When the daughter-in-law was just pregnant, her mother-in-law showed her attitude: "What do you think of having a boy and a girl?"

It is said that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is difficult, sometimes it is not just that it is difficult to get along, but that some people have pulled the two to the opposite from the beginning.

When you have this idea, it is easy to produce many contradictions, and things that are not problems can also become major events.

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should be one-sided, after all, it will still be a family. So some self-righteous dilemmas will eventually rebound on themselves.

I have a classmate. After marriage, she always looks hostile to her mother-in-law. She doesn't want to talk to her mother-in-law much, and she doesn't want to go to her mother-in-law's house.

Even at an extreme stage, she said, "I know there is something wrong with my idea, but I am like this now." It hurts to see my mother-in-law. No matter what she does, I feel bored. "

It stands to reason that she has been married for less than two years and has not seen her mother-in-law. The relationship should not come to this.

If she really wants to investigate the reason, she can't say why. It's no big deal for my mother-in-law to make enemies with her, but when I think about it carefully, I feel that there are too many places I don't like.

She said, "When I was not married before, my mother often told me about my grandmother, and I always advised her that she thought too much and told her to be more open-minded and not be so haggle over every ounce."

Today, what I said is still in my ears. It's just that she didn't expect to become the daughter-in-law who likes to spit out her mother-in-law and haggle over every ounce so soon.

When she talks about her mother-in-law, she can't stop and feels that she has a lot to say.

First of all, the first time I went to my mother-in-law's house, she was very nervous and carefully prepared many gifts, but her mother-in-law still looked very kind and her heart was relieved.

However, this good feeling did not last long.

At dinner, my mother-in-law somehow talked about their marriage, and suddenly inexplicably said something about who got married without a bride price, how many marriages she had, how good she was to her mother-in-law, like her own mother, and so on.

Hearing her confusion, she gradually sorted out her own ideas.

02

What my mother-in-law said is obvious. Although she didn't say what to do, everything started from her own standpoint.

She thought to herself, then why don't you tell me who got married, how much bride price she received, and how good her mother-in-law is to her daughter-in-law? But to be polite, she didn't say anything, just smiled and pretended to listen.

Fortunately, after chatting for a while, I was interrupted by my boyfriend's father: "Just eat. Why do you say so much? "

Just forget it, she breathed a sigh of relief and looked at her boyfriend sitting on the side. He shook his head helplessly, and later explained to her that mother was such a temper and told her not to take it to heart.

After all, this is the first time we have met. Of course, she won't deny a person because of such a trivial matter.

This classmate has always been a view on the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

She thinks that getting along with her mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is just like getting along with others. If a person is kind to you, most people can see it and give it back to each other.

She was once said to be kind in life, although everyone said that kind people were bullied. But I want to say that kindness is not cowardice, and principled kindness will make you very popular in life.

She is very popular and has many good friends. Everyone trusts her and is willing to help her in anything. Therefore, she also believes that mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along just like this.

However, she didn't realize that she had overlooked a problem.

Getting along with mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is actually more complicated than getting along with friends, because friends are generally respectful and friendly, while mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will be more tempted and suspicious.

Just like every daughter-in-law, when she really meets her mother-in-law, she will also think about who she is and how to get along with her mother-in-law. And the mother-in-law, who may think more, may put this idea into practice.

03

Later, once this practice goes beyond a certain range, it will naturally cause the other party's dissatisfaction.

Moreover, people are selfish, and not everyone can understand the truth of empathy. Especially the mother-in-law generation, they consider one thing, and it is easy to proceed from their own situation.

As my classmate said, because my mother-in-law was worried that her daughter-in-law was uneasy and wanted more things from his family, she said she was married.

I am worried that her daughter-in-law is not good to her, so I say that her daughter-in-law is good to her mother-in-law;

But she can't take care of her son, so what a woman should do at home is to be a good wife. The reason is that her mother-in-law knows that she is not good at cooking.

In a word, it is understandable that her mother-in-law wants her to be an ideal daughter-in-law. Everyone's innermost thoughts are beneficial to himself.

However, if everything is for yourself, it becomes selfish.

My classmate's mother-in-law is also thinking of herself, so listening to her mother-in-law always says this, she is gradually dissatisfied.

But this dissatisfaction is far from enough to challenge her and her husband's feelings. At best, it's just a complaint She met her current husband at the age of 27, and it was not easy for them to like each other.

So the wedding is still held as usual.

What she thinks is that being polite to her mother-in-law is enough. After all, no matter how dissatisfied she is, she will call her mother, and she doesn't want to embarrass her husband.

However, the mother-in-law still has frequent "golden sentences".

At that time, she was just pregnant. My mother-in-law rushed over when she heard the news. After not sitting for a while, she looked at her stomach and said, "Boys are born and can eat whatever they want."

The disaster came from the mouth, and her mother-in-law made it clear that she preferred sons to daughters. She turned black and said wryly, "I think it's all the same."

My mother-in-law didn't think anything was wrong with her words, and went to do her own thing. Later, when her husband came back from work, her mother-in-law actually repeated this sentence.

However, this time her husband went back: "I like my daughter. I want to have a son and give birth to myself. "

04

So all kinds of things add up, especially when her pregnant mother-in-law comes over. Because I have lived for a long time, my impression of my mother-in-law has deteriorated, and Du Lala is not coming back.

Mother-in-law is too strict, she has to express her opinions no matter what, and sometimes what she says can thunder, but she still goes her own way.

Later, when her mother-in-law finally left, she was relieved.

What she often says is: "If I have a son in the future and become someone else's mother-in-law, I will definitely be a person who doesn't talk much, mind my own business, and don't make irresponsible comments, and live my own life without adding unnecessary troubles to my children."

Looking closely at the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law often comes from words.

As the old saying goes, a good word warms three winters, and a bad word hurts people in June. Especially between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, we should pay more attention to their discretion when speaking. Sometimes, when we say something, it does not achieve the expected effect, but it is counterproductive.

Therefore, think twice before you speak, both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should be like this.

There is no deep hatred, but sometimes, those subtle self-righteous words from life "shock" each other, which is often the starting point of dissatisfaction accumulation. The more you talk, the more mistakes you make.

There is a cycle between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. As I said, whether it is good or bad, it will eventually rebound on itself, and time is the best witness.

A mother-in-law wants to be as close as a mother and daughter, but that is only the ideal state. If you can't do it, don't force it, but at least respect it. Don't be rash, say whatever you want.

A good relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will also make marriage much simpler and happier. I hope every mother-in-law can understand this truth.