A cold joke that laughs in minutes.

I'm good at biology, so I'm going to tell you a cold lesson here. There is a creature with strong arms, sharp nails and sharp teeth, which can tear up all solids. That's the woman who unpacked the courier.

I'm not bragging. When I was at my peak, a photo, a few.

Ten people chased me. Unfortunately, it didn't last long. I was soon caught stealing pictures, and that guy scolded me!

I have no money. But don't call me poor, call me a price-sensitive consumer; I am fat, but don't call me fat, please call me fluffy human!

The hen complained to the bull, "Humans always make me lay more eggs. Too tired, unfair! " "The old cow said," you fart! They let people all over the world drink my wife's milk, and no one has ever called me dad! "

5. This month's salary

4000, rent, utilities and so on

1500。 Looking at the rest of the money, I want to improve the food. Go to the vegetable market to see live chickens.

Thirteen. pork

three

Verb (abbreviation of verb) beef

60, eggs are all.

Six dollars. Well, I know life is not easy, but it's too difficult for you!

6. The company decided to go on a business trip today. The leader gave me a special performance before going out: Xiao Wang, thanks to your frequent lateness, we have the funds for this activity. I thank you for everyone!

Every time I see a couple, I will carve their names and each other's names on the tree. I will fall into deep meditation: why do so many people go out with knives?

8. in the morning. one

five

The six-year-old girl hugged my thigh and cried, Uncle, marry me! I was in a mess when I suddenly heard a voice behind me saying, even if you get married, you have to go to school today!

9. I thought I was also a schoolmaster. Later, I found that the world of scum was wonderful, so I planned to go in and have a look. Who knows that you can never come back after you go in!

10. It snowed heavily yesterday. When I braked at the red light, the road skidded and I didn't stop the rear-end collision. Call 1 10 quickly. The police arrived soon, skidded and chased the car. The policeman got off the bus and said, "Deal with yours first!" "

XI。 living

Three stages: first, the moonlight clan, which earns money by its own conditions, is called the defeat of heaven and earth;

The second kind, those who have lost themselves and started to eat their own money, is called.

Second, defeat Gaotang;

Third, when you are old, find a partner like yourself. It's called husband and wife failure.

Twelve. After divorce, we should also follow the process of marriage and flashback the order. Inform relatives and friends, pay back the money, get married by video car, go downstairs to find the mother-in-law, fire the gun, and finally carry the daughter-in-law up and return it to others. ......

Thirteen. My girlfriend wants to break up with me. In order to save this relationship, I sent her plain photo to my circle of friends. Sure enough, she not only contacted me actively, but also vowed to say to me, "I am not finished with you!" " "

14. I saw one in the supermarket.

Crabs tied with flowers from

18

9 yuan's freezer.

28

Climbing in 9 yuan's closet, tears streaming down her face, so self-motivated! Then I bought it before it crawled over. ...

15. When my cousin played Plants vs Zombies on the iPad, she did two things, collecting the sun and planting potatoes for zombies. She thinks this game is about raising zombies.

16. When I am unhappy, my father will give me money to go shopping, naively thinking that money will make me happy again! For this superficial behavior, I just want to say that dad knows me best!

17. My girlfriend was in a bad mood the other day. Suddenly she asked me, "Remember what I told you that time?" "Which time?" "You really don't remember, get out!"

18. In class, the math teacher wrote a blackboard problem solving process. When my hand was about to break, he drew a big cross on the blackboard and said, this solution is wrong! I'll ...

Nineteen. It takes 1 hour to sleep at night. Need to sleep when bored.

Thirty minutes. It takes 10 minutes to fall asleep while reading. Need to sleep at work

Five minutes. Turn off the alarm clock in the morning, and it only takes half a second to fall asleep as soon as you lie down!

two

With Tenuto, "I'm running.

Third, what should I do if I feel old? ""die at once, and then everyone will say that you left at a young age. "