Humorous opening remarks.

A humorous opening speech and a good speech need to attract the attention of the audience, clarify the theme of the speech and stimulate the curiosity of the audience. The purpose of the opening remarks is to attract the attention of the audience. Let's take a look at the interesting opening remarks in the speech.

Humorous speech opening remarks 1 1, "friends, some people are really doing well and are very speculative! There is a poem "knowledgeable person" that tells us: the status is not high, but there is a spirit above the head; The official is not big, but the hand is long; Si is a unique skill, only I can gain a foothold; Hold thick legs above and use them for private use below; Bragging is luck, flattery does not touch the needle, you can open the back door and talk about friendship. Without the cells of justice, without the principles and norms, alcohol and tobacco can clear the way, and money can communicate with God. Confucius said,' What is there?' "

2。 Sorry, everyone, you have come to the wrong place, and today's speech has been cancelled; I don't think we need any speeches. What we need is sincere communication. Then, our sincere communication begins today.

3。 My last name is Hu, so what I said next is nonsense. Please don't take it seriously. My surname is Gu. Today is night, and there is a little moonlight in the sky. If you stay with me, you will become Hu, so what I said may be nonsense. Please don't mind!

Ladies and gentlemen, please let me shine on the stage. Please applaud those who like me very much. Don't applaud people who like me too much. Thank you for your cooperation. ...

This opening remark left a good impression of frankness and humor. Soon after, at the "Golden Microphone Night" literary evening, I saw him smiling and said to the audience, "I'm glad to see you again, but I'm sorry to see you again. ...

Have you ever envied Tao Yuanming's life? Yes, he retired to the countryside, tasted the light wine in the country and watched the cold chrysanthemums in the wind. How chic and comfortable he is! However, do you feel his inner helplessness? He also has the ambition to help the world, but he can't show it. In that dark age, he could not tolerate the majestic character of Wei and Jin Dynasties, so he chose to be born in endless helplessness. His helplessness, his anxiety, his pain, do you understand?

6. Yes, you haven't. You only care about smelling the cold chrysanthemum fragrance in front of Mr. Wu Liu's house. You only care about being intoxicated by the mountains and rivers of Nanshan, so you envy their lives and complain about their anxiety and fatigue. When will you learn to face up to the joy of life and smell the fragrance of gardenia beside the window lattice? ("Gardenia by the window lattice")

7. Clouds are part of the sky. The clouds in the morning are dyed bright pink, like the cheeks of a newborn baby, with a soft blood color. The evening clouds are covered with golden orange, like rust, shining with the glory of lonely years.

8. Will Su Shi's "Hanging a Tree without a Moon" make people think?

9. What is Li Qingzhao singing? I believe that she is not singing the "bitter" autumn, but feeling the spring, which is so beautiful and gorgeous; She is worried about summer, too strong and too decisive; She is in a painful winter, too cold, freezing to death.

10 "friends, some people are really doing well and are very speculative! There is a poem "knowledgeable person" that tells us that the status is not high, but the top of the head is spiritual.

Humorous speech opening remarks 2 humorous speech

Good evening. (Applause)

Thank you very much for such warm applause from friends in the Economic Development Zone! The lights are bright tonight, the wedding. On the eve of July 1 ST, I felt refreshed to participate in such a "three highs" speech contest with high organizational level, high competition specifications and high speech level.

God is excited. Tonight, when I walked into the speech contest, my eyes lit up, because I was deeply shocked and admired by seeing the bright smiles of my friends, especially after listening to your wonderful speeches, and feeling your sunny mentality, feeling your flesh and blood, affection and love, infinite loyalty to the party's cause and deep affection for the people.

I like such a song "We Workers Have Strength" very much. It sang the voice of the worker's eldest brother. It is magnificent, powerful and positive. But I prefer Chairman Mao's impromptu speech. He is a master of using language. He uses many metaphors in conversation, writing articles and making reports. As early as 192 1, Grandpa Mao first wrote the word "worker", then wrote the word "person" and told the poor workers.

If "people" and "work" are strongly combined, what words do you say? (The audience answered "Tian") Yes, this constitutes the word "Tian"-the working class can unite to conquer the sky. Therefore, today I am very happy to come to the Economic Development Zone to participate in the speech contest, because I came to a dynamic team, because I came to the indomitable new industrial workers, because the Economic Development Zone holds up half the sky of Xiangxiang's industrial economy and is the future and hope of Xiangxiang! (Applause)

To tell the truth before the game, I thought the speech in the Economic Development Zone was a worker's speech. When dealing with workers and working in places where workers are concentrated, they may speak workers' Mandarin, and they can't get rid of workers' stereotypes when they dress up. However, through your affectionate speeches, I learned that the Economic Development Zone has gone through a difficult course since it was formally established in August 2065438+2006, and now it has become a pearl of Xiangxiang's economic and social development.

Seeing the mental state and behavior of people in the Economic Development Zone, especially the wonderful performance in the speech contest, I think the Economic Development Zone is a place where hidden dragons and tigers are crouching. It's not that some units have talents but no speakers. To give a speech, we should invite experts from the society. Today's speakers are all people from the Economic Development Zone, all handsome men and beautiful women, and all ambassadors of Xiangxiang. This is a speech contest to show the strength and style of people in the Economic Development Zone! Valigude! (Applause)

Organizing this speech contest is a good example of the strength of the leading group in the Economic Development Zone. Because this speech contest not only played an educational role, but also played an incentive role and played a cohesive role. It is really commendable that the leaders of the Economic Development Zone can use the speech culture to promote the development of the cause of the Economic Development Zone. This speech activity, from planning, organization, development to success, showed the elegance and strength of the leaders of the Economic Development Zone.

Tonight, as a young woman, I am a semi-final judge together with the powerful leadership team in the Economic Development Zone. I am the leader of four handsome guys. It's kind of my pleasure. It's just a combination of men and women. I'm not tired from work! (Laughter) In particular, the Economic Development Zone organized such a speech for the first time. Although it is nearly eleven o'clock tonight and the weather is very hot, the whole game is still orderly, and no audience or players leave. This fully reflects the strong cohesion, centripetal force and execution of the team in the Economic Development Zone, Varygood! (Applause)

With the theme of "Welcome the 18th National Congress, Show New Features, Dedicate to the Economic Development Zone", everyone told the advanced deeds of individuals and outstanding party member around them, and the vanguard and exemplary role played by the Party branch in economic construction truly reflected the spiritual outlook of the construction and development of the Economic Development Zone.

In today's speech, speeches such as "heroic grace, sail of life", "Dedicating to the Economic Development Zone, being a good host" and "thinking about the people" made us feel the fiery hearts of the people in the Economic Development Zone and saw the fiery feelings of loving the party, patriotism and hometown. Although I want to hear, see and think.

By judging and thinking about the comments, it is impossible to absorb and digest the essence of these speeches in a short speech contest. However, I will take your manuscript back and read it, and learn about the work style of people in the Economic Development Zone who are bitter and bitter and would rather die than surrender, and learn about the dedication of everyone to risk their lives and serve everyone.

In recent years, a large number of talents have emerged in the Economic Development Zone, and a large number of talents, enterprises and projects have been openly selected in the society to enter the Economic Development Zone. This talent strategy is magnificent, and I believe that the Economic Development Zone will be prosperous and brilliant! Just now, everyone's speech gave me the impression that the views are clear, the theme is prominent, the materials are typical, the truth is combined, the appearance is generous, and Varygood! (Applause)

Whether a speech is wonderful or not depends largely on whether there is interaction and harmony between the stage and the stage. Today's speech is more about friendship, happiness and applause than a game. Especially today, the audience has a high quality, the scene is warm and shows the spirit. Although some players are nervous and stuck in the game, some people pause.

What is commendable is that the audience at the scene not only did not laugh, whistle or hiss, but applauded warmly, so as not to make the players nervous or let the scene cool down. The collective applause told me a message that the economic development zone is as generous and kind as a friend, with a generous and inclusive atmosphere, and this big family is harmonious, United and friendly. Even if you are nervous, stage fright and flustered, you can still see that the players should be brave and persistent. They didn't give up halfway.

In fact, who is not nervous on this occasion? Forgetting words is normal. Nervousness is also true colors. Say it, show it, there is no shame. Is the famous mouth pottery of Phoenix TV familiar to everyone? (The audience answered "Yes") When he was a child, he was shy, introverted and inarticulate.

In junior high school, the class teacher found that his voice was in good condition and recommended him to participate in the school speech contest. At first, Tao refused to live or die, but he was afraid that the class teacher would punish him, so he crustily skin of head and walked to the podium. As a result, on the stage, my legs trembled, my face was flushed, I was tongue-tied, and I peed my pants with fear, causing a burst of laughter.

So it's normal to be nervous. Even a famous mouth like Tao will be nervous, not to mention ordinary people. After ten years of grinding a sword, Wen Dutao became brave after knowing shame, studied hard and trained hard, and constantly improved his oral English, which eventually became a favorite mantra of the audience.

Humorous opening remarks of speeches 3. Humorous speeches

Dear leading comrades, hello!

First of all, I would like to thank the organization for giving me such an opportunity to compete for posts. Personally, I think this is not only a game, but also a test, study and exercise for myself. Below, I will report some ideas of my own competition for the director of the guidance office to the leading comrades.

For me, as a woman, I have lived for 35 years, so I am not young. In today's fierce competition, opportunities and challenges coexist. Today, I am on the podium with the purpose of testing, learning and improving. I want to thank this era for giving me another chance; I would also like to thank all of you present, who have given me great courage and confidence.

1988 I graduated from the former vocational high school majoring in preschool education, which can be said to be one of the first batch of preschool teachers trained by Kezuohouqi. In Xx, he was transferred to the flag kindergarten to work. Before, I taught in Ganqika No.4 Primary School. After work, I persisted in studying, and successively completed the advanced study of correspondence in China in Inner Normal University.

During the three years of working in Qiqi Kindergarten, I realized the responsibility and glory of this job, and also realized the hardships and difficulties, and I was more proud that I could grow and mature in this team.

As the saying goes, "One hundred years of life is based on early childhood education", and early childhood education has always been called "downward rooted education", which vividly describes the position of early childhood education in people's life development. Children are like green seedlings that need our care and watering. Therefore, I want to compete for the director of the academic affairs office today, one is to better exercise myself, and the other is to better serve the cause of preschool education.

I made this choice mainly based on the following two considerations. First of all, in the past three years, I have been the deputy director of the Academic Affairs Office and accumulated rich work experience. Secondly, I have a good sense of service, love the cause of preschool education, and am willing to make selfless contributions.

If I compete for this position today, I will work harder to do this job well and live up to your high expectations with excellent work performance.

First, put yourself in a correct position and be a good assistant. Respect the director's leadership over the work, not exceeding his authority and offside; Think positively and make suggestions; Unite all comrades in the park to do a good job in preschool education.

Second, strengthen study and improve quality. In the future, we must strengthen the study of all aspects of knowledge, learn from books and learn from colleagues around us.

Third, keep pace with the times and blaze new trails. Without innovation, a unit cannot move forward. I will make some innovations and gains in preschool education, and strive to make preschool education in our school embark on a scientific and standardized track.

Leaders and colleagues, it doesn't matter to me whether I win or lose this election. Most importantly, as our kindergarten teachers, we should be conscientious and enlighten every young soul with truth, goodness and beauty in our own posts. This is the most important thing! As a candidate, I believe that the future of ethnic kindergartens will be better! thank you