How to flatter?

The so-called flattery refers to subordinates obeying and agreeing with their bosses in everything, acting like a yes-man in the boss's belly, and even doing things that go beyond normal social etiquette, such as helping the boss carry his briefcase, for the same purpose. It seems that by trying to please the boss, one can seek personal salary increase and promotion in the organization.

A culture of flattery will be formed in the workplace because of the existence of employees who like to flatter and the culture of the workplace environment.

People’s personality factors are more difficult to grasp, and they are not the part that organizations should exert their strength on. Therefore, as far as organizations are concerned, there are three main forces that form a flattering culture: corporate culture and the leadership style of the individual supervisor. and the criteria for measuring employee performance.

In fact, flattering is also a science, and it is very sophisticated.

First, we must pay attention to the object. The horse photographed must be a fat horse. Therefore, in ancient times, those who were photographed were all respected and noble people - only the noble ones can be fat, and only the fat can be licked. If it's a skinny horse whose bones make a copper sound when knocked, what's the point of shooting it?

Second, we must pay attention to technique. A flatterer once summed up his secret by saying: "Lick or suck, blow or praise, the weak is real, the small is big. This is the art of flattering horses; the beauty of its application lies in one mind; the key is to flatter the horse. Happy and sweet, this is a clever technique.

Third, pay attention to the timing. Fan Jin in "The Scholars" has nothing to lick before he is elected, and everyone despises him. Not only the father-in-law is fawning over, but also people who are strangers to him also volunteer to work as slaves, because all these flatterers know that this is a good time for flattery.

Fourth, you must be flexible and adaptable. One of the people in the cabinet farted, and the staff next to him said: "It smells bad!" The nobleman was displeased: "A good person's fart doesn't stink, so he is not a good person! The staff member immediately beckoned and said, "That's why your fart stinks!" "Look, how flexible the mind is and how quick the reaction is!

All of these are impossible to enumerate, but they are enough to prove that flattery is a very complex and extremely profound knowledge. It must not be belittled at will. . Of course, it is understandable that people who are familiar with this art have the "technical title" of "flattering" and "fat licker". Like other knowledge, flattery also has its history, although "Ci Yuan" does not mention it. "Ode" in "Poetry" should be much older than "Ci Yuan". I guess it is not the first work of Pai Ma, but it should also be the best one? /p>

In order to prove that the history of flattery is longer than that of "Ci Yuan", I will not hesitate to give another example. There is such a joke in the writings of the Ming Dynasty: After a scholar died, he was brought to the King of Hell by a bull-headed horse face. As soon as he farted, the scholar started to clap: the towering golden buttocks, the aura of treasure, the faint sound of silk and bamboo, the smell of musk and orchid, the minister is standing down, the fragrance is overwhelming! Haha, you see, from the pre-Qin Dynasty to the Ming Dynasty! , it has been passed down from generation to generation for more than a thousand years.

Why does this knowledge have a long history? In short, there are people who like to be photographed. As the saying goes, there are people who carry the sedan chair. There are many people who are ignorant and lonely, but not many like Li Shimin. Because Li Shimin was repeatedly contradicted by Wei Zheng, he angrily killed him. "With just the word "sage", Li Shimin's overwhelming anger disappeared. Such a saint would still buy it, let alone ordinary people? If you want flattery to disappear, you should probably wait until there is no horse, right?

< p>Since flattery is despised, why do some people study it deeply and strive to become "skilled" and "craftsman"? There are various reasons, mainly for two reasons: First, it is for personal gain, as Zou Ji said during the Warring States Period: "Those who like me are the ones who want to ask for something from me. "Secondly, it is the environment that makes it so. In the two thousand years of feudal society, there are people who cannot be subdued by force and wealth, but when will there be no flatterers who can't bend their eyebrows? The "sycophants" and "favorites" in the Twenty-Four Histories "A lot of them are "white sand in nirvana, black with it", and red and red ink are black. If others take pictures, if you don't take them, the official will definitely not be able to do it. Tao Yuanming was unwilling to flatter him for five buckets of rice, so he had to write "Going Back" "Lai Ci" and "Plucking Chrysanthemums on the Eastern Fence" went down. If you don't take pictures of others, it will easily lead to death. For example, Ji Kang, one of the Seven Sages of the Bamboo Forest, neither flatters Mr. Zhong nor flatters Sima. In the end, he had no choice but to play "Guangling San" in the execution ground. Although flattering can make great profits and hate selfish desires, it is also full of dangers.

Because some horses have hidden problems in their hips, if the horse is patted incorrectly, the horse will be in pain, and a flying hoof will kick the flatterer to a bloody head or even death. A person in the Song Dynasty once flattered his superior, the Chengdu prefect, by saying, "If you burn the Broken Sword Gate on the plank road, Chengdu will be in trouble." It happened that the prefect was suspected by the court, and he was kicked by the prefect because of his hidden illness. When he arrived in front of Emperor Renzong of the Song Dynasty, his fate could be imagined. Furthermore, there are so many horses in the world, and the one who pats them has only two hands, how can he pat them all? I patted this horse but not that horse; this horse is comfortable but that horse is uncomfortable. So, he laid a murderous intention for himself. He Shen relied on flattery and became a very popular minister. However, when Qianlong collapsed, his family was confiscated and executed by Jiajing. There is no immortal horse in the world, no matter how fat the horse is. Once the iceberg melts, the doom of the flatterer will come. Deng Tong, a famous flatterer in history, made a fortune by relying on the emperor's favor. He was as rich as the country. However, after Wendi's death, he ended up "unknown and penniless, living with others". Isn't that miserable? The biggest danger of flattery is people's contempt. When the public is angry, the horse will kick you off: Yang Guozhong, who was the most powerful man in the Tang Dynasty, once was so powerful that he dominated the government and the opposition, but in the end he still ended up with blood splattered on the horse. Weipo. Because of this, although horses in history are as good as the crucian carp crossing the river, very few of them died well.

From this point of view, people should still live a decent life and not flatter others, what do you think?

Low-level flattery: putting honey on your lips

Comments: Ma Ji has a cross talk show where a "flattery"'s first words when meeting someone are always "Okay, okay". Once when I met a person with only one eye, the "flattery" said: "Okay, okay, one eye is good, it's obvious at a glance." It's the basic skill of the "flattering" to blurt it out naturally. However, if the other person is not an idiot and flatters you so blatantly, he will understand that you are just teasing him.

Stengel, a British scholar on flattery, has published a book "You're Too Kind—A Brief History of Flattery" ("You're Too Kind—A Brief History of Flattery"). "Flattery": "If you are just a clerk, please don't tell the CEO that he is a genius. The greater the status disparity between you and your target, the more subtle your flattery must be." Another tip is: Don’t overdo it and don’t use compliments that apply to everyone. Store compliments so that there are many available for every occasion.

Intermediate flattery: The boss's younger brother

Comment: Have you watched the Korean TV series "Bubble Love"? This kind of person is like the Minsheng played by Ahn Jae-wook who follows Kuo Shao all day long and even asks Kuo Shao to step in to settle the matter when he dumps his girlfriend. He always thinks about how to serve the boss in his daily life, such as constantly serving tea and water for the boss, cleaning the boss's desk - what's more, he goes to the boss's home on weekends to see if there is any housework that needs help... because He is always willing to provide some services beyond his status as an employee, which brings a lot of convenience to the boss. In many cases, he is more like a follower.

Being too obsessed with the personal relationship with the boss will unknowingly position his image as a "nanny" - such a person is suitable to be a subordinate forever. If you try to use this little trick to impress your boss, you are going too far.

Advanced flattery: Seeing into the boss’s mind

Comments: The highest level of flattery is “killing people invisible”. This type of flattery master is well versed in psychology. They can often see into the heart of their immediate boss from a look in their eyes, and they can do whatever they say and do without leaving any trace, and they can do whatever they want. For example, if he knew that a certain singer whom the leader's son admired was going to have a concert, he would buy two first-class tickets at a high price and give them to him, pretending to be casual and say they were gifts from friends. It doesn't show off anything, yet it achieves its goal - to make people feel numb in their bones. The effect is amazing.