What makes you feel tired, but you are ashamed to see people around you working hard?

There is an old joke:

There was a gifted scholar whose family had gone from eating three meals of fish to not being able to sleep, but he tried his best to hide his poverty and often pretended to be rich.

So he was targeted by a thief. The thief found that he was just a poor genius in his house and couldn't help swearing.

After hearing this, the gifted scholar quickly came out to argue with the thief: "I am a famous gifted scholar here, and it is your pleasure to come to my home."

"Not rare." The thief made a contemptuous remark and then turned away.

The gifted scholar quickly took out the only treasure left in the heirloom and gave it to the thief, saying, "I am so famous, how can I have no money?" Here you are. " . Don't call my family poor when you are outside! "

Many people laugh at this talent after reading it, because he is so vain that he really can't live.

After laughing, I found that many people are too proud and difficult to put on airs because of their sense of identity with life.

2

"Desperate to save face and pain"

It is undeniable that living with dignity and confidence is everyone's normal need, and it is also their inner yearning and pursuit for a better life.

However, if saving face becomes a habit, and even often "slaps a swollen face and fills a fat man", it is still yourself who will eventually suffer.

Too face-saving, in the final analysis, is to take yourself too seriously.

You are doomed to be unable to walk easily with too heavy a burden.

Zhou Zitong's book Guo tells a story:

Bian Que, a famous doctor, once visited Cai Huangong and discovered Cai Huangong's illness. He reminded him: "Your illness is still between the muscles. If you don't treat it quickly, the situation will be even worse. "

But Cai Huangong didn't want to admit that he was a sick person, so he resolutely ignored Bian Que and turned a deaf ear to Bian Que's repeated reminders until he was terminally ill and died of illness.

The allusion to avoiding illness and seeking medical treatment came from this. In order to save face, but unwilling to accept their own defects or mistakes, and finally paid a heavy price.

Sometimes I live too tired, but I just can't let go of my face.

Let the inflated vanity blind your eyes, refuse to recognize the reality and deceive yourself.

I agree with a wise saying of Li Ka-shing:

"When you put down your face to make money, you are sensible. When you earn back your face with money, it means you have succeeded. When you can earn money by saving face, it means that you are already alone. When you still stay there drinking, bragging, pretending that you don't know anything and only love the so-called face, it means that this is your life. " Pretending to face it will not add icing on the cake to life, but will only increase troubles and even bring disaster. Why bother?

Paying too much attention to face not only makes you miserable, but also makes people around you sad.

It will also make people ignore the really important part of life, miss opportunities, miss happiness and miss sincerity.

I believe we are all familiar with the following situations:

When my parents first arrived in the city, they didn't speak Mandarin well and wore rustic clothes. They felt embarrassed and became angry.

Children make a scene in public and feel humiliated, so they beat and scold. As a result, children make a scene even more.

……

Zhu Ziqing, a famous essayist, had a similar experience.

Later, he thought his father was an old man with little knowledge, and his clothes and manners were tacky and backward. Walking with him may even hurt his face a little.

However, when he saw his father hobbling across the platform just to buy himself some oranges, his eyes suddenly cried.

He was not only moved by the depth and greatness of his father's love, but also ashamed of the shame he had just felt because of saving face.

I think Zhu Ziqing should be grateful. Fortunately, I can realize my ridiculousness in time, and then cherish that precious fatherly love.

After all, what is more regrettable in this world than not cherishing and treating a sincere feeling because of saving face?

three

People with big patterns never put on airs.

Legend has it that Su Dongpo went out to play and stopped at a temple. Seeing his simple clothes, the receptionist in the temple coldly said "Please sit down" and picked up a cup of tea and said, "Tea".

After Su Dongpo sat down, the receptionist talked with him and found that the talents in front of him were extraordinary and there must be extraordinary history.

So he led Su Dongpo into the wing, respectfully said, "Please sit down" and ordered the people below to serve tea.

When Su Dongpo was found to be a famous poet, the receptionist immediately bowed, invited Su Dongpo into a living room in Jing Ya, "please sit down" and then ordered "good tea".

When Su Dongpo left, the receptionist asked him to write an inscription as a souvenir. Su Dongpo wrote a couplet: "Please sit down, please sit down, please sit down; Tea, tea, good tea. "

At first, the receptionist deliberately put on airs and ignored Su Dongpo. She tried to show off in this way, but it turned out to be her shallow and rude cultivation.

People who put on airs attach too much importance to their own identity, even in order to show that they are more noble than the people around them, regardless of the feelings of others, which will only make people hate.

And truly noble people, never limit themselves to "identity", will not be bound.

They not only pursue a higher world, but also always maintain a peaceful heart, respect others and treat themselves well.

People who have status but don't put on airs bring their own light. Don't put on airs, make them more approachable and have more personality charm.

There is an interesting story circulating on the campus of Peking University:

In the 1970s, a foreign freshman came to school with a big bag and a small bag. Being unfamiliar with the terrain, he panicked.

Just then, the freshmen saw an old man wearing an old tunic suit and carrying a cloth bag, and asked him to look after his luggage.

It's past noon after freshman year's formalities. When he hurried back, he didn't expect the old man to stand in the hot sun.

After thanking the freshmen again and again, I returned to the dormitory with my luggage.

At the opening ceremony the next day, the freshmen were surprised to find that the old man who was helping him with his luggage turned out to be Ji Xianlin, vice president of Peking University.

Ji Xianlin once said, "I hate people putting on airs, but some people love putting on airs. This is the extreme expression of low taste. "

He said so and did the same.

He refused to accept all the fame entrusted to him by the outside world-"master of Chinese studies", "academic master" and "national treasure", and remained honest and practical.

In Ji Xianlin's eyes, he is just an ordinary person, and all these identities exist in name only. Therefore, after he became famous, his works continued, and he was never afraid of being ruined by carelessness.

It is precisely because he does not value his sense of identity and always keeps an enterprising heart that he has achieved a wonderful life.

People with big patterns never deliberately put on airs to create momentum for themselves. They have their own continuous strength, there is no need to bluff.

four

Don't forget, don't live in the eyes of others.

I can't tear my face off, I can't put down my shelf, and I live with a sense of identity. After all, I value other people's eyes too much.

If you care too much about other people's eyes, you will be afraid to do things. If you are in a dilemma, you can't devote yourself wholeheartedly.

It is better to be loyal to yourself and live comfortably than to care about gossip and tie yourself up in a mess.

Life is a long road, and at each different stage, everyone will experience different identity changes.

Only people with empty hearts are eager to prove their value to the outside world through various labels.

But one's life is not for others to see, and focusing on oneself is the greatest practice.

Other people's eyes and mouths are all others'. Only by going your own way can you be called a winner in life.

After all, identity is only temporary, and what really makes people different is the warmth and beauty rooted in the heart.