Humorous jokes about children surfing the Internet at home.

My daughter is studying in a middle school. The dean said to all the students at the meeting: "The students in our school can say that they don't close the door at night!"

It's rare to hear the dean say a good word, and the students all beamed.

The dean went on to say: "I said that if you don't pick up the scraps of paper on the ground, you won't think of picking them up." When you don't close the door at night, I mean you don't want to close the classroom window before you go home from school. "

be late

Freshmen in our law school are often late because they are not familiar with the location of the classroom. A professor was particularly dissatisfied with the students' lateness and said that he would not accept any reasons. One morning, a classmate was late again. We were all worried about him.

The professor was obviously unhappy and asked his classmates why they were late.

"I'll queue up to buy your new textbook," she replied trembling.

Hearing this, the professor turned to the other students in the class and asked, "Then why aren't you late?"

announce

In order to make my daughter understand the importance of thrift and reduce unnecessary expenses, I asked her to record her pocket money every month. One day, at the time of bookkeeping, she said to me, "Mom, since you asked me to keep this record, I always have to think it over before I buy something."

I was very happy when she added, "I won't buy anything with a difficult name."

Call father

My cousin is three years old. One day, his father watered the flowers in the backyard and told him, "If anyone comes to see me, you should call dad." Soon, my cousin shouted "Dad" outside. His father ran out to meet the guests. The guests were puzzled and asked, "Why does this child keep calling me dad?"

help

An old lady was trudging along the road with two bags of things. I ran to help her deliver things to her home. When I arrived at her door, she held out her clenched hand and said to me, "Let's have a drink." Then she gave me something and went in. Later, I took a look in my hand and found it was a tea bag.

A sick parrot

My uncle's nagging parrot is ill and won't eat or drink. I took him to the vet, and after the examination, he said there was nothing wrong. The vet asked my uncle if there was any serious accident at home, which made the parrot very uneasy. My uncle said that the TV set had been repaired. "Get it back quickly," said the vet. Sure enough, as soon as the TV set was brought back, the parrot's appetite recovered.

gift

On my friend's birthday, I gave him a round inkstone with fine carving and high quality. A few days later, he praised my gift. "I use it every day," he said. "It was thoughtful of the manufacturer to cover the ashtray."

Beautiful daughter

I saw an unusually beautiful two-year-old child in the supermarket. I can't help telling his father that he is lucky to have such a beautiful daughter. He smiled smugly, thanked me and left. Soon, I heard him say to the child from a distance, "Son, it's time to cut your hair."

school regulations

College girls protested to the school: "Why do the girls' dormitories close at 0: 30 and the boys' dormitories close at 0: 00/1?" The answer from the Academic Affairs Office made them leave with satisfaction: "Boys will send you back, of course, it will be half an hour late."

Earth home

An environmentalist was invited to give a speech at school. The first slide he showed was a photo of the earth taken by a satellite. The powerful narrative is: "The land that breeds all things, our home!" Suddenly a deep voice came from behind the dark auditorium: "Speak for yourself, earthlings!" " The speaker seems to have been hit with a sap.

Dialogue at the dinner party

When I was in college, I was admitted to join an engineering society. At the initiation dinner, my parents sat with the family of another new member. Her father is a scientist. In the conversation, he strongly praised those who worked hard, and said that no pains, no gains, etc. "If these children don't study hard today, they will have to refuel at the bus stop in the future." Then he asked my father's occupation. After a while, my father said, "I run a gas station."

a letter

In college, my daily life is the same: class, self-study, work, and then sleep. One day, I received the following short message, only to find out how long I haven't written home.

Dear son:

Your mother and I were very happy when we received your last letter. Of course, we were much younger and more impressionable at that time.

father

misunderstand

Once a few foreigners came to China to play and happened to meet the Dragon Boat Festival, so they were taken to the river to watch dragon boat rowing and watch programs. After reading it, someone sent two stuffed jiaozi to foreigners to take home. A week later, foreigners wrote to thank them for their hospitality and said, "jiaozi with minced meat is delicious, but unfortunately, the lettuce is a little hard ...! "

Worship the elderly

At the beginning of school, the teacher asked all the children to design new year cards to commemorate the old age of the whole class. A child made a card with ingenuity, which read: "I wish you all happiness in your later years!" " "

Tong Yan tong Yu

In children's painting class, in order to stimulate preschool children's interest in painting, they often take the form of free play, and then let them explain the contents of painting one by one. So they are often forced to smile bitterly by children's childish words. One day, as an example, I asked Xiaowen, "What is this circle?" Xiaowen said, "It's an egg!" "Then why is there a diagonal line in the middle?" I asked Xiaowen, "That's because the eggs are going to break and the chickens are going to hatch!" " I asked inexplicably, "Why are eggs brown?" Xiaowen: "Because it is tea.

Answering questions is not for scoring. Just to get more friends to join us, I worked hard to help you search for answers online. If you don't see a satisfactory answer, please adopt my answer and support me. I hope my friends can understand each other.