Classic joke 10

A rich woman was walking down the street with her dog. She met a beggar on the road and was bent on mocking her. So he said to the beggar, "You call me dad, and I will give you 100 yuan." Then, the beggar called dad to the rich woman's dog. The rich woman immediately gave him 100 yuan. The beggar took the money and said to the rich woman, "thank you, mom!" " "

A man keeps a pig, feels bored and is ready to abandon it. However, the pig knew the way home and failed several times. One day, the man abandoned the pig and called his wife that night: "Did the pig go back?" Wife: "I came back early!" " "The man shouted," put it on the phone, I'm lost! " "

One afternoon, my classmate was bored working in China Construction Bank. A poorly dressed lady (a psychopath) came to his window and gave him a note asking him to withdraw money. The note impressively reads "I hereby send Comrade XX to your bank to withdraw RMB". Then there are more than n zeros after the L, and the signature is * * * C.P Central Office * * *.

My classmate wanted to call the police, but seeing that the woman with mental illness is very serious, I think I'd better call security. (~ It is estimated that the security guards are also very idle. Sure enough, the security guard said to the woman, "If you want to withdraw money from this note, you must first go to the opposite police station to find the director's seal. After he seals it, you can come back and withdraw money. "

The woman walked directly to the police station without thinking. This security guard is really unusual. Usually underestimate him a little.

About ten minutes later, the number of customers in line slowly increased, and the woman came back happily, holding a note in her hand and saying, "People say that the procedures are simplified and you can withdraw money directly without the approval of the director."

When my classmate heard this, he couldn't help but sigh that the ol.ice team really had experts and sent them back with a "high profile".

My classmate and the security guard were both a little stupid at that time. There are many people in the business hall. I was afraid that her mental illness would affect the normal order, so I had to call the supervisor on duty. The supervisor talked with the female patient and asked what you were doing with the money. The female patient said, "Take money to sell bread, cakes, food and clothes." The supervisor pointed to a place not far away, and the woman left happily again. The security guard went to consult the "ingenious plan", and the supervisor said to the female patient at that time: "We are CCB here, and only by building a house can we withdraw money here. If you take money to buy vegetables, it must be vegetables. You have to go to the Agricultural Bank to buy clothes or something, and you have to go to ICBC to withdraw money! "

My classmates really admire you. After all, you are in charge! ! ! !

After a while, the lady came back with a reply from ICBC: "The people at ABC said that this is ABC, and only farmers can withdraw money. I am an urban population. ICBC people say that we are a public bank here. Only the public can take it, but the mother can't! " ! ! ! Call me a bitch and go to China Construction Bank to withdraw money. "

My classmate, security guard, supervisor, dizzy .......

Cobra is nearsighted. After the first date with the elephant, she said to the elephant's nose, "Come when you come and bring the pig." That's very kind of you! "

Many people are watching the traffic accident, but reporters can't squeeze in. He had a brainwave and shouted: I am the son of the injured, please get out of the way! The onlookers quickly get out of the way. When the reporter saw it, it was a donkey that was crushed to death.

Teacher: "How to tell the difference between octopus's hands and feet?" Student: "Give it a fart and smell it. It's the hands that cover your nose, and the rest are your feet."

Mouse: I'm in love with bats now, and the children will live in the air from now on, not afraid of your cat. The cat sneered, pointed to the owl in the tree and said, look, she is pregnant with my child!

Four priests Tang went to travel by plane, and the plane crashed on the way, but there were only three parachutes.

So, the Tang Priest said, let's answer the question, and jump if we can't answer it.

Tang Priest: Wukong, how many suns are there in the sky?

Wukong: One.

Tang Priest: OK, here you are.

Tang Priest: Friar Sand, how many moons are there in the sky?

Friar Sand: One.

Tang Priest: OK, I'll give you one, too.

Bajie on the side is so happy, such a simple question.

Tang Priest: Bajie, how many stars are there in the sky?

Bajie jumped down.

Before long, the four of them flew to travel again. They crashed on the way and there were still only three parachutes.

They went on answering questions.

Tang Priest: Wukong, when was People's Republic of China (PRC) founded?

Wukong: 1949.

Tang Priest: OK. Here you are.

Tang Priest: Friar Sand, how many people died in the Liberation War?

Friar Sand: 2.5 million people.

Tang Priest: OK, I'll give you one, too.

Tang Priest: Bajie, what are the names of those 2.5 million people? Bajie had to jump again.

The third time, the four of them traveled by plane again and had an accident on the way.

Then Pig said, Master, you don't have to ask. I jump by myself.

Then jump.

Tang Priest put his hands together: Amitabha, there are four parachutes this time.