Who has an interesting joke?

Eating mutton skewers today is not good for your stomach. In the hospital, fuck! This is rat meat+gutter oil and Sudan, 7456! I want to sue him. Next, I said, "What fast food restaurant, also called' Kentkan pervert', sells tofu. Smelly, I didn't eat a large group of flies. As a result, the flies were blown up! "

"This is Zhongcha prison, trying to kill me!"

Hatching of Needle Fern sucks! "

"I can't stand it!" Krypton is an addiction to eating a bad stomach, and the "smallest Iranian court" is a bad medicine, but what else is there to write about the tegan bran on the balcony, implement the increase of leprosy, and cite feces as a medicine! "

"We Depend on" Spring has come, to meet the unexpected propionic acid dirty' sold' away the aluminum shell testosterone' ate my intestinal perforation girlfriend chest rupture, lung loss. People who hang the "cooked loan deposit" brand in the hospital say it will be very good! "

Bedroom toilet

There are six multimillionaires, a Japanese, a Russian, a French, a Norwegian, a German and an American.

They go to the shopping center together. Because of their wealth, they seldom need to buy another one. Only those strange things can attract their attention. Coincided with the hype in the mall, he walked into the art toilet for the first time, and six millionaires stopped to watch.

After a while, one of them suggested, "This is a common novel toilet. How about buying one? " Because they are all millionaires, no one wants to fall behind, so everyone bought them back.

The Japanese love cleanliness, so he bought a "super sanitary toilet". Russians like things with texture. He bought a granite toilet. France attaches importance to art, and he bought a painted toilet. Norwegians like wood products. He bought an ordinary wooden toilet. Germany advocates high technology. He bought a computer to completely control the toilet. Americans emphasize freedom and relaxation, so they bought a music toilet.

Six people went home happily in the toilet.

A month later, six people got together at a business meeting, and the topic unconsciously finally turned to buying a toilet.

In a rage, Japan took the lead in speaking: "Damn super sanitary toilet, I'm back, saying that the instruction is that the toilet will be automatically disinfected after each use, and the plastic film placed on the toilet will be sprayed with' disinfection'. Please feel free to use it, you can set it all at sixes and sevens. Start spraying plastic film on your ass without standing up! I wrote "Disinfected, please use it for free at any time" ass!

The Russian complained, "Damn granite toilet, I'm back, too. These people are all granite that is too smooth and polished. They immediately slipped down and fell several times, and they can't easily touch each other's buttocks. "

France is not willing to lag behind, and then shouted: "I will return the damn painted toilets, and the printing quality of painted toilets is not good, and the old color fades. Children draw toilets, and now they are all running donkeys!"

Norway is furious: I'll give you back the damn wooden toilet! Quality? I don't know if there is a janitor in the factory, but also said that it is managed in full accordance with ISO9000, which is convenient for the end of the bottom scum! "

Germany couldn't bear it this time: "The damn computer completely controls the toilet, I must come back!" " I don't know why the operating system always crashes. I am only half as convenient. It began to shout, "The computer in the toilet crashed. You stand up and thank the pants you are wearing to cover the toilet seat and close the toilet seat. Then open the toilet seat, open the toilet seat, take off his pants, and then sit down, and the computer in the toilet can be restarted. ! Technical support telephone number: 12345678. Hmm! "

Finally, the American, he said angrily, "Damn the music in the toilet, don't come back from the dead!" " It was originally said that there were 3000 songs, which were randomly played at your convenience. As a result, the same song-star-spangled banner was played in September and 10, which made me sit still. You must stand up and salute at once! "

Three ghosts

Three ghosts came to God and said with one voice, "It's unfair for me to die. I deserve to go to heaven!" " "God said," I just let the unjust heaven, let me talk about how you died. "

Answer: "My detergent sweeps the floor every day. The low roof of this old building has not been stolen. I accidentally fell down. I grabbed the sewer pipe. Who knew I was in the water? I don't know which bastard opened it. Xiaolou, I didn't fall to death. The above results fell on the refrigerator where I was thrown stones. "

B: "I went to give it to someone else's wife's house, and her husband went home. If I fall, there is no safety net to protect the window and refrigerator. I'm not dead. I'm just from autumn. I was hiding in the refrigerator and the refrigerator was killed by a stone. "

C: "When I came home, I saw my wife with another man from my window. I was very angry when I got home. I removed the pipe, made a free throw in the refrigerator and argued with my wife. So, I accidentally fell out of the window, and someone else's head hit him on the head and died. "

God said, "it is very unfair for you to die, the whole heaven."

The secret of going to the bathroom

A country develops spray toilets. I feel very comfortable once the ambassadors of country A and country B go to the country to use the toilet. Therefore, the people of country B should also develop water-spraying toilets, which shows the emissary of the country: our automatic water-spraying toilets! The second angel of the country came late to make a toilet. ...

The emissary of this country tried the toilet in country B, but I didn't expect it to be sprayed not only on the back of the towel. In order to understand its structure, the messenger stood up and pressed the button. The sprinkler saw a towel and stretched out two hands from the toilet. ...

Three Little Pigs

One day, the wolf ate three little pigs. All three little pigs are at the door, and one is on the roof. The door, the pig on the roof, the pig and the pig, the pig's name is "Who", the pig's name is "Where to go" and the pig's name is "What". Such a wonderful conversation.

Wolf: Who are you?

Pig 1:

Wolf: What?

Pig 1: "What's on the roof?

Wolf: I asked your name.

Pig 1: My name is "Who" and "What" is on the roof!

The wolf asked Pig 2 again: Who are you?

Pig 2: I'm not a "who", he is a "who". (pointing to pig 1)

Wolf: Do you know him?

Pig: Ah!

Wolf: Who is he?

Pig 2: Yes.

Wolf: What?

Pig 2: "What's on the roof!

Wolf: Where?

Pig 2: "Where to go".

Wolf: Who are you?

Pig 2: Who is he? (pointing to pig 1)

Wolf: I know what to do.

Pig 2: Who are you looking for?

Wolf: What?

Pig 2: On the roof?

Wolf: Where?

Pig 2: It's me.

Wolf: Who are you?

Pig 2: I'm not a "who", he is a "who".

Wolf: My God!

Pig 1.2: "God" is our father.

Wolf: What does your father do?

Pig Bajie: No!

The wolf couldn't stand it anymore and sighed: Why?

Pig 1.2.3: Do you know our grandfather?

Wolf: What?

Pig: No, our grandfather is "Why".

Wolf: Why?

Pig: Yes!

Wolf: What's this?

Pig: Not "Why".

Wolf: Who are you?

Pig 1: Who am I?

Wolf: Who are you?

Pig 1: Who am I?

Wolf: What?

Pig 1.2: He is on the roof. ............

Reason for arrest

Someone shouted, "The president is so stupid! ! ! ! ! As a result, he was arrested, but the charge was not "insulting the president" but "revealing state secrets"!

original idea

Someone sent a message to a friend saying, "I want to send you a red envelope!" " "He was happy, but later he was unhappy. The original text message wrote on the next page: "I sent a mosquito, and I will send it later. "

antonym

One day, when the teacher came into the classroom, the students stood up together and shouted, "Good morning, teacher!" " "

The teacher said angrily, "Until good morning? Am I not good in the afternoon? "

Therefore, another student shouted, "Good afternoon, teacher!" "

The teacher said angrily, "What did I do that night?"

Another student shouted, "Good evening, teacher!" "

The teacher nodded and said, "That's good. Shout again now! "

The students shouted: "Good morning, teacher, good afternoon and good evening!" "

The teacher said, "Sit down! Today we are going to review antonyms. So, I said, you are loud antonyms. Now. "

Teacher: "The weather is really good today."

Student: "The weather is terrible today."

Teacher: "There is sunshine everywhere."

Student: "There are dark clouds everywhere."

Teacher: "Sea? On the road of people. "

Student: "Daokong."

Teacher: "Young".

Student: "Old."

Teacher: "I can't stand it."

Student: "Lying"

Teacher: "There is a young man standing on the road."

Student: "There is a one-year-old man lying on the road."

Teacher: "I found a dollar."

Student: "I lost a dollar."

Teacher: "I found a dollar and gave it to the teacher."

Student: "I stole a teacher and lost a dollar."

Teacher: "error, can't say!" " "

Student: "Correct, you should say so!" " "

Teacher: "Wrong".

Student: "Correct."

Teacher: "No, it's illegal!" " "

Student: "This, this is legal!" " "

Teacher: "I said, wrong."

Student: "We said."

Teacher: "Listen to the teacher, what the teacher said is right!" " "

Student: "Listen to what our teacher said is wrong!" " "

Teacher: "You are so stupid."

Student: "We are very smart."

Teacher: "Stop it!"

Student: "Go down!"

Teacher: "Stop it! Stop it! "

Student: "Go on now! Say it! "

Teacher: "You idiot, I said stop!" " "

Student: "We are geniuses, we say go on!" " "

Teacher: "You listen to the teacher!" " "

Student: The teacher listens to us! "

Teacher: "Students must listen to the teacher!" " "

Student: "The teacher listens to the students!" " "

Teacher: "now you stop practicing!" " "

Student: "Let's keep practicing!"

Teacher: "Are you a good beer?"

Student: "We must start and end it!" " "

Teacher: "Then stop! Idiot! "

Student: "Then let's continue! Genius! "

Anger ... After the teacher walked out of the classroom with a book in his hand,

misunderstand

On Sunday, the blind and the lame go out to work by bike. When the blind man limped to see the road, a deep ditch suddenly appeared on the road. The lame man screamed, "ditch, ditch, ditch!" " "As a result, the blind man thought he was singing:" Oh, class, class! " "The blind man who fell into the ditch, the lame man!

The consequences of not understanding

Prostate general practitioner pilots, different languages, gestures.

The doctors made a gesture of "1".

The driver made a gesture of "10".

The doctor made a small gesture.

The driver made a "great" gesture.

The doctor made a gesture of "putting down".

Driver's gesture.

The doctor came home and said, "There is something wrong with a person. I said that man has a small one. He said that this man has five very large, drooping prostate glands! " ! "

Drive home and say, "One person's business is wrong! The five planes I mentioned are flying at Hong Kong International Airport. He said there was only one plane when they arrived at the airport. The airport is very small, the plane flies down! "

American children asked their children, "Thank you, didn't you mention how to say it in China?"

"Thank you, you're welcome."

"You talk nonsense, thank you, how can you not talk nonsense!"

Its boss said: "It is necessary to report (money) in advance.

"I gave it to turtles" became kelp. "

"Who should I imitate?" They are bad. "

"I want a glass of water", don't drink too fast. "

"I want to fly quickly." "But the stewardess is very stubborn."

Bad luck today. "It's really a pity."

You're absolutely right. ""You are very clever. "

I saw the number of prostitutes accompanying customers in the distance.

I want to be indecent and fried. ...

One day, the devil princess caught it.

Devil: "You scream and break your throat ... no one will come to save you ..." "

Princess: broken throat ... broken throat ... "

None: "Princess ... I'll give it to you ..."

Devil: "Speak of the devil and he will come ..."

Cao *: Demon .. Tell me why. "

Demon: "Gan Wenwei ... saw a ghost."

Ghost: "Shit! Was discovered. "

Shit: "A ghost, look at me!" ......"

Demon: "Oh, my God!" "

God said, "Why me?"

Who: "Nobody called you ..."

No one: "Where am I?" Wait! "

Garlic: "Who is pretending to be me?"

: "Who do you say I am? Trouble? "

Trouble: "Who wants to see me?"

Which one: "Looking for you? I didn't ... hey, there are quite a lot of people. "

Many people say, "I just got here ... who are you?"

Which one: "Who am I?"

Who: "Is he me?"

Princess: "Did we all save me?"

Everyone: "I'm not here to save you. Come and see. "

Hot comment: "What are my benefits?"

God said, "This is my business. I'll go first. "

Devil: "You answered the question on foot. Why do so many people save the princess? " ? My devil, how to present it? "

Then he said, "You are a good devil. Quit, what am I doing?"

Princess: "devil, if no one has played, I can go." " "

Numbers: "If I hit the devil, how could I let you go ..."

How to say: "I didn't let the princess go, I wanted to watch the fun."

Hot comment: "Look, what am I doing?"

What: "You want to fuck me? Rogue! "

Did you really say, "Where am I?"

Me: "No, I what?"

Demon: "Shit! I'm going crazy. ......

Shit: "Tell me to do it! ......"

Madman: "What do you want me to do?"

You want me to say, "I don't know anything!"

I don't know: "I don't know!" "

I don't know: "I'm here! Is someone calling me? "

Yes: "I didn't call you!" "

I didn't say, "Why him?"

Who: "Wrong ... I don't ..."

I didn't say, "I can't wronged you, ah ..."

: "I know you dare not."

Forgive you: "Who says I can't?"

Who: "Please ... I didn't say anything!"

I didn't say, "What do you want me to say?"

It's nothing to me ... you ... you're not my long-lost brother, are you? "

My long-lost brother: "Kao ... my name has been used for a long time ... it will be called ..."

Who: "... I want to leave this dangerous place. "

True or false: "Therefore, this is my place."

I disagree: "You booed God in your speech ..."

Hush God and say, "I didn't speak, ah ..."

I didn't: "I just don't talk about blankets! ......"

I don't know what:-_-"... Let's go ... Let's talk outside. "

Go: "They are embarrassed!" (Distortion)

I didn't say, "This is your business ... Flash ..." (The two brothers went out and got angry)

It's none of your business: "Woo ... why did you kick me out ..."

Why: "I don't want to kick you out ... okay ... don't cry."

I didn't say, "Oh ... it's none of my business."

There is nothing wrong with me: "What? Is someone calling me? "

: "Who told you that?"

Who: "I really want to go to ... T. T."

Go: "They are really embarrassed! ... * VV * (who fell to the ground)

None of your business: "... aren't you my cousin?" "

"What's the matter? It's none of my business ... peer cousins (or cousins) ... long time no see! ......"

For a long time: "I'm not always here ..."

Devil: "Are you finished?"

Endless: "Is he me?"

You: "I don't have him."

I mean, "Who said that?"

Who: "Call me what?"

: "Shall I do it?"

You: "I didn't do his"

I mean, "Who says I can't?"

Who: "I said nothing wrong!" " ......"

Say, "Call me?"

: "You are both shameless!"

Both sides: "I want it!" "

Face: "Who wants me?"

: "I don't know"

Devil: "Tell me quickly who I want to fire!" " "

Friend: "Fire me quickly?" For k

Ca: Who am I?

Who: AAAAAAA! "Mention my name, me too? He! "

He said, "I'm not K."

I said, "Who wants me?"

Who: "I finally caught you, kill it and find one." ............

A: "Don't arrest me."

I said, "I've had enough of you. Whoever mentions my name will never let you go! " "

Who: "Look at my eighteen-handed dragon!" "

Me: "Look at my nine yin bones and claws!" " "

Eighteen palms of dragon descending: "What am I good for?"

Jiuyin Bai Gujing: "What am I looking at?"

Any excellent one: "Brother, I finally found it, you!" " "

What is good: "Big Brother, let's talk outside."

Demon: "Shit ... this is an engagement party ..."

Finally, the devil schizophrenia.

Boring, the internet bill was fired.

Network, online dating, naive mind cheated.

Online dating leads to desperate relationships.

Invest, meet before there is no phone.

When you encounter regret, the girl becomes the devil.

Unfortunately, if you are lucky, your emotional investment will be in vain.

Bathing in spring smells of smelly feet everywhere. As night fell, the bear lost his beriberi.

In the moonlight, the healthiest shit. According to fluoroscopy, the buttocks were covered with sores.

Good boy, who doesn't like kicking when he sees that the car is broken?