Tell me a joke story!

1. The old couple went to take pictures, and the photographer asked, "Grandpa, do you want side light, backlight or full light?" My uncle said shyly, "I don't care." Can you leave a pair of underwear for your aunt? "

2. Wife's Quotation: You are allowed to get drunk and hook up with girls, but you must return to the team at night. If you dare to break my heart and my lungs, I will definitely cripple your third leg and let your bird sleep forever.

3. Two charming children got married. After seeing off the guests, the groom returned to the bedroom and found a meatball lying on the bed! The groom was frightened and asked where the bride was. Meatball said shyly, I hate it, you don't even know people when they take off their clothes!

4. Two old couples had a whim while eating one day: naked rice! Get back to your old feelings! After undressing, the old woman said, I still have a reaction! The nursing room is as hot as when I was young! The old man squinted and said, it's drooping in the soup!

5. Four mice brag: A: I eat rat poison as candy every day; B: it itches if you don't step on a mouse for a day; C: Don't go to the streets several times a day. D: it's getting late. Let's go home and hug the cat.

6. The sky is blue and the sea is deep, and nothing a person says is true; Love is eternal, blood is bright red, and it is impossible for a man not to fight; When a man has money, he is destined for everyone. If a person can rely on it, pigs can climb trees.

7. A group of ants climbed up the elephant's back, but they were knocked down. Only one ant sticks to the elephant's neck. The ant below shouted: strangle him, strangle him, demo, it's fucking backwards!

8. The child stole a parrot from a brothel. As soon as he entered the door, the parrot called, Move! Seeing his mother, he shouted: The boss has changed, too! Seeing his sister, he shouted, Miss has changed! Seeing his father, he shouted, I'm still an old customer!

9. Long road of life, who is better! Family to take care of, lovers to get along! There is a cook at home, a kind-hearted person outside, a nice table and a missing person in the distance! Keep two, keep one, develop three, four, five, six, seven!

10. A puppy climbed onto your dining table and crawled towards a roast chicken. You are furious and say, if you dare to do anything to that roast chicken, I will dare to do anything to you. As a result, the dog licked the chicken's ass and you fainted. The dog said happily, let's see who is tough.

1 1. Legend has it that tonight, ghosts wander, dead light reappears, and ghosts turn around! May the ghost hear my call, come to your head in the middle of the night, touch your face with pale face, green eyes and dry hands and say good night to you for me!

12. Men always smile? What is the promise? What does the emperor owe? Dry your hands in the sun? ∨? What happened? What is the promise? The emperor's arrogance has disappeared and he has failed to make a name for himself. ?

13. When you were walking on the road, a bitch jumped on you, bit off a piece of meat from your foot and swallowed it quickly. When you put out your foot to kick it, the dog said with tears: You fight, anyway, I already have your flesh and blood in my stomach!

14. Mice are particularly depressed without girlfriends. Finally, a bat agreed to marry him, and the mouse was very happy. Others laughed at his lack of foresight. Mouse: What do you know? She is at least a stewardess.

15. A friend asked the bat how he married a mouse. The bat's eyes are full of tears, which is meaningful: alas! That day, he ate Brother Wei, with strong firepower, and jumped on the ceiling to let him succeed.

16. I sent you this message for ten cents to tell you that I am not a penniless person. Like this hair.

17. The ant lay lazily in the soil and stretched out a leg. What is your friend asking you? Ant: Then the elephant came and tripped him.

18. The magpie is coming. Mom said it was a bird or a guest. The swallow came, and my mother said it was a good bird or a guest. The crow came, and the child asked, are you a guest? The crow cried, Yes, I am a hacker!

19. A beautiful woman found lipstick too heavy, wiped it with a wet tissue and threw it on the road. An old man picked it up, looked at it for a long time and suddenly woke up. He caught up and said, girl, this ultra-thin one is easy to fall off!

20. Cucumber was lovelorn and cried. Eggplant comforted her: Love is not only sweet, but also intoxicated, heartbroken and tearful. Alas! Who made you fall in love with onions?

2 1. eunuch's most annoying song: leaving roots; Eunuch's most annoying script: a plum scissors; Eunuch's most annoying advertising words: I have I can; Eunuch's most annoying idiom: unprecedented; Eunuch's favorite thing to do: laugh while reading text messages.

I remember that you and I were childhood friends. I like singing and you like dancing. If I can sing 200 songs, you can dance 200 dances. So everyone calls me Brother 200 when they see me and Dance 200 when they see you.

When you meet a dog on the road, don't panic. Fight bravely. There will only be three results: first, you win, you are more than a bird; Second, if you lose, you are even worse than birds and beasts; Third, you're tied up. You're an animal. !

24. "Why did you clip the thermometer to your ear?" The intern asked the old doctor. The old doctor said, "It's over! I must have stuck the pen in the patient's anus! "

25. A mountaineer who has never seen the world saw a man doing push-ups in a city park one day. He doesn't know what to do. He walked several times and didn't understand: why is there no one down there, just trying?

26. When drinking at a reunion of boys and girls, some female students drank milk instead. When toasting, the male classmate said to the female comrade who drank milk, shall we drink it instead? You drink our wine and we drink your milk.

27. A pupil confessed to his teacher who had a crush on him for a long time. The teacher said it was wrong, but he wouldn't listen. Finally, the teacher couldn't stand it anymore and said, "I don't want children!" " "The pupil said," Teacher, I will be very careful? "

28. You have been very bad recently, and you always want to earn extra money. You don't love your wife, and you look for your aunt every day. Although you are handsome, you are a remnant flower. Generous under the bed, helpless on the bed.

29. Boyfriend and girlfriend sleep in a room, and the woman draws a clear line and says, "It's birds and beasts that cross the border." Woke up and found that the man really didn't cross the line. The woman slapped the man hard: "You are worse than birds and beasts."