Classic love jokes hurt the stomach.

A beautiful woman got on the bus and everyone stared at her, including me, but the beautiful woman didn't look at anyone except me. Also told me: drive and watch the road. More jokes are in the joke network of fresh graduates.

Take off your makeup. They are all ghosts

A female colleague complained in the office: I am so beautiful that I am pestered by a group of men every day, and it is difficult for me to refuse others. What should I do? I silently spilled the water in the cup on her face. The female colleague suddenly realized: I see, you want me to be clear-headed and calm as water. Is it? I told her: beauty is not beautiful, no makeup is a ghost!

Ding-dong, ding-dong

When I first entered a company, I always heard my colleagues call a woman in her forties with a smile? Ding Dong? Ding Dong? I think it is very interesting. I called twice when I saw her today? Ding-dong, ding-dong, and it's the kind with a cheerful voice. She paused for a moment, then left with a smile. My colleagues next to me were dumbfounded and told me: this is the chairman of the company, surnamed Ding. ?

You can't be polite to the food.

You can't be polite about eating goods. That day, I said to a buddy: invite you to dinner that day. ? Dude was unhappy at that time:? One more day, when I heard these two words, I knew I couldn't eat this meal. ?

Pay attention to the road conditions when driving.

A beautiful woman got on the bus and everyone stared at her, including me, but the beautiful woman didn't look at anyone except me. Also told me: drive and watch the road.

Your son's job

The office goddess asked me: Why do you always stare at me when you have something to do? I said: romantic, look at what you are doing, I am looking at your son's work.

The field of eating goods

Pure food sickness only depends on Chinese medicine, because western medicine is gone in one bite, and Chinese medicine can drink two more.

Drive carefully and don't hit anyone.

Wandering outside the supermarket, I heard two uncles talking, and one said you:? Drive carefully, don't hit anyone! ?

Another uncle domineering answer:? You are not ignorant of my skills. Look, I'll show you drift! ? Uncle car, you've had enough. Is the shopping cart so fun?

Don't let her drive.

I drank a little wine last night and let my wife drive. On the way, the drunk driving traffic police stopped the car. As soon as his wife stepped on the gas pedal nervously, she rushed to Pol.ice. The road was not high, so he was honored. After Pol.ice climbed out of the flower bed, he played the musical instrument according to the process, and it was verified that there was no problem. Then ask me:? Why not drive? Me:? Drink? Pol.ice: How much do you drink? Me:? Two bottles of beer. ? Pol.ice: It doesn't matter, you drive, don't let her drive, it's too fucking scary. ?

Soldiers among drivers

In the car, the coach taught me that a qualified driver should not hit other cars, and an excellent driver should not be hit by others! Student: Being hit by someone else and hitting another car, what kind of driver is it? Coach: A fighter among drivers!

A witty shepherd

A colleague accidentally killed a sheep while driving. After negotiation, he compensated the farmer 1000 yuan and took the dead sheep away. Sheep breeder said: No, you killed my sheep and took it away. If you kill people, do you want to take them away?

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