Tell a joke to your girlfriend before going to bed.

Tell jokes to your girlfriend before going to bed.

I have collected and arranged short stories telling jokes to my girlfriend before going to bed. I hope you like them. For more jokes, please pay attention to cold jokes, hilarious jokes, humorous jokes and 100,000 cold jokes!

1, a middle-aged man on the bus, did not have the quality to take off his shoes. An aunt standing next to her told him to put on his shoes. The man not only didn't wear shoes, but also scolded his aunt. . .

Aunt kept silent when everyone accused the man, and the man scolded his accuser again. . .

At this time, the bus stopped, and just as the door opened, the aunt picked up the man's shoes at the speed of light and quickly rushed out of the door. . .

Looking at the distant aunt's figure, I really think this aunt is too awesome! ! !

2. I sent a courier one day, and the recipient said that he was not at home and asked to deliver it tomorrow, so I wrote a sentence on the courier list: tomorrow.

Then take this express every day, oh, it will be delivered tomorrow!

Later, I was scolded badly. . .

In the cell, the cellmate asked a newcomer what he had done.

He said: That night, I finally pried open the door and entered the master's bedroom. I was just groping for the master's bag and mobile phone in the dark, when suddenly a thunderbolt woke the master. . . He found me by lightning and caught me.

Alas! If it hadn't thundered, I wouldn't have been caught It should be a natural disaster. . .

A friend who is a doctor told me a story. When I was at school, I was divided into two factions. If the animal doing the experiment is a dog, those who finish the experiment will not care whether the dog lives or dies.

The other school is trying to save the dog after the experiment, and then save the dog. Those schools have become great doctors, and he is the main representative of this school.

? What about those who don't care about the life and death of experimental animals? I asked.

They are now the leaders of the hospital, and the friend replied helplessly.

5. The cat is climbing the tree, and an old man is watching quietly, muttering with envy. It's good to be young. If you can climb trees, you won't be bullied. ?

I asked the old man: Did you climb trees when you were a child?

The old man nodded. ? When I was young, my wife found me hiding my private money. Me? I went up the tree with a whoosh, and she couldn't help me. I can't climb up now, so I can only be beaten passively. It's good to be young. ?

6. It's nice to have a fat girl as a female ticket. I feel like I'm touching my chest everywhere.

7. As a doll seller, in order to ensure the quality, you have to try it every time you have an order, so that you can safely deliver it. Now the business is getting better and better, but the health is getting worse every day. . .

8. Found a beautiful woman crying on the side of the road. I went to inquire about the situation with great interest. It turned out that she was beaten by her boyfriend. I comforted her a few words, and then she began to complain to me. The more I listen, the angrier I get. There are such people who are worse than animals in the world!

I pulled the beauty and said loudly: Go, I'll help you, green him! ?

9. Tell a friend that I really want to have a cat, but I have no time, patience and energy to take care of it. Can I send it to him and pay for it? When I am in a bad mood, I will go to Doby to buy it.

The friend said sternly: You don't have a cat, you call it a prostitute! ?

10, I went for an intravenous drip yesterday. The beautiful nurse touched my hand and said, hey. . . Your blood vessels are so thin!

My brain twitched and said, nothing. If you touch it for a while, it will thicken when you touch it. . .

Beauty nurse. . . My face turned red. . .

1 1, a puzzle for many years: why is Microsoft's search hard?

12, m: Are you free this Sunday?

Woman: Rogue, get out!

13, the highest realm of men:? A gun? Never leave? Target? ; The worst state of a man:? A gun? Never leave? Hands? !

14, A: Do you know why summer comes? Sunglasses? Will sales continue to rise?

B: It's sunny in summer, so you should keep out the sun.

A: No, shading is secondary, mainly to block every peeping eye.

15, on the bus, a male colleague next to him was asleep, and his mobile phone was vibrating. It is estimated that a mobile phone has been vibrating, and the vibration is very loud.

After a while, two sister papers in the front row, one of them whispered to the other: Listen, it seems to be a vibrator! ?

16, A: My girlfriend is a real headache. She loves to buy clothes so much that two big wardrobes at home are full.

So you're not satisfied? At least Lao Wang next door can't fit in!

17, it is a man's duty to go home in the middle of the night and take good care of his wife, so he grabbed clothes from the ground and put them on, and ran to the booth at the door. At the door, the security guard asked. Brother, why are you wearing our captain's clothes?

;