Humorous jokes about men and women chatting.

Humor is an easy hotline to bring feelings closer. Like the spring breeze, it makes the communication between people full of fun and expresses your sincerity and warmth. I collected some humorous jokes about men and women chatting for you. Let's have a look.

Selected humorous jokes of men and women chatting.

1) M: Look at the label of a woman's shirt. Woman:? What are you doing? Man:? Wondering if you are a product of heaven. ?

2) Man: My wife is missing. Please help me find it! Policeman: What are her characteristics? Man: Not tall or fat, a little bald, with a big nose. Policeman: Then why are you looking for her?

3) A Shuang died, and his family held a funeral, crying his name: Shuang Shuang? Isn't that cool? Is it cool? Passers-by don't understand and ask, what are you doing? The cool family suddenly burst into tears: it's so cool!

4) Remember in high school, a buddy in the class quarreled with a girl? This is the background? The noisy girl shouted: I am your mother! The buddy paused and immediately said, Mom, I want to drink milk! Oh, the whole class is boiling and applauding!

5) I stayed up late with a girlfriend and bought two bottles of coke to drink on my way home. Idiot probably got mixed up on the internet. He shook the coke vigorously, unscrewed the lid and wrapped it in his mouth. Look at his mouth getting bigger and bigger, and the idiot won't let go. And then, and then I watched his nostrils start foaming?

6) I am a sister, with a lovely mother and a naughty father. One day, it rained and suddenly thundered, scaring my mother who had been afraid of thunder and lightning to scream, and my father hurried forward to comfort her. Honey, don't be afraid. I will protect you. ? I am so envious that I said to my father: Dad, I need protection, too, okay Dad said without looking back, it's enough for me to protect my wife. I don't care about other people's wives. ?

On a hot summer day, two bananas were walking on the road. The banana walking in front suddenly felt so hot. He said it was too hot. I want to take off my clothes. As a result, he skinned it. As a result, the banana in the back fell down. Then peeled bananas become dried bananas ~

One day, three explorers finally found the "Valley of Hope". According to legend, as long as you stand on the edge of the valley and shout out what you want, and then jump into the valley, you will get what you want. So the three of them decided to have a try. The first one was a goat, so he shouted "Woman! Woman! " The next jump is really full of beautiful women waiting for him. The second is a bookworm, shouting "book, book, book!" " Then, he jumped into the valley and got books full of pits and valleys. The third is an indecisive person. He can't decide what he likes best after careful consideration. After an hour, he finally made up his mind that money is the most useful thing, so he went to the edge of the valley. He accidentally kicked a stone and scolded, "Shit!" Unexpectedly, an unstable center of gravity fell into the valley.

9) Xiaoming, who will have an exam tomorrow, is watching TV at night. Xiaoming's mother asked anxiously, Have you read all the books? There will be an exam tomorrow. Xiao Ming replied brightly: Mom, I finished reading it. Xiao Ming's mother praised Xiao Ming happily: Good boy, then you must do well in the exam tomorrow. Xiao Ming cried and said, Mom, I mean, Mom, I think it's over? .

10) The panda loves the deer deeply, but it is rejected when expressing love. Panda roar ~ why? What's all this for? The deer said timidly, my mother said that those who wear sunglasses are all bad teenagers.

1 1) I had dinner with my friends and my husband and wife and brought my children. The child was very clever at the age of eight, and several women chatted again. Why do children wean so early, what are their experiences, and how do they keep fit? Child God interjected: "Dad smokes, and every time he eats milk, it smells like smoke!" " Make everyone stunned.

12) A younger sister wears makeup. Once she put on makeup for a young lady, and was about to put on lipstick or something after painting makeup and eyes. The lady said something I will never forget: I don't have to draw my mouth, I have to work.

13) We were out of breath when we ate the barbecue buffet, so several people shouted together. Boss, come on! ? The boss who is busy in the kitchen poked his head out and replied, thank you, I will try my best! ?

The man accosted a girl on the bus. ? You look like my ex-girlfriend? The woman bowed her head in shame and asked? So what? Why did you break up with her? Man:? Think she is ugly. ?

Classic humorous jokes about men and women chatting.

1) male:? May I ask you the way? Woman:? Where are you going? Man:? Into your heart. ?

2) My friend's face is sallow, and his hands are covering his stomach, which is extremely painful. Young man: Sister, is there a toilet here? Woman: Yes! Young man: How can I get there? I can't hold on any longer! Woman: Sit here, take two stops, and then get off. ......

3) Today, I sold bananas. I joked with my brother that when people came, you said bananas were cheap, not only edible, but also usable. After a while, two beautiful women came, but I didn't expect this idiot to really shout. Two tough beauties actually asked how to use it. We blushed and said, "Give it to them." . .

4) Just now, a beautiful woman in black silk came to wash her hair. After the assistant finished washing, I went forward to blow-dry my hair and habitually asked, "Is it curly down there?" She asked me, "Is your ass straight?"

5) My classmates asked me how many people died on the day of weeding. I replied, one is noon. She said no, it was three, because it was noon on the day of weeding, sweat dripped and soil fell.

6) I pretended to be sad that day and asked my buddy: Are you my best friend? -He:? What happened? Why do you ask? Me:? Tell me if you are. ? He:? Sure, what's wrong with you? Me:? But my father said that dogs are man's best friends. ?

7) A man had an affair and his wife sued the unit. The unit leader took her hand and said earnestly, as long as the barrel is still in our hands, what is it to waste some bullets? Besides, they are all your enemies.

8) My son is going to work in other places soon. The enlightened father said: If you are lonely, you can find a chicken, and I will reimburse you, but the invoice should say bird hunting. ? A month later, my father received the bill. Bird hunting fee? Father enlightened and said:? Try to find a cheap bird to fight! ? A month later, father received the bill again. Bird-hunting fee, gun repair?

9) When I was very young, I often went to the hospital for physical examination and blood test. I was so scared that I kept crying. Once, a little brother came over and asked me what was wrong. I said, it hurts to cut my finger when I have a blood test. ? My little brother cried immediately after hearing this, and he was too lazy to comfort me! -I don't understand: Do you want a blood test, too? The little brother said:? I have a urine test.

10) In those days, we walked quietly on the path in our hometown, and you bowed your head shyly. When the villagers saw us, they all praised you: Oh, it's so beautiful and clean! Also praised me: good boy, come out to release pigs at such a young age! ! ?

1 1) Oh! It's snowing. I really want to turn into a snowflake and fly to your arms. I flew into your collar. Fly into your cuffs. Fly into yours? Why don't you zip up?

12) A group of male hippos risked being eaten by crocodiles and crossed the river to woo the female hippos. After crossing the river, they found that all of them were castrated by crocodiles, and only one survived. The only explanation: stupid! You are all breaststroke, and I am backstroke.

13)? Do you know that?/You know what? My husband was injured in the table tennis final. ? But no one has ever seen him play. Yes He hurt his vocal cords while watching the game. ?

14) Even if a thousand people pass by me, I can still recognize you easily, because one of them stepped on my body and you stepped on my heart!

15) The conductor told the passengers that smoking is allowed only if all the passengers agree. ? Passenger:? But I was the only one in the carriage. ? c:？ In this case, you must wait until someone comes. ?

Men and women chat humorous jokes boutique

1) wife: some people say that young people will lose their minds in the charming moonlight. Do you think this is correct? Husband: There may be some truth, remember? I proposed to you in the moonlight.

2) In the priest's car, the priest put his hand on the nun's snow-white thigh on the way, and the nun smiled and said to the priest, do you remember what the first article of the Bible says? The priest blushed and took his hand away. When he got home, the priest quickly opened the bible and saw that it said, "Go deeper and you will get great happiness!" " "The priest shouted: God! Unfamiliar business kills people!

3) Conclusion: I hope everyone will study theory and business knowledge well, and then work hard to make money. I wish you health and happiness!

4) When the son asked his father what it meant to be on fire, Lao Lang gently told him that it was something someone wanted. On one occasion, there was no chalk in Chinese class, and the young female teacher just wanted to get it herself. Lao Huang's son immediately stood up and said; ? Teacher, I know you are horny, so let me satisfy you ~?

5) After the prisoner escaped from prison, he entered the room and saw the young couple lying in bed. The prisoner kicked her husband out of bed, tied him to a chair, tied his wife to the bed and kissed her neck, then went to the bathroom. The husband said, honey, this is a prisoner. He may be locked up for a long time. Don't resist. Let him be satisfied. This man is very dangerous. If he is angry, he may kill us. Madam:? I'm glad you think so. Yes, he hasn't touched a woman for a long time, but he didn't kiss my neck just now. He whispered in my ear that he thought you were sexy and asked me if there was any lubricant in the bathroom. Be strong, dear, I love you! ?

6) Swimmer: The lifebuoy produced by your factory made me learn to swim quickly. Director: I'm flattered. Swimmer: The lifebuoy deflated at the sight of water, so I had to swim as hard as I could, and finally I learned to swim.

A Dai broke up with his girlfriend. Ask your girlfriend: Do you think our relationship can be saved? Girlfriend replied: it's a key on the phone! A Dai: Is it redial? Girlfriend: No, it's speakerphone.

8) A couple is watching the dance in the ballroom. The husband said with emotion: this world is really strange. Every ugly fool has a beautiful wife. The wife smiled and said, honey, you really know how to kiss up.

9) Mother and daughter wash dishes together, and father and son watch TV in the living room. Suddenly there was a sound of breaking dishes, and then there was silence. Son: It must be mom! Dad asked, why? Son: Because she didn't swear.

A handsome young man walked into an old lady's room. He apologized and said, I'm sorry, I must have the wrong room. The old lady replied, not necessarily, but forty years late.

1 1) The female secretary got into the car of the county magistrate, and the county magistrate could not help but reach out and touch the white thigh of the female secretary. The female secretary asked the county magistrate: Do you remember what Deng Xuan wrote on the first page? The county magistrate blushed and quickly stopped. When I got home, the county magistrate couldn't wait to open the first page of Deng Xuan, only to see that it said: Be bold, be quick ... The county magistrate clapped his legs and shouted: Mom, how many opportunities will you lose without strong theoretical knowledge?

12) A driver was pushing a car in the street. The traffic police asked: Is the car broken or out of gas? Driver: No, I forgot my driver's license today.

13) wife: am I beautiful? Husband blurted out: very beautiful. After ten minutes, my wife asked, are you afraid of hurting me when you say I am beautiful? Husband smiled and shook his head: no, I'm afraid you'll hurt me.