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A classic happy joke
Classic happy jokes, sometimes, a joke can clear a person's nervous mood and relax, which also plays an important role in interpersonal relationships. Many people will tell jokes when chasing girls. The following is the content sharing of classic happy paragraphs.
Classic happy joke 1 professor and farmer bet
The professor made a bet with the farmer.
The professor said: I have a question, you don't know, give me five dollars;
You give me a question, I don't know, how about giving you 500?
Farmers agree.
Professor: How far is the moon from the earth?
The farmer handed the professor five yuan.
The farmer asked: what animal is going up the mountain with three legs and down the mountain with four legs?
The professor tried to find a solution, but lost 500 pounds.
The farmer received the money, and the professor asked, What animal is it?
The farmer handed the professor five dollars, said he didn't know, and then went to sleep.
Beggars and farmers
A playboy lost all his ancestral business and had to become a beggar on the street. One day, a beggar met a farmer, and the farmer said to him, "You are also a seven-foot man, with no shortage of arms and legs. Why not work to support yourself? "
Hearing this, the beggar was not ashamed at all. He picked up a branch and wrote four sentences on the ground: "Eat a thousand meals in the morning and stay in a thousand pavilions at night. I will do whatever I want without violating the laws of the court. "
After reading the poem, the farmer also picked up a branch and added two words after each poem: "Eating a thousand meals is not enough; Spend the night in the Wan Hu Pavilion and cover the grass; No violation of court laws is no problem; Let me go all over the world, dogs bite! "
The rich and the peasants
A rich man walked into a restaurant and saw a farmer eating a cheap fried rice. He looked down on him and felt ashamed to have dinner with such a person.
So he said, "Give my pet rabbit a salad and give me a steak." He also ordered 10 fried rice for the beggars outside. After that, I also looked at the farmers.
At this time, our farmer eldest brother finally knew that he was coming to see him and said, "Give my dog a steak. Give me another rabbit that has eaten salad. "
Loneliness of farmer's uncle
There is a parody in the Chinese exam: the teacher makes chalk crumbs float everywhere. No, it's not chalk crumbs, it's wisdom tidbits spilled in class.
Requirements are: things+negation+phenomenon.
A strongman: the farmer's uncle's field is full of radishes. No, it's not radish, it's the loneliness of the farmer's uncle. ...
The difference between farmers and urban residents
Farmers cultivate children in three words: 1, children, parents have no ability, you have to rely on yourself; 2, children, be a person in advance, you must not do things that hurt others; 3, children, spread your hands and rush, it is really not good, there is food at home.
Three words from city people harm children: 1, baby, just study hard, and other parents will do it; 2, baby, remember not to suffer; I tell you, if you don't study hard, you will have no food when you grow up.
Classic happy joke 2 1, the old couple went to take pictures, and the photographer asked, "Grandpa, do you want side light, backlight or full light?" My uncle said shyly, "I don't care." Can you leave a pair of underwear for your aunt? "
2. Wife's Quotation: You are allowed to get drunk and hook up with girls, but you must return to the team at night. If you dare to break my heart and my lungs, I will definitely cripple your third leg and let your bird sleep forever.
3. Two charming children got married. After seeing off the guests, the groom returned to the bedroom and found a meatball lying on the bed! The groom was frightened and asked where the bride was. Meatball said shyly, I hate it, you don't even know people when they take off their clothes!
4. The old couple had a whim when they were eating one day: naked rice! Get back to your old feelings! After undressing, the old woman said, I still have a reaction! Breasts are still as hot as when they were young! The old man squinted and said, it's drooping in the soup!
5. Four mice brag: A: I eat rat poison as candy every day; B: it itches if you don't step on a mouse for a day; C: Don't go to the streets several times a day. D: it's getting late. Let's go home and hug the cat.
6. The sky is blue, the sea is deep, and none of people's words are true; Love is eternal, blood is bright red, and it is impossible for a man not to fight; When a man has money, he is destined for everyone. If a person can rely on it, pigs can climb trees.
7. A group of ants climbed up the elephant's back, but they were knocked down. Only one ant sticks to the elephant's neck. The ant below shouted: strangle him, strangle him, demo, fucking reverse!
8. The child stole a parrot from a prostitute [hospital]. As soon as he entered the door, the parrot called, Move! Seeing his mother, he shouted: The boss has changed, too! Seeing his sister, he shouted, Miss has changed! Seeing his father, he shouted, I'm still an old customer!
9, the long road of life, who is not bad! Family to take care of, lovers to get along! There is a cook at home, a kind-hearted person outside, a nice table and a missing person in the distance! Keep two, keep one, develop three, four, five, six, seven!
10, a puppy climbed onto your dining table and crawled towards a roast chicken. You are furious and say, if you dare to do anything to that roast chicken, I will dare to do anything to you. As a result, the dog licked the chicken's ass and you fainted. The dog said, look who is cruel.
1 1. Legend has it that tonight, ghosts haunt, dead light reappears, and ghosts turn around! May the ghost hear my call, come to your head in the middle of the night, touch your face with pale face, green eyes and dry hands and say good night to you for me!
12, man, always smiling, eyes discharging, either sick or cheating! A woman with breast enhancement and thin waist is dissolute and coquettish, either taking out her pocket or letting you have a black knife! These days, freaks and banshees, look out!
13, when you were walking on the road, a bitch jumped on you, bit off a piece of meat from your foot and swallowed it quickly. When you put out your foot to kick it, the dog said with tears: You fight, anyway, I already have your flesh and blood in my stomach!
14, the mouse is particularly depressed without a girlfriend. Finally, a bat agreed to marry him, and the mouse was very happy. Others laughed at his lack of foresight. Mouse: What do you know? She is at least a stewardess.
15, a friend asked how the bat married the mouse. The bat's eyes are full of tears, which is meaningful: alas! That day, he ate Viagra, with strong firepower, jumped on the ceiling and gave him a hand.
16, I sent you this message for ten cents to tell you that I am not a penniless person. For example, this dime message is my birthday present to you.
17, ants lie lazily in the soil, stretching out one leg, and friends ask you why? Ant: Then the elephant came and tripped him.
18, the magpie came, my mother said it was like a bird, like a guest; The swallow came, and my mother said it was a good bird or a guest. The crow came, and the child asked, are you a guest? The crow cried, Yes, I am a hacker!
Classic happy joke 3 1. The photographer asked Dai Xiao how many seconds it took to prepare. Dai Xiao obviously held out three fingers. Why did the photographer press the shutter immediately? Because idiots are sticking out: middle finger, ring finger and little finger, which also means OK!
After several days and nights of breathing by 20 million people in Beijing, the air quality in Beijing has finally improved.
3. personals: Don't like makeup, save money on makeup, don't like shopping, don't like snacks, leave snacks, don't like cars, save money on cars, and in addition, the kind that usually loves to save money is the best.
4. The girl is 28 years old and short of money. Today, she asked for a marriage online, hoping to find a rich man. Age is not a distance, height is not a gap, and I don't care about being fat. As long as I have money, I can stay with you. Don't contact me if I have no money.
When I was a child, I thought I could save the world when I grew up. When I grow up, I find that the whole world can't save me. ...
6. Spending money is the pain of happiness. Living in every corner of life, it hurts to pay utilities, buy daily necessities and send text messages. Making money is a painful pleasure, rolling back and forth in my blood. I have a headache when I work overtime, and my body hurts when I am busy with business. If only I could get a raise!
7, make money sporadic light rain, spend money goose feather heavy snow. Eyes full of beautiful things, pockets empty. Bite your teeth, stamp your feet, cover your wallet and run. I wish my friends a smooth career, rolling financial resources, endless money and hand cramps.
8. You won't know if you don't know. The exam is exciting enough, but there is no doubt; If you don't know in class, you will make a lot of styles; Self-study is the same as knowledge, you are all born; Born in China, died in China; It is possible for me to learn English. English is not qualified, which shows my character;
If the math is unqualified, the teacher takes full responsibility; What should I do if the language is unqualified? Doing well in the exam depends entirely on isolation; If you don't do well in the exam, you don't know how to do it in isolation; Going back to school every day is even more scary, and the teacher talks about the wild. I listened like a sleepwalker, criticizing for no reason;
Homework is like revenge, and doing wild things is like fishing for the head; Going back to school is left-handed, getting worse every day; Copy your homework, and none of the departments will hand it in; Go back to school and drink coke after school; Ring the bell and fly separately, another day.
9. If you really want to be a boss, you won't be short of money. Wages are paid every day and every month, and you can change the way you want; The salary is not hot yet, and my wife stole most of it; After paying the water and electricity mortgage, the balance is very small; So tighten your belt and see you next month!
10, I didn't mean to be different, so I can't help but have outstanding taste.
1 1. Kong Huiling has been taking pains to take care of her family for more than ten years.
12, it is difficult to make money at noon on weekdays. Who knows that the money in the bag can't make ends meet every month Broken in two in one minute, still tight at the end of the month. Please pay tribute to the god of wealth at once. There are candles and fruits at home. I wish my friends are covered by the god of wealth all the year round, and they can earn money without worry.
13, female: I have no feelings for you. Me: OK, you can go. Woman: How do you talk? Me: I like direct people. If you tell me how you feel, I will tell you how I feel. Woman: You are so stingy. Me: this is called a frank exchange of views between the host and the guest.
14, what is love in the world? The sage replied, "Waste!"
15, what is really terrible is not playing the piano to a cow, but a group of cows playing the piano to you.
16, I'm worried about you recently. I wish you hard. I wish you charm and hard work; Do things with courage, make a fortune and make profits; Love is beautiful and life is really smooth. Work hard towards happiness and wish you a happy mood!
17, cold Monday, braised Tuesday, steamed Wednesday, fried Thursday, stir-fried Friday, happy spices, leisurely wine, I will cook a blessing dinner for you this weekend, and I am willing to enjoy it happily.
18, people have lived all their lives. Don't be too cold in winter, too hot in summer, don't pretend to be poor if you have money, and don't show off if you have no money. Smiling is better than frowning. Friends often remember, happy life!
19. Why did Guan Yu die earlier than Zhang Fei? Answer: Beauty is unlucky. ...
20. The mouse fell in love with the cat and sang: I love you, I love you, just as the mouse loves rice, no matter how many storms, I will still accompany you. Cat: Don't be vain. My mother said that love without marriage purpose is hooliganism!
2 1. Lovers should be gentle as water and sweet as honey, colleagues should be diligent and have no temper, and friends should have a snot. So, honey, wipe your nose quickly after the Chinese New Year, and it's clean!
Napoleon: I can't find the word "miss" in the dictionary.
23. Eat watermelon to cool off the heat. Beauty beauty is cucumber, evergreen diuresis is wax gourd, and the sweetest is cantaloupe. You are family with them. Why are you hiding underground? So you are a sweet potato.
24. In order to spend money, you fell in love with making money. Because it is difficult to make money, I dare not spend money. My friend, I know your difficulties. I come to wish my friend a prosperous business and a successful career. Congratulations on getting rich!
25. I don't ask for my marriage conditions, just ask for an appointment time: not for one day, not for two days; Not sunny, not raining, not cloudy; Not on weekdays, not on holidays; Not on the first day, not on the fifteenth; Spring and autumn are absent, winter and summer are absent; When shall we meet? Hehe, you know what?
26. Xiaoling thought: This is easy to handle. Just open another hole and let the water flow out. So he made another hole in his sole with scissors. If the water in the rain boots accumulates more and more.
27. The child came to his mother in tears, and her mother asked, What's the matter, baby? Child: Dad accidentally hit his finger with a hammer. Mom: Then why are you crying? Child: Because I just laughed.
28. Cherish your life-if God keeps you alive, you must have a plan.
29. I dare not call you when I miss you, for fear of hearing your voice. Sadly, I always miss you, but I can't always stop calling. So, I excitedly picked up my mobile phone and dialed the phone for you. Hello? Why not you? Dizzy! It turns out that my mobile phone is in arrears!
30. Once, the bus was about to leave, and a woman with heavy makeup was chasing after it. Master, master, don't go, wait for me. Later, the bus master suddenly said, I am in a hurry to be reborn, and the banshee quickly dodged. Don't miss the good time to return to China! Then I drove the car forward!
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