qq message collection love funny

1. If you don’t think my memory (deposit) is not enough, and my hardware (house) is not perfect enough, I hope to share a server with you.

2. I am a bird imprisoned by you. I have forgotten how high the sky is, but my madness cannot be tolerated in this chaotic city. Tears are my only luxury.

3. I am not so busy anymore, so I want to find some part-time job. Major: Bachelor of Love! Specialties: Washing dishes and washing pots! Ability: I love you without telling you! Salary requirements: Your sincerity! Ideal contract period: Valid all year round, never change jobs!

4. The green mountains and green waters are so lovely, and beautiful women are loved by everyone. For the sake of the next generation of our motherland, I must fall in love with you.

5. I know that you love me like God loves a lamb, and a loving mother loves a baby. Your kind and kind emotion makes me feel all kinds of warmth and intoxication.

6. Job search! Major: Bachelor of Love. Specialties: Washing dishes and washing pots. Ability: I love you without saying it. Salary requirements: Your sincerity. Ideal contract period: Valid for many years, never change jobs!

7. The poplar pole is slippery, I pick rice and go to Yangzhou. Yangzhou loves me good rice. I love Yangzhou Hua Niuniu.

8. I love you so much that my heart is so tired, I miss you so much that my heart is intoxicated, and it feels boring if I don’t see you for a day.

9. Marry in my village. The conditions in my village are not bad: clothing basically relies on spinning, eating basically relies on the party, getting rich basically relies on robbing, getting a wife basically relies on thinking, transportation basically relies on walking, and communication basically relies on Roar, security basically relies on dogs, and heating basically relies on shaking.

10. Look at me now, I have a house for rent; I also have a car, a bicycle; I even have a career, a tutor. Why am I still missing a girlfriend like you?

11. Your gentle face is as delicate as spring, as passionate as summer, as gorgeous as autumn, and as delicate as winter. When I saw you, you were like an ancient shadow in my heart, so I fell in love with you without hesitation!

12. The only knife technique that women should practice is the knife technique for cutting vegetables. For women, this knife technique is more effective than any other knife technique.

13. Mathematics makes me very tired, and physics makes me wrong again and again. Studying really made me haggard, and I was about to have a mental breakdown. Only by surfing the Internet will I not fall behind!

14. I don’t know why humans have to get married? ! Why not let us study it together!

15. I searched for her thousands of times, but suddenly looking back, that person still looked down upon me.

16. My last name is me! I love you! I miss you! My name understands you! My name loves you! My nickname misses you! The book is called Dreaming of You! The power of the name is to win over you! The nickname is chasing you! My friend asked me to deal with you! You can ask me to kiss you!

17. I am moving. The address is No. 520, Lane 520, Si Nian Street, Xiangai Road, Love City. The landlord is you, my favorite, and the lease term is unlimited. Rent: My love, the contract is that I will love you forever, are you willing to take me in?

18. Dear, how are you? I'm sorry, I'm about to miss my appointment again. I'm going on a business trip to the West with three other old bachelors - Sun Wukong, Monk Sha and Monk Tang. It may take three to five years before I come back. Wait for me!

19. I like people who are "half-hearted": they love me, have confidence in me, and are responsible for me; they speak creatively and make me "satisfied"!

20. The first time I went to see you, your mother hit me, hitting me and covering the pot! The second time I went to see you, your father beat me with a cigarette pack! Oops, that sweetheart!

21. My mother in the country said that distant relatives are not as good as close neighbors. I said that few people in the city know each other.

22. Once upon a time, there was a love like that of Lanaha in front of me, but I ignored it. Now I regret it so much! I want to shout loudly now: I love tiger oil!

23. You ask me how deeply I love you, and the moon represents my heart. You asked me how true I am to you, I would faint without you.

24. If you blink your eyes, I will die. If you blink again, I will come to life. If you blink your eyes, I will die.

25. When a man foresees a woman, he will be lost; when a man foresees his wife, he will be confused.

26. You, the lovely one, have stolen my love and my heart. I decided to go to court. What crime should you be sentenced to? After the judge went through all the records and cases, the jury unanimously agreed: You are sentenced to stay with me for life!

27. Question: Why do pangolins keep digging? Answer: Looking for pangolins.

28. I miss you so much, find a painter to draw you, put you in a cup, and kiss you every time I drink water.

29. Your period of hesitation has been passed, don’t tolerate being half-hearted! From today on, only gentle care is allowed, no arrogant actions are allowed; only love is allowed, no hate is allowed; only laughter is allowed, no crying is allowed.

30. When you speak ill of me, can you: Don’t add fuel and vinegar, thinking it’s a stir-fry!

31. First-class smokers in Greater China can do whatever they want. It’s hard to estimate how many wives a second-class smoker has. Third-class smokers eat, drink and sleep on their own. The fourth-class smokers work tirelessly rolling cigarettes and no one knows about it.

32. If you receive it, don’t blame me. Who is timid and doesn’t dare to express my love? I choose a season to love you. We have vowed to each other and run too fast. Are you willing to love me too?

33. You were running around in my mind all day yesterday, and you stayed with me in my dreams all night. I want to say: Thank you, for your hard work!

34. Oh, you seem to get a lot of pleasure when you scold me! If you want to enjoy this feeling every day, marry me!

35. Meeting you is God’s will, getting close to you is intentional, and wanting to date you is my true intention. Don’t think you are proud of it. In fact, it is false and half-hearted. I think I love you.

36. I would like to be a winged bird in the sky. The air pollution is too bad. If we do tree trimming on the ground, deforestation and logging are unreliable. If the people of the world want to be happy, environmental protection must be done first!

37. I wander in the street with empty love and empty feelings. I have no money, no money, and I am single and working hard. Everything is empty and the work is empty. Thinking about it makes you crazy. Life is not easy. This is empty and that is empty. It is easiest to just miss you!

38. You are the flowers and I am the green leaves to set off your beauty. You are the moon and I am the stars to set off your beauty. You are the tea leaves and I am the boiling water. Can I soak you?

39. You are cigarettes and I am tobacco leaves, you are flowers and I am flower rice, you are hair and I am dandruff. In short, we are the best partners and will never be separated!

40. My dear, you stole my love and my heart. I decided to take you to court. What crime should I sentence you to? The judge went through all the criminal records and cases, and finally the jury unanimously agreed: I sentence you to me for life.

41. Sister, sister, you are so beautiful. You are the most gentle and beautiful. I really want to say I love you, but I never have a good time. Can I date you on Valentine's Day? The rose of love is waiting for you.

42. Man: Can I kiss you? Woman: No! Man: What did I just ask? Woman: Can I kiss you? Man: Okay, okay!

43. I heard that getting married is very cheap now. The Civil Affairs Bureau can get it done for only 9 yuan. Let me treat you!

44. If you don’t know how to cook, just stay here and I will cook for you later!

45. You are the bread in the morning, the ice cream in summer, the garlic of Shandong people, and the pepper of Sichuan people. When I see you, my heartbeat speeds up, but I don’t see you in a bad mood. When I dream about you, time flies too fast. I hope it’s not a long wait to have you.

46. Yeah! I accidentally sent you "I love you" by mistake. If you accept it, store it. If you don't accept it, send these three words back to me.

47. Even if a thousand people pass by me, I can still easily recognize you, because 999 of them are stepping on my body, but you are stepping on me. heart!

48. I use my infatuation to exchange for your sincerity; I give my love to my close friend; don’t be careless with me, and stay with me forever.

49. I kiss you when I leave home in the morning, hug you when I go home at night, and want to tease you at work. I send text messages to tease you: I don’t love the fairy in the sky, but you are the only one in my heart; I don’t pick wild flowers, I only really like you!

50. I really want to be your mobile phone, put it in your arms, hold it in your hand, see it in your eyes, and remember it in your heart!

51. Throw a coin and ask God if I love you. If it's positive, that means I love you. If it's negative, then can God be wrong?

52. I am your ice cream in summer, your cotton-padded jacket in winter, your light bulb in the dark, and your bread when you are hungry! I really want to say "I love you" to you!

53. Let me tell you: I like you for what it is! If you have the ability, just tell me: I like you!

54. Do you think I will watch you die? I'll close my eyes!

55. Sincerely accept your wife’s emotional dictatorship and “don’t talk to strangers”, especially not to strange women. Except, of course, the old lady asking for directions.

56. Who can recite my mobile phone number? Who can memorize my QQ? Who knows when my birthday is? Who knows what I'm afraid of. Who remembers what I like?

57. The phone calls make me breathless, the text messages make me weak, I will cook for you forever, and go shopping with you until my legs are short. Why do you want to be so mean to me? You take over for the rest of your life.

58. To marry into a "rich family", you must know how to manage money; to marry into a "poor family", you must know how to make money.

59. The first day I met you, I was conquered by your eyes. At that time, I already knew that I had been your prisoner for life.

60. Snowflakes are floating in the blue sky, and the beautiful leather shoes are leaking from the feet. The acquaintance between you and me is a myth. Please call me back gently!

61. I want to give you half a rose to represent half of my heart, because the other half of my heart has been torn apart by you. Tears are the feeling of missing you, and the heart that I sent you cannot take back. If memories are the only replies, I will never forget that I was once beautiful.

62. Hope: The leader will follow you, the car will let you go, the money will stick to you, the court will favor you, the official career will be with you, the school will take care of you, the real estate will be whatever you want, and your lover will love you!

63. There are two types of wives: lovely and hateful. There are two types of husbands: pathetic and okay.

64. The Buddha said: Only by looking back five hundred times in the past life can we pass by in this life. If it is true, I would trade ten thousand times to meet you. It would be easy for me to just fucking look back in my last life.

65. Only with the sun can the earth rotate, only with the earth can the moon rotate, only with the moon can the starlight be so bright, and only with you and me can the world be so rich and romantic.

66. Love humor: My dear, when you fall asleep, I can only store your love in your mobile phone; when you wake up, I will store my love in your heart; etc. When you see me, I will put my whole body into your arms!

67. When I passed by the drugstore, I thought of you several times: I feel more and more like you are like a "pill bottle". Don't be angry, because you are the medicine that heals me - my mind, body, and heart are all occupied by you! Baby, I love you!

68. Ever since I met you online, I have been caring about you endlessly in my heart. It’s late at night and I don’t want to go home. Just because I have you online, I would rather surf the Internet than go to bed. All this is for you!

69. If the relationship between men and women is handled well, good stories will spread; if it is not handled well, gossip will spread.

70. I miss you dearly, husband, do you? I love you just like drinking boiled water, eating, just like breathing as naturally, sleepless, gentle and gentle, so I will love you forever.

71. Some people were once friends, but after confessing their love, they can no longer even remain friends.

72. When I see you, I am afraid of electric shock; when I cannot see you, I need to recharge; without you, I think I will lose power.

Loving you is my profession, missing you is my career, holding you is my specialty, kissing you is my specialty!

73. From now on, your mobile phone will be bombarded by my 24-hour text messages. You have only two choices. One is to have your defense line completely destroyed; the other is to say you love me.

74. You, you, you little goblin, made me fall into your love poison but you still refused to give me the antidote! Little bad guy! oh! I'm dying! Help me! The solution is simple: give me your love!

75. Boy, just obey your aunt! Tell me your bank cards, credit cards, medical insurance, all cards, and passwords, and let me help you keep them safe, including yours.

76. Girl, girl, I love you, just like a mouse loves rice. You are my bread when I am hungry, you are my fruit knife when I am pregnant, you are my heart, you are my liver. , you are three-quarters of my life!

77. I will love you for ten thousand years, exaggeration! I have loved you for five thousand years, hopelessly! Loving you for a thousand years is ridiculous! I've loved you for a hundred years, which is too long! I have loved you for 70 consecutive years. As long as I am healthy, that is my strong point!

78. Sister, I love you just like a mouse loves rice. I miss you every time I hear it. I fall in love with you at first sight. I pursue you without saying a word. I come to you again and again. I will definitely Want to catch you.

79. The image of a man has only one purpose: to pick up girls. So once a girl gets it, she will sadly find that this man has no image at all.

80. If you can watch me until I turn into an ugly old man with a bald head and a fat belly, then I will also keep watching you until you turn into a withered body and wrinkled face. old lady.

81. Love you for ten thousand years, exaggeration! I have loved you for five thousand years, hopelessly! Loving you for a thousand years is ridiculous! I've loved you for a hundred years, which is too long! Loving you for 70 consecutive years is my strength!

82. My dear, you always say that I like to brag, so please listen to me: "For you, I would go up to the nine heavens to catch the moon, and I would go down to the five oceans to catch turtles!" Because: That "moon" "It's you, and that "turtle" is also you!

83. Missing notice: She has an extraordinary appearance, slim figure, gentle and lovely. She stole my heart and my love. She is the one who received my text message. Anyone who knows the whereabouts please contact me.

84. I don’t know if you are doing well today, but my situation is not good anyway. I just feel that all the people buzzing around me, left and right, inside and outside my head are you! Send a text message to save me!

85. If I pour out the entire Yellow River water, it will extinguish the flame of my love for you. Is it possible to pour out all the water in the Yellow River? no. So I still love you.

86. I have loved you for more than two or three days, missed you for more than a week or two, and missed you for more than a month or two. If you continue to refuse to marry me, then I will move in with you. Let's live together, it's up to you.

87. A little girl once said to me upstairs: Brother, you are so handsome! I immediately replied: handsome or handsome, whatever you want.

88. You are my honey plum meat, you are my fish-flavored shredded pork, you are the Liushuang Duan in Majia Restaurant, and you are the delicious bottom of the Shile pot.

89. When I see you, your heart beats faster, but your mood gets worse. When I dream about you, time flies by too fast. Will it be a long wait to have you?

90. A man and woman who met online felt that the time was right and made an appointment to meet on the third stone chair beside the small bridge and flowing water. The man said, are you... here? The woman said, damn it! Asking you to pick up women online!

91. A child in the back seat will have an accident, and an accident in the back seat will give birth to a child.

92. If you like me, I follow the righteous path of Marxism. Do you know what to do?

93. The scorching sun is long in the summer, the rolling heat wave has nowhere to hide, the eyes are dark and the heart is panicked, and the sweat is flying in the head; missing you is like eating cool candy, and the heart is full of sweat. It's cool at all, no matter how hot it is, it still feels like an air-conditioned room!

94. Eat quite fat, pretend to be fat, have a big head and big ears, have strong limbs, carry a pen, don’t know how to settle accounts, buy a computer, don’t know how to surf the Internet, and make sure you pee on the bed when you sleep at night!

95. I am a dragon in the sky. My sister is a cluster of flowers on the ground. If the dragon does not raise its head, it will not rain and the flowers will not be red.

96. When you are passionately in love, you always promise to get married again in the next life; after getting married, you often wonder whether you committed evil in your previous life.

97. I am not afraid of the sky or the earth, but I am afraid that the teacher will come to my house. Sit on my bed, drink my tea, and my mother will beat the teacher as soon as he leaves.

98. Male: Every time I miss you, the stars will shed a tear. This is how the ocean is formed. Woman: I fart every time I miss you. This is how the ozone layer is formed.

99. Professor of Statistics: Kissing is something that has a higher probability of happening when the vitality statistics are 36-24-36.

100. The feeling of kissing you is crisp, the feeling of hugging you is soft, the feeling of loving you is sweet, and the feeling of missing you is bitter!

101. If I meet you again, I will pull you to the bedroom, lock the door, push you down on the bed crazily, cover your head with the quilt, open my arms, and stack you up The sleeves tell you: Look, my watch is luminous!