, sooner or later you will embark on this road! Sure, like this.

You may have to be beaten by her first, but as long as it works, I think it's worth it! "

The little husband frowned, pondered for a while, and suddenly shouted, "Gao!" I can't bear to be separated from my wife.

The body can't control women! Do it! "

People in the teahouse watched together.

8. Inside the park (outside).

In the park, the grass is green, the birds are singing and the flowers are fragrant, and a branch sticks into the camera, swaying with the wind.

The camera rolled down, and the little husband and his maid Ali sat on the stone bench.

Ali: "Brother, what's your name?"

The little husband was very upset: "Li Ka-shing."

Ali was surprised: "Oh, it was Li Ka-shing Cheng Ge. Being with you is really a virtue of my ancestors. "

Husband: "Not rich Li Ka-shing, but rich Li Ka-shing, rich Li Ka-shing and successful Jia."

All right. "

Ali: "It's all Li Ka-shing anyway, almost." Said, and touched the little husband's slightly wrinkled pants, surprised.

"Oh, brother cheng, your pants are great. You can tell at a glance that it is not a staple food. It must be imported, right

Cadillac, right? Or Santana ... "

Husband: "No, it's Lewinsky."

9. Little husband's home (day, day)

The telephone rang.

The shrew ran over and picked up the receiver: "Hello?"

10, on the street (during the day, outside)

Adu pinched his nose and made a phone call: "I'll tell you something. Your husband is dating someone in the park. "

Just then, a motorcycle roared past him, and Adu was shocked and scolded: "Shit."

1 1, little husband's house (day, day)

Shrew: "Who are you? Why curse people? "

12, on the street (during the day, outside)

Adu: "I didn't scold you. Never mind who I am. Go to Xuanwu Lake Park. " Then hung up the phone, a.

Sneaking around.

13, inside the park (outside the park)

Ali touched the little husband's leg coily, and the little husband subconsciously leaned against it.

Ali: "hey, brother cheng, I can't see that I'm still a fish ... today is really your luck." I just talked to you yesterday.

The day before yesterday, Aaron Kwok was with Stephen Chow, and most people didn't have a chance to ask me out ... "

The little husband wiped his sweat: "Can you see that Clinton asked you out?"

Ali: "Wow, you know Clinton, too? What a learned man-it was him, the boy, the day before yesterday.

Not very authentic. I gave 50 yuan a night, but it is also human nature. I became famous all the way.

From my hometown of Shanxi ... "

14, roadside (daytime, outdoor)

The shrew stood angrily.

A young man passed by on a bicycle and shouted at his shrew.

The fierce woman turned to scold: "flirt with your mother, haven't you seen a beautiful woman?"

A taxi came and the fierce woman waved: "Texair!" " "

15, in the park (outside the park)

Husband: "OK, OK, I get it. Don't keep nagging me about it. You know what you are here for today. "

Right? "

Ali: "Yes, be your wild wife ..."

Husband: "Not a wild wife, but an extramarital lover!" " "

16, entrance of Xuanwu Lake Park (outside)

The shrew got out of the taxi and asked, "How much is it?"

Driver: "Nine dollars and ninety cents."

The shrew took out ten dollars and handed it over: "Keep the change."

The shrew turned her head and was about to enter the garden when suddenly a mass of water suddenly surged up. The shrew wiped the water on her face and hated it.

Look ahead.

The camera turned to the shrew's line of sight, and a child put away the water gun and ran away in the blink of an eye.

The shrew scolded, "Let me catch you, I'll skin you!" " Then he looked at the park and said, "Let me find it." "

It's your turn to skin you! "

17, Xuanwu Lake Park (outside)

Ali scratched the little husband's leg again and asked, "Then should we get into the state?"

Little husband: "Yes."

A bird suddenly flew past Ali's ear. Ali screamed and jumped on her husband.

The little husband was surprised and quickly grabbed Ali and prepared to push her away. But suddenly, he stopped, and then he became beautiful.

Get your hands off me.

Ali suddenly fell to the ground and shouted, "What the fuck are you doing?" ? Treat your extramarital affairs like this? "

Regardless of Ali, the little husband stood up, turned his head and said timidly, "Wife ..."

Ellie looked at her little husband and then turned around.

As the camera turns with Ali's line of sight, I see the fierce wife spreading her feet and her hands akimbo, looking at them viciously.

Ali shivered: "Who are you?"

The fierce wife has a loud voice: "I am his wife!" " "A little husband said.

Ali got up quickly: "Ah, ha, sister, it's all our own ... your husband's money ... I don't want it ..."

No ... "Say that finish and turn and run.

The shrew grabbed Ali and fell to the ground.

The fierce wife kicked at the camera.

There are screams outside the painting.

18, husband's family (day, day)

The little husband leaned on the living room wall with his hands upside down, sweating profusely. The shrew was holding a belt in his hand and asked fiercely, "Do you know?"

Is there something wrong? "

Little husband: "I know I was wrong."

Shrew: "What's the matter?"

Husband: "I shouldn't tell you about women."

The fierce wife glared: "What?"

Husband: "Oh no, I should have an appointment with a woman and not tell you."

The shrew lifted the belt and patted the little husband on the leg.

The little husband suddenly began to cry: "I was wrong. Where was I wrong?" Look at you. What have you done to your husband? Go away.

It hurts to beat and scold at every turn, and it hurts to have a dog ... "

The fierce wife glanced at the little husband quietly, suddenly threw the belt aside, picked him up and touched his head: "

Oh, don't cry, don't cry ...

The little husband lay in his wife's arms, slapped his wife with his hand and cried even harder.

Shrew: "be good, don't cry, don't cry ... I didn't care about your feelings before, you were wronged ... I'll be fine in the future."

Good for you. "

The little husband suddenly broke free: "Really?"

The shrew nodded: "Really."

19, (a set of shots from the little husband's house)

In the bedroom (in the morning, inside)

The little husband was lying in bed, drooling at the corner of his mouth and falling asleep with a smile on his face.

The fierce wife opened the door and put her head in: "Husband, get up early and eat!" " "

The little husband sat up lazily, and the shrew in apron hurried over to help the little husband dress.

In the kitchen (one day, one day)

The shrew hummed a ditty and washed the dishes happily.

In the living room (one day, one day)

The little husband reads the newspaper with his legs crossed.

In the bathroom (day after day)

bold

My wife twisted her ass and watched the washing machine wash clothes happily.

20. Living room (day, day)

There is a beautiful woman dancing on TV.

On the sofa in front of the TV, the little husband is watching TV, and the fierce wife kneels on one side to massage the little husband's neck.

The little husband is a little sad and scratches his hair from time to time.

Shrew: "Husband, you are always unhappy these days. Am I doing badly? "

The little husband hesitated for a while, and finally said, "Wife, I seem to be very unaccustomed to your sudden kindness to me."

No ... you still treat me like before ... "

The shrew smiled gently: "Really?"

Husband: "Really."

The shrew still smiled gently: "Really?"

Husband: "Really."

The shrew still smiled gently: "That's good." He opened the door, took the little husband to the door, and then suddenly

His face changed greatly, he kicked his little husband out of the door and shouted, "Then go to hell!" " "

2 1, the little husband's house is downstairs (during the day, outside)

It's raining cats and dogs and lightning is frequent.

The little husband stood nervously in the rain and was soaked to the skin. He looked up at the closed window on the third floor, pathetic.