Where are the lines from the Legend of the White Snake by Zhao Si?

Music (our people in the village)

Fa: Pi Changshan, fast, fast, fast.

Pi: It’s coming, it’s coming (pauses and waits for Pi to come on stage) How is it, Assistant Liu, are you looking for me?

Fa: (sigh) Done.

Pi: Who is it?

Fa: Zhao Sier.

Pi: Zhao Si'er, it's so suitable to play Fahai.

Fa: No, Zhao Si'er said he wanted to play Xu Xian.

Pi: No, he acted. How can he play Xu Xian? Xu Xian himself is a doctor, it’s over, it’s okay (mouth twitching) Let’s play the role of Xu Xian twitching.

Fa: No, I, I, I told him. You're not suitable. Isn't that what we decided from the beginning? Xie Dajiao will play the White Snake. After the acting, the acting is over... I will play Xu Xian, right?

Pi: Yes, yes, yes.

Fa: After that, I will work with him and you will play the role of Fa Hai. If you want me to play Fa Hai, I will either play it or I will not play it.

Pi: Is there no one else?

Fa: I can’t find anyone else.

Pi: Let me tell you, time is very tight. The Department of Civil Engineering is organizing an awards show, and our village has to produce a sketch, and it has to be broadcast live. You said (looking at the watch) that's fine, let him play the role. Is Xiao Qing settled?

Fa: Xiaoqing...that...Zhao Si recommended it.

Pi: Who?

Method: Let his daughter-in-law Liu Ying play the role.

Pi: Is that possible? Liu Ying has a big belly.

Fa: Yes.

Pi: You, we can’t say that White Snake is not married yet, Green Snake is pregnant first, aren’t you getting into trouble?

Fa: No, this, this, this, but Zhao Sier explained it very well. Just say what you said, just say that Xiaoqing likes to drink beer and then grows a beer belly.

Pi: OK, OK, it’s too late. Live broadcast, you know, then the script has been distributed.

Fa: Give it all to them.

Pi: Everything is ready.

Fa: Yeah.

Pi: Okay, Assistant Liu, hurry up and get ready.

Fa: OK, OK (step down).

Pi: Well, our audience friends, please cooperate with us in a moment and take a look at what our new White Snake Legend is like? Friends in the audience in front of the TV, you are energetic, come on, friends in the audience, let’s take a round of applause, let’s start the music.

(Bai and Qing come on stage, music, once in a thousand years)

Bai: Qing'er.

Qing: Huh?

Bai: Go faster.

Qing: Oh, sister, why are you so anxious? We only come out once every 500 years. Look at how many changes have taken place in this world!

Bai: Yes, the world has changed so much. Qing'er, stop being playful or we will miss meeting Xu Xian. In this way, our visit this time will be in vain.

Qing: Sister. Are you talking about that nerd?

Bai: Don’t talk nonsense, Qing’er. If Xu Xian hadn’t saved my life back then. Sister, I... wouldn't be here today either.

Qing: Oh, sister, I’m not talking about you. You said there are not many rich, good-looking, and handsome guys in this world. You said you are like a civil engineering major. Chairman Haohao and Minister of Literature and Art Linlin are no better than him.

Bai: Qing'er, sister, I... only like Xu Xian.

Qing: That’s okay, even if you just like him, there’s a huge sea of ??people, let’s go there and find him.

Bai: Yes, 500 years have passed, and I don’t know how Xu Xian is doing now.

Qing: Hey. (Zhao Si coughs, Qing'er picks up the sword)

Bai: Qing'er.

Qing: Huh?

Bai: Listen, Xu Xian is here.

Qing: Huh?

Music (passing love)

Xu: The mountains are covered with snow, the ditches are oh, and the lakes and seas are boundless and I am struggling to make a boat. (Music, Mountains and Flowing Water) Let me tell you, Big Big Wolf, let me tell you, you kid, if you don’t eat up Xi Yangyang, we will be in a good place, I tell you.

(Xiao Qing appears and touches Xu Xian)

Xu: Who?

Qing: Who else? Do you know me?

Xu: Huh?

Qing: Do you know me?

Xu: Come this way.

Qing: Take a closer look.

Xu: What did you say?

Qing: Do you know who I am?

Xu: I don’t know.

Qing: You don’t know me, but I know you. Is your surname Xu?

Xu: Yes!

Qing: My name is Xu Xian.

Xu: Yes.

Qing: I live in the West Lake area.

Xu: I used to live in the West Lake area, but now I have moved to Liujiacun.

Qing: Do you know what I do?

Xu: Huh?

Qing: Do you know what I do?

Xu: Old girl, let me tell you the truth, I didn’t bring a penny with me today.

Qing: You are treating me like a robber! You! Look over there, do you know who she is?

(Bai Suzhen appears)

Bai: Sir, do you still remember me?

Xu: What, old girl, are you talking to me?

Bai: I remember that you saved my life 500 years ago. Today, I am here to repay your kindness. I want to marry you with my life.

Xu: Ah! You said that I saved your life 500 years ago, but now you are repaying your kindness by marrying me.

Bai: Yes.

Xu: Let me tell you, that happened to my ancestors eight generations ago 500 years ago and has nothing to do with me.

Bai: Okay, no more. Come, sir, I will take you to a place.

Xu: Where are we going?

Bai: I will pay for you to open a large pharmacy, and you can help the world by hanging it, and call it "Baozhilin".

Xu: Bao Zhilin? You can pull it down! As for Baozhilin, friends all know that Baozhilin was opened by Huang Feihong. Let me tell you, we are going to go there. I tell you, Huang Feihong could easily kick us both to death.

Bai: Sir! Then we will change the name to "Security Hall".

Xu: I won’t go to any of your halls. Why? Our pharmaceutical business is not easy to do now. Now, especially for a celebrity like me, no one from above will allow me to endorse medical equipment. All.

Bai: Mr.

Xu: Ang.

Bai: Now that I am yours.

Xu: Ang.

Bai: Then everything is up to you.

Xu: What, if you want to talk so much, then let’s just go home and go to the countryside to plant some land. Our national policies are so good now, ah! If we farm now, we don’t have to pay agricultural tax at all. Let’s open a small hotel and name it Xiaolinxuan. How wonderful it is to live in this small life. Just count up. In the past few thousand years, have there been times like this? This kind of treatment?

Bai: No.

Xu: I’m telling you my wife, I’m telling you howling, what’s going on? It turns out that if my father had to be treated like this at that time, he wouldn’t have died before liberation, do you know? ?

Bai: (crying) My husband.

Xu: Ang, now I have something I have been wanting to ask you.

Bai: Yeah.

Xu: Then why do you love me so much? Do you like me so much?

Bai: Mr.

Xu: Ang.

Bai: I more than just like it.

Xu: Ang.

Bai: It’s simply an obsession.

Xu: Hey, don’t be infatuated with me, he is just a legend.

Bai: Mr.

(Xu raised his head and dropped his hat into the basket)

Xu: Where is the hat?

(Bai takes out the hat from the basket)

Bai: Here.

Xu: No, don’t be obsessed with me, I am just a legend.

Bai: Mr.

Xu: Ang.

Bai: Mr. (Shakes Xu Xian’s arm)

Xu: I know, I know you want me very much, but it’s no use. Old girl, tell me what’s on your mind, where is your home?

Bai: My home is in heaven.

Xu: Is home in heaven? You said in heaven that you insist on marrying me, so let me ask you, don’t you have any gentlemen in heaven?

Bai: Yes, but in our heaven, there are no such stinky men.

Xu: I will beat you to death. (Punching Bai's arm lightly)

Bai: So, you promised me?

Xu: Let’s take a walk.

Bai: That’s good. (Qing appears)

Qing: Hahaha, great, great, hahaha.

Xu: Who, who! So what, isn’t there anyone here? Isn’t this? Did you bring two people here?

Bai: Qing'er.

Please: Huh?

Bai: Go over there and catch mice.

Qing: I won’t go, I won’t go, I want to watch it here, it’s fun.

Xu: Yingzi, what about that? Go and get some water for Dad. Dad is thirsty.

Qing: Dad, I’m acting. Call me Xiaoqing.

Bai: My name is Xiaoqing.

Xu: OK, Qinger. Go get some water for your brother-in-law.

Qing: Yes, Dad.

Xu: Look at who these people are.

Bai: Mr.

Xu: Yeah.

Bai: Let’s go over there and enjoy the flowers.

Xu: Well, oh, even if you said you came early, I might not get married.

Bai: Sir, is there a chair that you can move over?

(Xu Xian moves a chair)

Xu: Oh, what about your dad? They are all pretty good.

Bai: They’re all pretty good.

Xu: Oh my God. Ah, I saved you 500 years ago.

Bai: Yes.

Xu: I saved you.

(Xu Xian yawned and Bai lay on Xu's shoulder)

Xu: Aha. I'm a little, well, I'm a little sleepy too. (Music starts)

(Xu crawls on Bai’s legs and snores, Xiao Qing appears with the second snoring)

Qing: Sister, sister, it’s not good!

Bai: What’s wrong?

Qing: Fahai is here! (Arrived)

Bai: Yeah! (Push Xu Xian underground)

Qing: Fa Hai is here!

Bai: Sir! My husband!

(Xu is rolling on the ground)

Xu: Who is it!

Qing: Fahai!

Bai: Fahai is here.

Xu: Who?

Bai: Fahai.

Xu: Fahai?

Qing: Yeah.

Xu: What does Fahai do?

Qing: Monk.

Xu: Monk?

Qing: Yes.

Xu: Well, look, I asked you to keep some water, and you said you were the one doing the trouble, right?

Qing: I didn’t, I didn’t have anything to do with him, he did it on his own.

Xu: Did he come by himself?

Qing: Yes.

Xu: How did it come about?

Qing: Flying in the clouds and mist!

Xu: Stay back and I'll deal with him!

(Play music, Sa Dingding, Fahai appears.)

Xu: Don’t move!

Fa: Bai Suzhen! Lao Na Fahai has come to collect you! Wow yeah yeah yeah... (Appearance)

Xu: What is that.

Bai: Mr. Xian (whisper)

Xu: No, you, you, what are you calling out for?

Fa: What is this thing called?

Xu: No, everyone is rushing to meet someone here. Why are you making such a fuss?

Fa: I will take her in with whomever she is with.

Xu: Who are you accepting?

Fa: Bai Suzhen.

Xu: You, you, let me ask you, are you doing this?

Fa: Me?

Xu: Ang.

Fa: Hahahaha, uh, poor Taoist... (Xu pushed Fahai)

Xu: What the hell is a poor Taoist! Are you a Taoist priest or a nun?

Fa: I must be a nun (stuck), you are a nun, you, I am a monk.

Xu: So, what do you do? You are a monk and you came to take her in?

Fa: Yes.

Xu: Stop pretending, accept it. Bai Suzhen, do you have a magic weapon? You collect her.

Fa: I have a magic weapon.

Xu: What magical weapon?

Fa: Are you watching?

Xu: What the hell?

(Fa takes out the wine glass)

Fa: Click... put it away!

Xu: Ah, let’s see, you’re here to wish our relationship a complete success and want to have a drink with me, right?

Fa: Who would like to have a drink with you? Do you know what this is?

Xu: Wine glass!

Fa: Wine glass, a vessel for holding wine.

Xu: Ang.

Fa: Do you know what it means?

Xu: What do you mean?

Fa: Let me tell you, you and Bai Suzhen, the result of your love is just like it, it is a "cup"! Do you know?

Xu: What, then... you, you, you, get out of here. Ah, you come to collect us with cups, and when it's over, it belongs to us. Love is a tragedy.

Fa: Ang.

Xu: Then you have to bring the washing machine tomorrow. Is our love a comedy?

Fa: What are you talking nonsense here?

Xu: Besides, let’s be honest. Are you playing the role of a monk?

Fa: Yes.

Xu: Look at your hair. (Take off the law hat) What are you doing?

Fa: What, what, what, blame me, blame me, this!

Xu: Then who should you blame?

Fa: Don’t you know who to blame?

Bai: No. What...

Xu: No, then you can just act. Then you see, I told you to shave off all your hair after you act, and you can act again after shaving!

Fa: Do I have time to shave?

Xu: Why don’t you have time?

Fa: I have been with her for more than 4 months. I don’t eat, drink or sleep... Where can I get a shave? He has no place to shave.

Xu: Then why do you have time to shave?

Fa: You are blind!

Xu: Ang.

Fa: When did I, when did I grow a beard?

Xu: Ah, then you are a eunuch and you don’t have a beard.

(Fahai recommends Xu Xian)

Fa: Give me a lot of money.

Bai: Oops. Why did the fight start?

Xu: What’s wrong! you! What’s up!

Fa: Hey!

(Fahai and Xu Xian fight)

Bai: Can you stop fighting?

Xu: Oops! (jumps on the stool) I, I, I, I will take you in!

(Pi comes on stage)

Pi: Stop, stop, stop, come on, stop, why is this going backwards?

Bai: Yes. Okay, we started fighting.

Xu: What about that? I added this Gulu later. I will accept him.

Pi: According to the script, Fourth Uncle, let me tell you, the previous paragraph. The acting is very good and the characters are well drawn

Xu: Yeah.

Pi: Come up like Assistant Liu. This time, the sea of ????human beings is coming. You can't fight with them.

Fa: That’s right, you are the one who picks your nose and eyes.

Xu: No, what about you?

Fa: Can you play you!

Xu: Can I act in something?

Fa: I can’t continue acting.

Xu: How can I not act well?

Fa: Just the two of you, just lingering on the stool or something? no!

Xu: Then you can act and let me see how you manage? Let me see if you bother.

Fa: Come on, Bigfoot, let’s act!

Bai: Ganha wants to act with you?

Fa: In a romantic scene, we are romantically involved, you, you, you, don’t act with Zhao Si.

Bai: No, I can’t act with you. When the time comes, my family, Changgui, will be happy to see the film.

Fa: You are homely...Are you homely and noble?

Bai: Yes.

Fa: Your family, Changgui, has been standing here.

Bai: Where are you standing?

Fa: Oh my God!

Bai: Very expensive!

Fa: Don’t shout, don’t shout, don’t shout. You seem to have seen a ghost. Chang Gui is not here with a "long stick".

Bai: No.

Fa: Is there a long stick on your head?

Bai: Why are you so wicked? Please go away.

Method: lingering, lingering, lingering.

Xu: You are lingering, let me see how you are lingering?

Fa: Let’s act, quickly, quickly.

Pi: Ask Assistant Liu to play Xu Xian. Aunt Bigfoot, please help me coordinate, okay?

Fa: Let me give you a demonstration.

Xu: I’m watching.

Fa: How can you be so lingering and still lie on someone’s lap? You have to be more aggressive, you know?

Xu: Aren’t you passionate enough?

Fa: Yes, yes, yes.

Pi: What, this hat needs to be changed.

Fa: Huh?

Pi: This is so unlikeable. Come.

Xu: Yeah.

Pi: Yes.

Fa: I would sweat even if I didn’t wear it. This whole thing.

(Xu picked up the cane)

Bai: From where? That’s it, sir, is that right? Is it because you don’t agree with your husband? ah?

(Zhao Si)

Pi: Oh, you, you, you.

Qing: Dad.

Bai: Zhao Si'er!

Fa: Just watch, I’m going to give you a demonstration, don’t be shy!

Xu: Go ahead and let me see how you do it. Well, right, right, right.

Bai: It’s begun.

Pi: Come to each department to make sure.

Bai: Can you shout?

Pi: Come on, let the audience applaud. preparation! start!

Bai: Mr.

Fa: Lady.

Bai: Mr.

(Bai and Fa sit down)

Fa: Look!

Bai: Oh, oh my god! (Music sounds, Titanic)

Xu: Stop, the music stops. Yinyin Music, please stop the music quickly. This music was brought by me. They are performing. What are you playing?

Bai: Oops.

Fa: Oops.

Xu: Hey! Big head Liu, what are you doing?

Fa: Huh? Ling Ling, look at it, look at it, set an example, Ling Ling.

Xu: Is this lingering?

Fa: Ang.

Xu: You can pull me down. I’m telling you, I look like I’m sleeping there.

Yun: Liu has a big head!

Fa: Oops.

Yun: What are you doing? oops! Lingering?

Xu: Well, it’s lingering.

Yun: Lingering? Have you finished pestering me?

Fa: Hehehe.

Yun: I’m quite involved. Why aren't you and I so involved? Are you almost asleep?

Fa: No, no, she and I...

Yun: Who are you playing?

Fa: Fa Hai.

Yun: Where is she?

Bai: White Snake.

Yun: In the Legend of White Snake, is there still a scene between Fahai and White Snake?

Fa: New biography? New biography.

Yun: You can just go again, Fahai can’t do this either.

Fa: No, I, I, I, I am giving him a demonstration, I will give it to him. Zhao Si. You ask him, you ask him.

Yun: Is that fourth brother?

Xu: What about Wang Yun? I, I, I, I don’t know anything. (Xu steps down)

Yun: Take a look.

Bai: Hey, your big head insists on playing a lingering role, so there is no such part.

Cloud: Yingzi.

Qing: Well, I don’t want to get involved in your adults’ affairs, dad. . . (Qing stepped down)

Cloud: Pi Changshan.

Pi: Huh? My mother asked me to eat. (Pi leaves the stage)

Yun: You can do it, Liu Datou, let me ask you what is that?

Fa: Huh?

Yun: What is that hanging on my chest?

Fa: Buddha beads, this is not it.

Yun: Did I buy you those oranges two days ago?

Fa: Yes. (Pick up the orange and take a bite). Oh.

Yun: Okay, let’s do it this way. Just act with me.

Fa: What I play is not a play, I play loneliness.

Yun: Hurry up and disappear in front of me, okay? (Fa steps down)

Bai: Oh my god, hahahaha. Hey, have you all seen it? Asking what love is in the world, it means one thing descends from another. (Bai stepped down)