Quick: jokes and cold jokes (the funnier the better)

Man: It's better not to wear it.

Woman: Wear it safely.

Man: Trust my skills.

W: I won't let you go without it.

Man: You look like a man without it.

Woman: Are you bored? Will riding a motorcycle and wearing a helmet kill you?

2. Once upon a time, in a poor family, his son got married and his mother had no money to buy underwear for him, so she made him a pair of underwear with a rice bag. On the wedding night, she took off her underwear and fainted on the spot. On the front of the underwear, it says: net weight is 25 kg, made in Thailand. ...

Several monkeys peeked at a man who was taking a bath. Suddenly a monkey fell from the tree laughing and asked him why he was laughing. It said: it's strange that human beings have such a short tail that they have a face in front! Laugh me to death! !

The elephant laughed at the camel and said, "Why do your breasts grow on your back?" "Hum!" The camel said, "I never talk to people with dicks on their faces!" " "The snake laughed, and the elephant said," The face is on the penis! What are you laughing at? ? "

5. The chicken complained to the cow, "It's unfair that humans let us lay more eggs but plan their own children." The cow said, "What's your little grievance? So many people eat my milk, but no one calls me mom. "

6. A man went to the toilet. The next door suddenly said, how have you been recently? The answer is not rude: not bad. The next door said: What are you busy with? This person: on business. Next door: I'll hang up first. There's a psycho here. As soon as he spoke, he tried to answer.

7. Love is like shit. Once the water is washed away, it will never come back. Love is like shit, it can't stop when it comes. Love is like shit, it is the same every time. Love is like shit, sometimes it's just a fart if you work hard for a long time. '

8. The bird flew out of the forest wearing a bulletproof vest and soon came back with a gunshot wound. When the squirrel saw it, he asked, why did you get shot in a bulletproof vest? The bird said, damn it, I will never undress again!

9. Sleep to death: Sleeping with beautiful women is exciting; Sleep with your lover; Sleeping with ugly women is boring to death; Sleeping with dancers is expensive to death; Sleeping with a fierce woman is exhausting; Sleeping with a virgin is stupid to death; Sleep with your wife all night and play dead.

10. The shortest novel in the world: Once upon a time, there was a fat man who jumped from the 22nd floor, but in the end he was. ..............