School activities. Help me find a sketch for four people. I will give you 100 points. Please see the question for details.

Qiang Qiang Foursome

Guo: We are not outsiders. They all know us. We are very happy to have such an opportunity. We can sit down and talk. My name is Guo Degang, and this is Guo Degang’s partner,

Yu: Yu Qian.

Guo: Don’t say your name.

Yu: Why not let me tell you your name?

Guo: This is Guo Degang’s junior brother.

Li: My name is Li Jing.

Guo: Shut up! Guo Degang's apprentice,

He: My name is He Yunwei.

Guo: Sit, sit still, sit still.

Slip this.

Guo: Right? Well, (to Yu Qian) you go over there, you go over there.

Yu: I, ah. (Move the chair)

Guo: Yes, it’s in the way. You still go back. You sit behind the flower basket.

Yu: Me? I can't be seen.

Guo: We all know each other. Li Jing,

Yu: I introduced you,

Guo: Brother Qianer,

Yu: Yes.

Guo: Brother Qianer wore all his sister-in-law’s clothes for this show today.

Yu: Huh?

Li: Look how vivid it is!

Yes, the color is brighter.

Guo: This is similar to facial expression.

Yu: Not this color, not this color of face.

Guo: Very good.

He: Good color and energy.

Guo: Let’s talk about it between us. In terms of intelligence, (referring to Li Jing) he is a little bit worse.

Li: Who is it?

Yu: I admit it, I admit it.

Li: Who is almost there?

Guo: I’m here to break the news. Why? Many girls like Li Jing.

Yu: Yes.

Guo: But after you know his true situation, you will definitely vomit.

Li: No, you can say whatever you want. Please tell me the real situation.

Yu: It’s not that disgusting.

Guo: Growing up in a violent family. His parents had been fighting since he was a child.

Li: It’s quite powerful.

Guo: His mother had a fight with his father when she was pregnant with him, and they started fighting.

Yu: Huh? Still pregnant?

Guo: His mother patted her belly, "You beat me to death! Two lives!" His father was scared. He still has this problem now.

Li: Me too?

Guo: When he was a child, whenever he had a fight, he would say, "You beat me to death!" He would slap his stomach and say, "Three lives!"

Yu: How could he have three lives?

Guo: There are still two crickets in my pocket!

Yu: Does this count human life?

Li: Protect wild animals!

Guo: Never heard of it. He was like this when he was a child, and he was not very smart when he went to school. The words you said on the stand are very wise, and they were all taught to him by my apprentice.

He: Feed it mouth by mouth!

Guo: There was such an incident when he was in school. The teacher told him to bring 10 yuan tomorrow to buy a map in school and take a geography class.

Yu: Oh, Use money to buy maps.

Guo: Hey, I asked his dad for 10 yuan, but he didn’t buy it and spent it instead. His dad asked you to buy a map, why didn’t you buy it? He was happy, "I thought about it, I don't plan to go anywhere in this life."

Yu: I don't know Daoer.

Guo: His exam results were terrible. When he took it home, his father asked him how many points he got. Sometimes there was no paper, "Where is your exam paper?" "My classmate borrowed it." That's it. one person. So it's not as you imagine, being romantic and smart, these words are all for me.

Li: Are you feeling guilty or not?

Guo: It’s all about me.

Yu: Please take it easy.

Guo: What happened to me? Isn’t this good for me?

Yu: Take it easy, take it easy. Not to mention romantic.

Guo: (to Li Jing) Huh? you? You are not good, but you are good, you go back, the three of us said, you go!

Li: No, no, no, no.

He: Let’s go home.

Li: Which house should we go to?

Yu: Hey, he saves trouble.

Guo: He is with my apprentice and we are suffering.

Li: Who is suffering?

Guo: We are suffering because our children are smart.

Li: It’s not like him. (Chong Yunwei) It’s my turn to talk about you.

He: Me?

Yu: Hey, you guys pick each other up a little bit every time.

Li: Right, right. This is fun.

Guo: (punches Brother Qianer) He doesn’t look like an adult at all.

Yu: Listen.

Li: As everyone knows, he came to our Deyun Club in 2002.

Guo: Yes.

He: It’s been a while.

Li: I saw this kid from the beginning, sitting on the right side of the first row, watching our performances every day.

Guo: Yes, you were still in your senior year of high school at that time.

Yu: Not big?

Li: Who said that? Originally, this child didn't look like this, but now maybe I just like it, let's see. . .

He: It turns out that I am tall!

Li: No!

He: If you are too capable, you will fall.

Li: What fell?

Yu: I always walk in front of the theater and grind my lower half off!

He: It’s not that hard.

Guo: Don’t worry, I’ll run against him later.

Yu: Huh? Okay!

Li: Not finished yet!

Guo: There is no adult like you.

Li: I shaved off a whole inch of my head,

He: Yes.

Li: It looks like a hedgehog.

Yu: It’s the same now.

Li: Now I look like a mouse.

He: Not as good as this hedgehog.

Li: Still a foreign mouse, Mickey Mouse.

He: You praise me.

Li: Originally they were all called little hedgehogs. Later, I found a partner, and he was quite good-looking. This boss matched He Yunwei very well.

He: Yes.

Li: Wearing high heels, you can walk under the table with your feet up.

Yu: Hey!

Li: I don’t know if it’s 1.2 meters or 1.3 meters.

Yu: Anyway, it’s a good match.

Li: This is long,,,

Guo: What are you talking about?

Yu: As an adult, you have to comment.

Guo: How can I go to 1.2 meters?

Yu: Not 1.2 meters?

Li: Less than one meter and two meters?

Guo: One meter and two, one and two meters.

He: It’s ridiculous!

Guo: Yes, yes. One meter two, right?

Yu: Yes.

He: It’s ridiculous to have it.

Guo and Li: It’s 1.2 meters tall.

He: This is unbelievable.

Li: I just said it’s 1.2 meters. He looks pretty cool too.

He: Keep editing!

Li: What is continuous editing? With a beard glued on, he looks like Zhang Fei.

He: This is all the baggage my master has used, so don’t use it.

Li: Doesn’t this still ring?

Guo: Hey! I told you, brother Qian'er and his wife, do you know this?

Li: All the same, all the same. Anyway, to use our jargon, it’s a bit more nianhe.

Yu: Is this still a joke?

Guo: You can’t talk nonsense on stage.

Li: No, no, no, let me introduce it. Sometimes the audience is not clear about our jargon. We have to be completely Everyone can't understand a word of this kind of thing, but sometimes you still have to use this occasion to make it public, because why? There is indeed such a real thing.

Guo: Hey, take a breath, take a breath, I’m almost suffocated here.

Li: Because there is no burden on this point, I want to speak quickly. This happened once with a friend of mine who was also in our industry.

Guo: Who is it?

Li: Don’t say who it is. How inappropriate.

Guo: Are you afraid that people will sue you?

Li: I am not afraid, not afraid, not afraid.

Guo: Just say what I said is fine.

Li: I am mainly afraid that he will sue you.

Guo: Just say what I said is fine. I have a lawyer.

Yu: It’s okay, he is brave.

Li: I’m afraid he will sue others. The two of us went to their house to look for him, but he was not at home that day, but his wife was. As soon as the door was opened, my wife came out to see me. She recognized me, so I chatted a few words and left. I asked if I was not home, but I didn't go in. Later, at the door, this friend of mine told me that in front of his wife, he looked so shabby and was embarrassed to speak ordinary words, so he said a few words using our terminology.

He: What did you say?

Li: That’s what I said. Pointing at your wife, who is this fruitarian?

He: Fruit?

Li: Do you understand fruit food? Women are called fruit eaters. I would say, this is the root cause of flowing water.

Guo: (referring to the audience) Do you understand me?

Li: Let me explain, I haven’t explained yet!

Yu: Four bandits are sitting here!

Guo: His Mandarin must be subtitled. I tell you.

Li: No, my surname is He, my name is Liushui Wan, and my original fruit is my daughter-in-law, Liu Shuiwan’s original fruit. Oops, I miss you.

Yu: It doesn’t look good.

Li: Well, it doesn’t look good.

Guo: Nian Leng has a bad meaning.

Li: Right, right. I quickly said, chant the group.

Yu: This is?

Li: Just don’t say it. After saying these few words, we twisted our faces and left. But when we left, his wife watched our words and expressions to see that something was wrong with our expressions, so she remembered our words. When he comes home in the evening, his wife wants to ask him. Just ask Xiao He'er, two friends came today, one is Li Jing, and I don't know the other one. They gestured at the door and said a few words, which were probably your terminology. I don't understand either. Let me ask you. Who can tell me about this fruit diet? Ah, this is asking who you are. Then Li Jing said, "Liu Shui Ten Thousand Fruits", so he told him, "This is my wife, oh," that person said again, "Fruit food, Nian Ling", what's going on? When He Yunwei heard this, how could I explain it? If I want to say that it doesn't look good and is offensive to my wife, I might as well make up a lie.

He: What did I say?

Yu: Hey! Really solid!

Li: This Nianluo is to compliment you on your beauty.

He: It’s the other way around.

Li: Hey, beautiful is called Nianheng.

Guo: Go ahead and feel guilty!

Li: In the end, his wife believed it.

Guo: Oh, this is a real person!

Li: Let me tell you He Yunwei, this is not my fault. If I put on rouge and powder and you look at it again, it would be even worse than this!

Guo: Let me stop you first. Don’t use jargon on the stage. Nianhe nianhe. When you say this, you shouldn’t say it in your conscience. This is a term within our industry in the old society. It's almost useless now.

Yu: No one said this.

Guo: Except for Yu Qian who loves to say this jargon backstage, no one else likes to say it.

He: I wouldn’t understand it if he didn’t explain it.

Li: You speak more eloquently than anyone else!

Yu: Normally I don’t talk about this.

Guo: I usually say this to you,

Yu: What do I say usually?

Guo: Why didn’t you say it? When I talk to him, he will definitely say a few words in jargon.

Yu: I don’t talk, I don’t like to talk, I know very little.

Guo: Look, the word "bian" is a word, and the word "best" is "the best". I pronounce this word "the most", what do you pronounce?

Yu: I miss it.

Guo: Look!

Yu: Cough!

Guo: Did you say it?

Yu: You don’t have that.

Guo: I read it the most, you read it?

Yu: Me, you read it!

Guo: You are such a vulgar person.

He: That’s right.

Yu: You hooked up with me!

He: Indeed, that’s not the case. Even what he said is unbelievable.

Guo: Because this is what we originally said about his wife.

Li: Who said that?

He: He remembered it and put it on me. There is no such thing. Look at my little appearance, ah, poke me like this.

Yu: Don’t stand up. It will be hard to sit down later.

He: (Sit down and hold Li Jing’s leg)

Li: Don’t hold it.

Guo: The child is acting lightly now.

Yu: This foot can’t reach the ground.

Guo: Who said you can’t reach the ground? Put him on the ground.

He: (My feet are on the ground, and my body can’t reach the chair.)

Guo: Look, look.

Yu: It’s hard for you to be a master, but you still talk about him!

Li: Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Guo: Aren’t I standing on tiptoes?

He: What I want to do is talk about them.

Guo: Yes, you talk about him (referring to Li Jing), and I will talk about him (referring to Yu Qian) later.

He: Why? You said I look so beautiful, I can. . .

Guo: Hey, don’t say this, it’s not credible.

He: That’s right,

Yu: Who do you want to marry?

Yes, who is a decent wife?

He: I am just saying, what I mean is that his wife is not as good as my wife.

Li: What’s wrong?

He: What’s worse, there’s something wrong with his wife.

Li: What’s wrong?

He: His wife’s eyesight is not good, she’s blind, she’s blind. Do you know she’s blind?

Li: What do you mean by this?

He: It’s night, I can’t see anything.

Li: Yes, you can see it during the day.

He: Vague.

Guo: You can’t be a thief.

Li: Yes.

He: His eyes are not good either. He is Qingtan.

Li: What is Qingtan?

He: It’s daytime in Qingtan, and you can’t see anything.

Guo: Hey, hey, Xiaowei, Xiaowei, let me ask, do they know what each other looks like? One is invisible in the daytime, and the other is invisible in the dark.

Li: Neither of us can see the other one day?

Yu: These two have been married for more than ten years and neither of them has seen each other.

Guo: Always fresh!

Yu: Distance creates beauty.

Guo: Yes, yes, yes.

Li: Are you still talking about it?

Guo: I’m very happy!

He: This is also a clever thing.

Guo: This is nonsense. I explained it, but the child said it was nonsense, impossible, impossible, no, no.

Li: He still understands.

Guo: He calls him uncle, (referring to Yun Wei and Li Jing)

Yu: Yes, they are stingy.

Guo: My little aunt is not like what he said. Her eyes are like this. If she were like this, Brother Qian'er couldn't have her in the first place. Do you understand?

Yu, Li: Just wait for a while!

Li: Why is this so messy?

He: It’s complicated, the relationship is complicated!

Guo: Wasn’t that your original girlfriend, but didn’t she fall in love with him later? Did you forget that you still took 30 yuan from me?

He: Is there still such a thing?

Li: These people are so stubborn.

Yu: It’s okay, don’t do that, don’t do that, she might not be able to remember me, that look in her eyes.

Guo: Let me introduce you to Li Jing’s wife.

Li: Can’t live without my wife?

Guo: Who are you talking about? Who are you talking about? Right?

Li: It’s not appropriate to say that I am too.

Guo: You want to say that Xu Deliang’s wife is not suitable.

Li: Appropriate.

Guo: Inappropriate, inappropriate.

Yu: Let’s talk about Xu Deliang,

Guo: It’s not easy to follow him through wind and rain for so many years, right?

Yu: Of course, it’s not easy.

Guo: We haven’t fought over money, nor over reputation. Although we have a bit of a bad style,

Yu: No, right?

Guo: Huh?

Yu: No?

Guo: Who said no? Let’s just say this, generally speaking, this person is okay, not bad.

Yu: Do you think people with bad styles are OK?

Guo: You are so good! Great!

Yu: You’re welcome, you’re welcome.

He: Hahaha, you are so polite!

Guo: No shame or shame. To be honest, these old gentlemen backstage, it’s not easy for them to have such an opportunity to talk about it today.

Li: Isn’t it?

Guo: It’s not easy. Mr. Xing, Mr. Li, Mr. Wang Wenlin, Mr. Zhang Wenshun, Mr. Zhang did not come today. I originally wanted to invite Mr. Zhang over today. Mr. Zhang’s right vocal cord is paralyzed, making him mute and unable to speak.

Yu: The closure is not good.

Guo: I said come on, let’s sing the opening song "Fa Si Xi'er" together. (Hoarse voice) "How can I sing like this?" I said you should open your mouth together, He didn't recognize his head. He was afraid that others would suddenly become silent and leave him alone.

Li: The old man is also a thief.

Yu: I thought we in Deyun Society were all so bad.

Guo: I am the most affectionate with Mr. Zhang. Mr. Zhang Wenshun is the master of Xu Deliang and Zhang Dewu.

Yu: Yes.

Guo: He is Gao Feng’s adoptive father.

Yu: Yes, godfather.

Guo: Hey, yes!

Yu, Li: Don’t agree!

Guo: Gao Feng is the godson of Mr. Zhang Wenshun.

Yu: Yes, what did I promise? !

Guo: You took advantage.

Yu: Am I still taking advantage?

Guo: This is boring.

Yu: You’re welcome.

Guo: Gao Feng’s master is Mr. Fan Zhenyu, and his godfather is Mr. Zhang Wenshun. The look in your eyes is just like those two brothers.

Li: They both wear glasses.

Guo: Yes, the left eye follows Mr. Fan and the right eye follows Mr. Zhang.

Li: It’s not easy.

He: Gao Feng, Gao Feng’s eyes are not as good as him, (referring to Li Jing) his eyes are not as good as Gao Feng’s.

Li: He is highly myopic.

He: But he rarely wears glasses on stage, almost never at all.

Yu: I hit the microphone last time.

He: Right, the stage is beautiful. Wasn't it two days ago that Gaofeng had a car accident?

Guo: Huh? Is there such a good thing?

He: I was hit by someone, I was hit by someone. A car, click, hit!

Yu: Don’t be so painful.

He: After cashing in the money, the police will come right away. Ask, "Hey, what car hit you?" (Ma Sanli's voice) "I didn't see it, I didn't see it."

Li: Is that the sound?

He: Where is the license plate number? I didn’t see it.

Guo: I can’t see it with this look.

He: I didn’t see it. What color is that car? Didn’t see it, didn’t see it!

Guo: This look is too bad.

He: What did you see? I saw the driver. She was a woman. She was quite beautiful. She wore a suspender belt and a suspender belt.

Guo: Even if you kill him, it won’t be too much!

He: My eyes are not good.

Li: Isn’t it good? See clearly enough!

Guo: He also knows what to look at.

He: Four, he didn’t see the three of them.

Guo: OK, OK, OK. . .

Yu: I see, I haven’t told you everything yet, but there is still a pimple on my back.

He: Did you see it too?

Yu: I didn’t see it!

Guo: He sat next to the woman.

He: The eyes are just not good.

Guo: That’s true. There is also Mr. Wang Wenlin. Mr. Wang is a very interesting old man backstage. He is easy-going and has never said that Mr. Wang is anxious.

Yu: No.

Guo: I have a good time with everyone. You also know the saying, "It's a bit interesting, it's a bit interesting."

Yu: I always say this.

Guo: This is Mr. Wang. The old man was very happy all day long. His father is Mr. Wang Changyou, his master is Mr. Liu Baorui, and his father-in-law is Mr. Wang Shichen. The three great swordsmen have trained such an old artist. After a lifetime of hard work, it is said that you can reach the fourth level, right now?

He: Got.

Huh? After all these years, have you been in four stages?

Li: There is really recognition there.

Guo: You can’t say that to the old man.

Yu: (Referring to De Gang) He can say that.

Guo: I can say that. Take me to the ditch!

Yu: You have to say it even if I don’t say it.

Guo: There is also Mr. Li Wenshan. Mr. Li is a disciple of Mr. Wang Shichen. He is very good at cross talk. Moreover, the most commendable thing about the old man is that he lives too far away. Mr. Li Wenshan lives in Yangfang. We all know Yangfang Shabu Shabu,

Yu: It’s at the main store.

Guo: Hey, he is from Yangfang Shabu Shabu. The place one stop away from their home is called Zhangjiakou. So it is really not easy for the old man to come to Beijing.

Yu: Yes.

Guo: Every time he comes to perform, he comes under the pretext of traveling.

Yu: Well, let’s get a team together.

Guo: One-day trip to Beijing. Later, we also advised him to buy an apartment in the city. By the way, something happened when buying a house.

Yu: What happened?

Guo: There is a second-hand apartment in Zhongguancun, more than 130 square meters. He bought it for two thousand yuan per square meter.

Guo: Two thousand yuan, this is unbelievable. Li Wenshan bought a house in Zhongguancun for two thousand yuan per square meter. After he moved in, the neighbors were all pointing behind his back when he came out. Point, (to make Xiang'er)

Yu: There's something going on, there's something happening in between.

Guo: "It's interesting!"

Yu: Where did Wang Wenlin point out his love? (The four of them gave guidance together)

Guo: Aren’t others allowed to say it? Everyone knows that Mr. Li is someone who doesn't want to get involved in things, but he always says that he is also puzzled and asks his neighbors: "What's going on?"

He: Take it to heart.

Guo: "Why do you keep talking about me?" There was this quick-tongued one, "I'm telling you, you were deceived when you bought this house. Something happened to this house. It's a haunted house. It's said that the couple turned out to be a murderer. Later, the husband became insane and chopped up his wife with a knife. After chopping up, he mixed cement into the wall. " Mr. Li was very determined to kill himself when he heard this. He went back to the house and sat there to look at where he was. Even the children's walls are afraid.

Yu: This is so embarrassing.

Guo: "It looks like it's going to bleed. It's going to bleed on every wall." People, the end of fear is anger.

Yu: Yes, urgent.

Guo: I started to be scared, almost scared, "I will fight with you!"

Yu: How to fight this?

Guo: I dug into the wall like this, hit it with a hammer, and looked for it. Let me see if there is anyone here. Boom, boom, boom, boom, bang, bang, hit, there is an eye in the wall. ,

Yu: Something really came out?

Guo: Li Wenshan is so stupid, he has one eye. Suddenly the eyes turned into mouths, and they were still talking, "Why did you smash the wall of our house?"

Li: Did you smash it all?

Guo: I just listened to what they said. I don’t know whether it’s true or not.

Yu: Is that what you said without knowing whether it’s true or not?

Guo: Let me have a good time after I finish speaking. Pure nonsense. Let your uncle Qian'er tell you.

Yu: I won’t tell, you tell me.

Guo: Look, just now, he didn’t say a whole word.

He and Li: Yes, yes, let him say it.

Yu: I talk a lot.

Guo: Say goodbye, say a few words.

He: Say a few words.

Li: Say a few words.

(The audience applauds)

Guo: Look, these people ask you to say a few words and listen.

Yu: Do you think there are any good people left in your mouth? I don't want to offend this guy.

Guo: I am here.

Yu: I will unpack this baggage for you.

Guo: Stop talking nonsense. It’s not okay for you to just pick up the fun.

Yu: To offend someone.

Guo: With me here, are you still afraid of offending others when you are next to me? It's okay, it doesn't matter, tell someone else.

Yu: Let me tell you about Yang Zhigang and Wang Yang.

Guo: (Take Brother Qian off the stage)

Li: Okay, audience friends, this episode of "Qiang Qiang Four" will be broadcast here for everyone, and it will be the same next week Time

He: Play again.

Li: I’ll see you in court then!

He: That’s it?

The following is the website of the sketch script: