The daughter-in-law quarreled with her mother for three days, and it was very painful to be caught in the middle. How to deal with their relationship?

First of all, my mother-in-law is not her real mother. This sentence still has some basis. You can make fun of your mother and say anything, but sometimes my mother-in-law still can't say anything because you are not her daughter and your daughter-in-law is her daughter-in-law. I just want to remember that my mother-in-law is also a mother. After all, she is an elder. Old people like to nag. If she has a point, you can listen. You ignore her, you go in and out. She said you wouldn't lose a pound of meat. If you really can't stand it, just go alone. There is no need to argue with her. Even if she nags again, she can nag you for many years. It is said that there is a family, and old people need patience as much as children. As a husband, a daughter-in-law is her own daughter-in-law. If you want to feel the pain yourself, she can leave her parents who gave birth to her and raised her for more than 20 years for you, and go back to that strange home with you and live with you. You can communicate with your mother. She also upgraded from a daughter-in-law to a mother-in-law. I believe that as long as it is not unreasonable, she will still understand.

The easiest way is not to live together, live separately and eat together once a week. So is our family. My mother-in-law is very strong and likes to take care of everything. She likes the whole family to listen to her arrangement. I am impatient and outspoken. But my mother-in-law is old, and I'm afraid her husband is embarrassed. She usually says everything in front of her mother-in-law. Okay, okay, okay. When it's just me and my husband, I'll talk to my husband. Last year, I got pregnant. Because of the escalation of contradictions, my husband was afraid that my mother-in-law and I would quarrel and proposed to move out. Not too far. Walking for 20 minutes is also convenient for him to take care of his parents, and we also have our own living space. Then eat once or twice a week and don't see each other often. There are almost no special contradictions after that, even if sometimes the mother-in-law doesn't. After all, you can't affect the relationship between husband and wife because of your mother-in-law

Thank you for inviting me. First of all, I really want a mother-in-law I heard from my husband that my mother-in-law is very nice, and I also believe her husband, because her mother-in-law is the kind of educated and knowledgeable woman.

Although my mother-in-law is gone, to be honest, I also like me very much. My mother-in-law regards me as her own mother. It's an old man, a respected mother.

So I haven't touched this kind of thing. I suggest two solutions. First, deal with it. First of all, you understand why your wife is like this. Is strength just a character? Can't be unreasonable? ! Communication, by the way, can also deeply understand the daily life of daughter-in-law, understand the root causes, and communicate well. It's the same with your mother, alone. Communicate problems and know how to give solutions.

Second, because some people really have no effect on how to understand. We can only live separately and avoid being together. It will be better. I have met many people, too. I have family problems. I also persuaded them and got to know them, including their personalities. In fact, I am very willing to really solve their problems, but some of them really don't make sense, and the personality problems are a bit scary.

So the above two personal suggestions.

I wish your family a happy and harmonious life.

This is very simple, the most important thing is to look at emotional intelligence, praise your daughter-in-law hard in front of your mother, and praise your mother hard in front of your daughter-in-law

Buy food. If you buy a dish that your mother likes, say that your daughter-in-law bought it specially. If you buy a dish that your daughter-in-law likes, say that your mother bought it specially. The most important thing is cooperation between the two sides.

In addition, the quarrel between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is also being staged.

The first stage is confinement.

This stage is the most frequent time for quarrels. First, the daughter-in-law is a new mother and is not familiar with how to take care of the children. In addition, the physical changes after giving birth will make her temper worse.

Second, the differences in parenting concepts between the two generations have caused contradictions.

Third, my mother suddenly came to take care of the newborn, and she was not used to the sudden change of lifestyle.

Therefore, at this time, the husband had better play the role of double-sided tape, be reasonable when things happen, and then appease his wife and mother afterwards. Although it is hard, it must be treated in special periods.

The second stage is three months after the child, the running-in period between the wife and the mother has passed, the child grows up slowly, and the wife herself is not so tired and goes to work. This time will be relatively easy.

What a husband should do is to share the burden of his wife and mother as much as possible. At home, he can shoulder the responsibility of being a father, play with his children, chat with his mother, and relieve her long-term discomfort here.

No mother-in-law, no contradictions and problems. What we have to do is to make these contradictions and problems adjustable.

In addition, I want to understand that my wife and mother, because of themselves, have a certain relationship and contact.

A mother can't treat her daughter-in-law as a daughter, nor can a wife really treat her mother-in-law as a mother. As long as we respect and tolerate each other, this is a good mother-in-law relationship.

Of course, it is understandable that their mother and their wife don't get along. I think the best way is not to live together. Meet at the weekend or go back to see my mother on holiday, so that the relationship may be eased.

Then if you really want to live together, you can only talk more and do whatever you can at home. Try to be fair when dealing with their affairs. Don't be too partial when telling the truth, of course, you must be tactful. As long as your mother is not out of line, you and your wife should forgive me more. After all, the old man has developed many habits all his life and can't ask her to change.

In fact, you are the husband who can solve family problems best.

Why do you say that? There are the following four points:

You are the pillar of the family and the backbone of a family. As the old saying goes, you are the head of the family and have enough say. From your description, it is very painful to be trapped between your mother and your daughter-in-law. This is your lack of ability to solve problems, which makes this family fall into endless peace. In fact, you have a great responsibility.

You are the bond between two people, and the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is also because of you that they get to know each other and live together. The key point of the problem lies in what you do and how to do it. The biggest reason is your inaction.

A nagging mother is actually a worrying person. If she doesn't like it, she should point it out and correct it. There's nothing wrong with that. Only the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have disputes, mainly because they can't communicate well and talk to themselves, no matter whether others like it or not.

I analyze that when you were unmarried, your family was single, and you and your father lived a life that others thought by relying on your mother's diligence and eventfulness. I've seen many families like you. My mother is in charge at home, and she is in charge. My father is timid and weak, and his expression ability is poor, which makes my mother strong, unwilling to see anything, and dare to say and do it.

In fact, such a mother has the ability to make her family get ahead, but there is no good way to guide her, and her education and knowledge are shallow, which leads to verbosity.

You should thank your mother. Although the old people love to be wordy, if you think about it carefully, which one is deliberately picky behind the wordiness is actually for the sake of this family and for your own good.

Daughter-in-law is impatient and competitive. An outspoken person has a bad personality, because he can't calmly analyze things and let himself fall into emotional excitement. Such people are the most impulsive and unable to take on heavy responsibilities.

People who speak straight and speak fast, but can't hide things in their hearts, are the most likely to hurt people, because they will not be tactful if they are too straight, and they always judge others according to their own preferences, regardless of whether they are comfortable or not, which is not desirable. Too self!

The mother's personality is the same type, and when they meet, they point at each other, indicating that both of them are sharp, but they do not give in to each other. Such contradictions will naturally arise.

People who can't bow their heads can't get results no matter how noisy they are. You can't mediate their problems. In fact, it is not clear at a glance who is right or wrong, and your attitude and views on this noisy matter.

You can communicate with your daughter-in-law in private. Mother should point out the good side in front of her daughter-in-law and always respect the elderly. Daughter-in-law is wrong, but also in front of my mother, say more good things about daughter-in-law for my mother to listen to. This daughter-in-law didn't find it for nothing. It's good for her son. People say that "muddling along" is the skill of sons and husbands, and those who can muddle along will be called people. That's what you lack. Don't say good things at both ends, but be able to "coax".

In a family, weak men and strong women will lose their true colors. In your family, although you are the son of your mother, in the eyes of the elderly, you are spoiled and raised. If you don't talk at home, you will feel inferior, you will be weak, and you can't help it. You will always encounter a quarrel between your mother-in-law and your daughter-in-law. Because it is wrong for you to help anyone, because you have no position and will not calm things down.

1, you can try to make a sound at home and impress them with momentum and language.

A good and harmonious family is the result of a family's business together, not who is strong and who is in charge. The present situation of your family is also caused by your men's inaction.

You should try to change this situation.

No matter how powerful your mother and daughter-in-law are, it depends on how important you are in this family and your attitude. If you are the same as before, such noisy days will only intensify, not decrease.

3, a center, two kinds of preparation

Therefore, on the one hand, we should "muddle along", on the other hand, we should strengthen our self-cultivation and make ourselves strong. Persuading people by reasoning is the most convincing, depending on whether you dare to break this situation.

I wish you happiness!

Let's talk about the personality analysis of your mother and daughter-in-law: your mother is wordy, and she always likes to take care of big and small things at home. As long as she doesn't like it, she will be wordy, while your daughter-in-law is quick-tempered, strong and outspoken.

A nagging mother-in-law and a competitive daughter-in-law are incompatible. How can they live in peace?

Personally, I think the only solution is that it would be better to live separately. It may be a little difficult to separate mom, but it can reduce mutual "friction" You can usually bring your daughter-in-law back to visit your mother, so that there will be no more contradictions if you have less contact (even if there were contradictions before, I believe time will be diluted)

I hope that personal understanding will not bring you a bad mood.

The mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have been natural enemies since ancient times. If you live with your parents, of course, there will be frequent wars. If you are caught in the middle, it will definitely be uncomfortable.

1, live separately from parents.

Distance produces beauty, which also applies to family ties. Every day together, it is inevitable to bump into each other. Besides, your mother is a nag, and your daughter-in-law is also very strong. How can there be no contradiction? Live separately, live separately, and visit often if you need help.

You should make a reasonable judgment on your mother's difficulties and behavior in front of your daughter-in-law.

My mother knows that there is a generation gap between young people and old people. So, first, don't praise your mother; Second, don't make your mother useless. Parents' love will never be adulterated, but the ways and means may not be suitable for young people. Speak clearly and clearly, I believe there will be no more daughter-in-law to get in the way and lead to contradictions.

Leave being a good person to your wife.

On holidays, birthday parties, buying meat and delivering vegetables. You guide and give all the money to your daughter-in-law. Put in a good word in front of your parents, explain your daughter-in-law's character to them and let them put it down as soon as possible.

4. Give your daughter-in-law face in front of your parents and leave yourself a way out.

One family does not say two, but the use of the house between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should be consistent. There are some trivial things between husband and wife Never criticize your daughter-in-law in front of your parents, let alone besiege her. Doing so will not help, but will bring more trouble. Even if the daughter-in-law sues herself to her parents, she tries to keep quiet and roll with the punches.

1, try to handle things well at home and don't let parents worry.

2. Advise parents to try to avoid accusations and complaints about their daughter-in-law.

You should treat both parents equally as far as possible, and don't be too partial.

4, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, emotional, sensible, never add fuel to the fire.

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Every family has a difficult experience, especially the experience of mother-in-law. As a middleman, we should be good at building feelings and brewing family ties. You'd rather hide it on both sides than spread it on both sides. Marriage is not easy, parents are not easy, and family harmony is the most rare.

The quarrel between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not a case. Many families have this phenomenon.

There are generally two reasons.

First: it is phased. In the first few years of marriage. When my son got married, all his attention turned to his wife. The mother felt lost and her son was taken away by a woman. This woman is a daughter-in-law I feel wronged and always look down on my daughter-in-law. Conflicts will naturally arise. The daughter-in-law feels that she is the real master of this family and does not show weakness. I think this situation is temporary. It only takes a year or two to run in.

Second: long-term, including the first situation and personality factors. The two sides have different personalities and different views! The mother-in-law is strong. Daughter-in-law is not a fuel-efficient lamp. No compromise!

But in any case, as a son and a husband, you can't sit idly by. If you love your mother and your wife, you should analyze the reasons and see where the problem lies. Specific communication is also your responsibility and obligation. So what should we do?

When we are both sons and husbands, under these circumstances, we have an argument with two people we both love. What should we do?

First: play the emotional card.

First of all, sit down and say to your mother: solemnly emphasize that you and your wife have a good relationship, and it is really not easy for your marriage to come to this day! In fact, she is very kind to you as a parent: she always says you are not easy. Tell me I can't ignore you. You should be nice to her. She married our family. Separated from her relatives. If we don't treat her well, no one will. Looking back, we should also communicate well with our wives: we are the younger generation, and we should respect the elderly. We need a lot! Let it all go, mom! After all, it is not easy for the elderly, so we should understand more and care less. As long as the relationship between the two couples is good, any problem can be solved!

Second: no favoritism.

The quarrel between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, as a son and husband, must not protect either side in public, which will make things extremely bad. All this is public. None of them are wrong. If you are partial to your mother, your wife will feel uncomfortable and unbalanced when she is wronged! Just like adding fuel to the fire! Favoring his wife, my mother refused: I really married my daughter-in-law and forgot my mother! A baiwenhang! Old people are very sensitive. In this way, he will send more resentment to his wife. Make things more complicated!

Third: Never use it as a nanny. Be sure to have your own position! If the communication effect between yourself and your mother is not obvious, just show your attitude directly to your mother: this will not work! You should consider my feelings as a mother. We are so close that we can't get divorced because of your trifle. Of course you don't want us to divorce. If you really can't understand and tolerate each other, then we have to move out. A son is everything to a mother! When you take a stand, as a mother, you don't care about your son. Serious consequences are not what she wants to see! She will take a step back and make some changes. There are also some mothers who bully the weak and fear the hard because of their life experiences. If you stand firm, she will have scruples and will be restrained!

Fourth: then move out. If after a lot of efforts, it still doesn't work, moving out for a while is also a good choice. Moving out is not the purpose. It is to leave a space for calm reflection for both sides! During this time, you can also try to adjust the misunderstanding between them! The fragrance is far away, and the taste is near. Distance makes beauty!

A family needs a balanced relationship, and as a son and husband, you are an indispensable bridge. As men, we must be careful. Find small problems in time and communicate in time. Be patient, solving this problem is a long-term work!