Humorous text messages for boyfriends.

1. Special news: In the mobile phone life contest, from the moment on, the switch will automatically start the timer and continuously report the weather forecast, and the user who has been on for the longest time will get 100 minutes of free talk time.

2. The information on major cases in the market is scattered, and the Municipal Public Security Bureau cracked a major mobile phone smuggling case. Your mobile phone is one of the names involved. Please bring your ID card and mobile phone invoice to our bureau for investigation immediately.

3. Think of () when you are lost, and () when you are lonely. Having you is my endless happiness. You are my pursuit. You are the love of my life, but you left when I was down and out. Come back! Lovely RMB.

4. Urgent reminder: There may be lightning recently. When you go out, please put your mobile phone on your head, plug in the charger and drag it behind you for lightning protection. Remember.

5, eat very fat, very powerful, insert a pen, will not settle accounts, only pee at night!

6. Once upon a time, there were four monkeys. The first one was blindfolded. The second covered her mouth and stopped talking. The third one stopped listening. The fourth one smiled with a mobile phone!

You know, I was fascinated by you the first time I saw you. This is the happiness that God has given me. I don't want to leave. I've always wanted to say this: your zipper is open.

8. Please look down ... look down again, .........., please look down again ... Look at it when you see it, you idiot!

Whether the spring breeze is warm or not, the goose knows first. Whether the flowers are beautiful or not, the butterfly knows first. Cattle and sheep know whether the grassland is big or not. The years are not long, and the birthday is known first. There is not much happiness, and I am blessed with the prophet. I wish you happiness!

10, the spring breeze gently pushed open the window lattice, the stars shone in the atrium, the nightingale quietly passed the treetops, and the moon slowly circled the house. I am eager to drink your birthday wine. I wish you health and happiness forever!

Best wishes for a happy birthday!

12, thread in loving mother's hand, making clothes for wayward boy's body. Before leaving, I had a stitch for fear that my son would come back late and his clothes would be damaged. Who can say that a filial child like the weak can repay his mother's love like the sunshine in spring? The familiar and touching poem made me burst into tears, and my mother was also worried about her son's trip, but I didn't know that her son would go home with a thousand thoughts. Happy birthday, mom!

13, when this day comes, you will be old; Cake reception, wish realization; What's the point of sending this message? The main purpose is to spread blessings and wish a peaceful and peaceful year and all your wishes come true!

14, waiting, just to meet you. The light from generate at this moment will light up your long life. I write endless thoughts and wishes for you on the blooming blue petals, wishing you a happy birthday!

15, light birthday candles and light the hope of happiness; Taste the birthday cake and taste the joy; Accept birthday wishes, accept good wishes: Happy birthday!

16, bid farewell to yesterday's wind, frost, rain and snow and welcome today's happy time; Light the red wax of birthday and keep good memories; Let go of all the injuries, put away all the tears and wish you a happy birthday!

17, the vast starry sky, flashing a little fluorescence; Every ray of light carries a beautiful dream. May every wish you made today come true one by one. Happy birthday!

18, the gift of red wine should be opened by candlelight to be romantic, the gift of happiness should be opened by happiness, and the gift of birthday should be opened by blessing to be sweet. Happy birthday, dear.

19, it's raining lightly in the sky, which seems to laugh at my delusion. Why are you so selfish and cruel that I miss you? Rack one's brains to write a poem, full of sadness, who knows Only pig head and * * *, staring at the screen to see this poem.

Solve the riddle on the lantern: you stand with the pig. (Hit an animal) Answer: Elephant.

2 1, the other day I said you were a pig, and you said, "I am a pig." From then on, I called you a pig. Later, you finally couldn't stand it, yelling at me in front of many people, "I'm not a pig."

22. On this warm and romantic day, a little pig hides in the house and draws a ball, which is round. Happy round egg, pig!

23, every time the wind and rain are biting, I ask for your care, and I will send you food in times of famine. Your simple and honest expression excites me. In fact, raising a pig is quite fulfilling!

24, tea, drink strong, until the fragrance is particularly strong; It's hard to make it through hard work: people must have deep feelings and can't love again until the next life; Pig's trotters, fresh, hehe, this one with mice is not bad!

25. One day, Bajie asked the Tang Priest: Master, is this world really the ugliest for me? The Tang Priest turned pale and said, Ask Sister Guanyin! When Bajie came back from Guanyin, he asked cheerfully, Hehe, Master, who is XXX? Ha ha!

26. July 5th Prohibition: It is forbidden to pretend that you are busy with work and ignore me, forget me if you have money, help me if you are in trouble, and eat chocolate without calling me! Don't think about me when you are free! Hope to implement it seriously!

27. God didn't give pigs wisdom because he wanted them to be happy. So, you must be happy.

28. There are six kinds of pigs in the world. Those who are kept at home are called domestic pigs, those born in the mountains are called wild boars, those who look at blessings are called stupid pigs, those who laugh at them are called stupid pigs, those who ignore me are called dead pigs, and those who don't return my blessings are not as good as ~ ~

29. A blind man was riding a bicycle, and a lame man was sitting behind watching the road. Suddenly, the lame man found a deep ditch in front of him: ditch, ditch, ditch! Hearing this, the blind man sang back: Oh, joy, joy, joy. They fell into the ditch together.

30. A lady fell and the Prime Minister held her. "Sir, how can I thank you?" "Vote for me in the next general election." "But I hurt my knee, but my head is not bad."

3 1, a young man said to a friend: Every time I bring my girlfriend home, my mother doesn't like it. "All you have to do is find someone like your mother." "But then my father didn't like it."

32. A lady took a shower and was about to get a towel when she suddenly found a window cleaner seeing her. She was stunned. The man asked, what's wrong with you? Haven't you seen a window painter?

33. A man asked: Do you have a book called Men Should Be the Head of the Family? The salesgirl smiled and replied, Sorry, we don't sell fairy tales here.

34. A police officer asked why the criminal police followed the prisoner but let him escape. "I followed the prisoner until he entered the cinema. But I saw this movie last week. "

35. A teacher saw a student hand in a book and decided to find a word to teach him. Suddenly he saw a word "three" and scolded: I looked for you everywhere, but you were lying here sleeping in!

36. A director from a scaffolder was interviewed by a reporter. "Excuse me, what do you think authorities and scaffolders have in common?" "I want to continue climbing when I climb to a certain height."

37. An ungrateful girl wrote a letter to her lover asking for the dissolution of the relationship. Soon, she received a reply: "No. I am busy dating my girlfriend and have no time to think about it. "

38. A woman insisted on singing Argentina. Don't cry for me. At the end of the song, an old man wept silently. "Are you Argentine?" "No, I'm a music critic."

39. A lady got on the bus and said, Which handsome guy will give me his seat? Five young people stood up at the same time.

A father said to his friend, "I can't imagine what my son can do. He is too unreliable. " His friend said, "Go to the meteorological station and make a weather forecast!" " "

4 1, the tea should be strong enough to have a particularly good fragrance; It's hard to make it through hard work: people must have deep feelings and can't love again until the next life; Pig's trotters, fresh, hehe this one with mice is not bad.

42. I feel uncomfortable eating cold drinks today. Come out, I can't hold on. Only by staying in the bathroom for a long time can you find your weight in your heart. Actually, you are in such a hurry. Tell the person knocking at the door. Why are you so shy and texting? You see, it took nearly a minute to read your message and nearly three minutes to reply. ]

43. Rereading those letters you wrote to me today, I not only thought of many articles in the world, but also found many men in the world. what do you reckon ? I feel insulted by you. what do you think? ]

44. The leader said he would give me a promotion and a raise next month. I want to celebrate. Are you free tonight? At that time, I will wear the red skirt I just bought today. [All rectification. That's what your leader tells you every time he wants to rip me off with your colleagues. ]

45. Every time it rains heavily, I ask you to be caring and attentive, and I'll send you food in times of famine. Your simple and honest expression excites me. In fact, raising a pig is quite fulfilling.

46. I called you a pig the other day, and you said, "I am a pig." From then on, I called you a pig. Later, you finally couldn't stand it, yelling at me in front of many people, "I'm not a pig."

47. Men invented love, women invented marriage, and I invented you. You took advantage of me. ]

48. Do you know? Doing bad things is called bad people, empty heads are called idiots, firing people is called getting out, and alas, it is called finished. Give me another kind of egg ~ the idiot who is reading the text message!

49, you think it is: handsome, cool, it is impossible to compare! In fact, it is: awesome, cool, and scared when you look back! !

50. When you walk on a single-plank bridge, you find a tiger in front and a wolf behind. How did you get there? I passed out.

5 1, mouth like a steamed stuffed bun, teeth like a knife, yellow hair, swollen, walking like a duck, talking like a mule, beautiful chicken feet, crouching like a tiger, looks really bad ~!

52, reverse irony children hungry silly, reverse leather shoes hungry to play, reverse Hami hungry, reverse poor hungry silly (you are the wind, I am sand, you are leather shoes, I am a brush, you are Hami, I am a melon, you ignore me, I commit suicide) Shaanxi version.

53. You are so elegant and charming. No wonder everyone says you are ... bloated!

54, you eat yours, I eat yours, you don't eat mine, I only eat yours, eat yours, you go! Jingpianzi

55. Your phone bill balance is less than 0. 1 yuan. Please pay the phone bill in the near future: sell children, women, rice, iron, houses, land and wives!

56. Your mobile phone has been infected with HIV. For the sake of safety, please wear a mask, gloves and condoms when using.

57. Hello, your good friend, I ordered a power train for you. Please hit your head on the washbasin. Did you hear "when"? Ok, the song list is over!

58. You broke my heart! Now smash the car, jump into the river and touch the switch as soon as you go out! Jingpianzi

59. Do you want to have good teeth? Here are three lessons for you: first, rinse your mouth after meals and brush your teeth in the morning and evening; Second, go to the hospital for a dental examination every two years; Third, mind your own business.

Unfortunately for you, anyone who can receive this message is a parallel mobile phone. If it is used for a long time, the consequences will be unimaginable. Please replace it immediately.

6 1, Girl: My soul has never come out since I saw you. Otherwise, we will go out and have a single child while it is dark, and it will be boring directly! Jingpianzi

62, stay down! Does Nong really love Wu? Didn't clear the bar now! Five details are lost! ! ! ! (you say! Do you love me? If you don't make it clear today, I'll show you! ) Shanghai edition

63, stay down! Does Nong really love Wu? Didn't clear the bar now! Five details are lost! ! ! ! (you say! Do you love me or not? If you don't make it clear today, I'll show you! )

Finishing: zhl20 16 12