"My husband is depressed. How can I save him? " Here are some practical suggestions for you.

Honey, I love you, but unfortunately you have this damn depression. How can I save you and enlighten you?

The above is because my husband got depression, and my wife sent me a message asking for help. In this short text, I clearly saw my wife's tears and helpless expression. My heart is also bleeding, and I am also crying and distressed for her.

Yes, people who have not experienced depression cannot understand it. Only those who have experienced it know that the torture of depression is worse than death. The wife said, "This is her husband's second relapse of depression. He is not interested in anything. He has no feelings for his wife and children, just like a Woodenhead. He doesn't want to see a doctor and even refuses to take medicine. Because my husband didn't want to take medicine, my wife bought her husband a lot of nutrients and waited on him without complaint.

For the families of patients, I can feel their feelings. The following is Mr. A Qiu's reply to this wife's personal experience and recovery experience of depression, hoping to help her and her husband. ......

Ah Qiu said:

Everything you do, as someone else, I am deeply moved and want to cry.

I can imagine, as the wife of a depressed patient, the feeling of pain, pride and helplessness is no worse than that of the depressed patient himself!

I've been there before, and I used to be a patient with severe depression and anxiety. For people with depression, they don't feel anything during their illness. Some people are like wooden heads when they are serious, and they have no reaction or perception to anything, so this is a painful process for you to learn and grow up with depressed patients.

Although the process is very hard, everything will be fine if you get through it.

You don't have to tell anyone, just like you said: "It's useless to tell people around you, because they don't understand the painful symptoms of depression at all, and it's useless to say it, which will increase your husband's mental stress;" Yes, others will only laugh at you and advise your husband to relax. They will even laugh at your husband from the heart when comforting him. You see, that XXX is so rich, and his wife is so beautiful, so kind to him, and even mentally ill. "

Not only others will think so, but you will also think so, and your husband will think so. Therefore, I hope you will be strong in this dark journey. At this critical moment, all you have to do is silently accompany and be optimistic about your husband who is tortured by the disease. Don't show your sadness and blame in front of him, because it will increase your husband's guilt and guilt.

Moreover, at this time, you must be strong inside. No matter what your husband said to you or did to break your heart, you should understand him. Understanding is his best support for curing depression.

You must firmly believe that this is not his real intention. Your husband is in such a bad state that no one can say anything, let alone colleagues and subordinates. Then, as his wife, you are his closest and most suitable spiritual companion. All you know is that he is depressed. As your husband, at this time, he absolutely doesn't want you to tell anyone about his illness, so you should keep it a secret and bear the pain for him. When he really shows signs of recovery, he will definitely repay his love and gratitude to you.

I won't tell anyone until he is well, even if he is killed, unless he is well, just like I did at the beginning. When I was in poor health, I resisted, even if I was killed, I wouldn't tell anyone, but I survived by my own desire to survive.

At that time, I was afraid of death, but I was not willing to die. I collapsed to the extreme in this contradiction and entanglement. The painful torture once made me want to jump off the fifth floor dormitory building, but another voice told me that I couldn't die. I still have children and parents, so I will die. I will be the biggest harm and blow to my loved ones, and I will also become the talk and joke of the whole world. Although I am not a celebrity, my only self-esteem has pulled me back from negative and dying thoughts.

What I want to say is that every patient with depression, whether taking medicine or doing expensive psychological counseling, needs a long process, which depends on personal cognition, the role of drug efficacy and physical factors.

Consciousness refers to: knot, thinking and mentality;

Efficacy refers to: helping patients to relieve depression and some physical symptoms, such as dizziness, headache, fatigue, nausea and dyspnea.

The most important thing is that patients with depression will definitely change after this course of treatment, but it is worth noting that this course of treatment also varies from person to person. Some people will be depressed for a long time, while others will be very short, ranging from decades to six months or three months. Three months of recovery is a miracle, just as I am a miracle.

According to your feedback, people like your husband have a second relapse and must take medicine. I suggest you take him to a specialist and give feedback on all the situations your husband is facing now (such as what depressed emotions are there? What are the physical symptoms? ) and so on.

The doctor will prescribe medicine according to your husband's actual situation. The main purpose of taking drugs for depression is to relieve the mental pain and physical pain of patients with depression. Medicine and psychological counseling are both auxiliary functions. The key is to spend time. Through epiphany, you can open your heart one day, but only if you have to relieve physical symptoms and depression, so the value of drug abuse is reflected here.

Depression is not like a cold and fever. Give it a try. This is a chronic mental illness. A cure is impossible, so don't expect a cure. As long as people are normal, emotionally stable and energetic, they are considered to be clinically cured, but it is worth reminding that the probability of recurrence of depression is still quite large. Don't worry too much about the possibility of recurrence. There is nothing to be afraid of if you have a relapse, because you have had experience before, and you will have experience when you have a relapse.

Don't pin all your hopes on drugs, and don't exclude drug use. Patients with depression must take medicine when they are moderate or severe. Not taking medicine will only aggravate the condition. Don't be misled by the side effects of drugs unless you can tolerate it, which most people can't. Admittedly, drugs have three kinds of toxicity, but it's no problem to take appropriate doses of drugs at the doctor's suggestion.

If drugs for depression can kill people and have huge side effects, it's just that depression didn't take the medicine according to the doctor's advice, or increased or decreased the dose without authorization. Under normal circumstances, it is safe and reliable to take medicine correctly under the guidance of a doctor. This is my practical experience.

Those who suffer from depression actually want to get better, but they resist taking medicine and seeing a doctor because they have not fully accepted the fact that they suffer from depression. So as a wife, you should be more patient and persuade him to share some examples of depression recovery. For example, you can tell him about my recovery experience.

My depression experience and rehabilitation experience are roughly shared:

20 18, 18 10 was diagnosed as severe depression and anxiety in Dongguan Mental Hospital at the end of October. Before the diagnosis, I had insomnia for four months, that is, I stayed up all night. I went to check my body before the diagnosis, and found nothing wrong, that is, insomnia, and my brain could not enter the consciousness of sleep. Finally, I thought it was a mental problem. So at the doctor's suggestion, I went to Dongguan Mental Hospital for diagnosis.

At first, I resisted, because I was imagining how such an excellent person like me could get depression. This is also the personal experience of most people with depression. I got up my courage and wanted to cure my insomnia so badly that I forced myself to go. After the diagnosis, I began to get better after taking the medicine for three months, but there was an episode during these three months.

Episode:

That is, on April 8, 2065438/KLOC-0, I took 300 mg of amphetamine sustained-release tablets every day for about half a month. /kloc-On the afternoon of April, 0/8, he suddenly had a seizure and was in a coma for three minutes. At that time, my mouth was foaming, my tongue was bitten, and my face and chin fell off, causing congestion around my eyes. I had a splitting headache and once thought I was going to die, but a miracle happened on April 27th. I will remember this day all my life. On this day, my head suddenly seemed to open, and my brain nerves seemed to be suddenly opened. My whole mind is no longer as fixed as rust, and my head no longer feels pain. I feel that my whole mind has been poured with cold water, and my whole mind is awake, and my mentality has suddenly improved. I think everything is a feeling. So I slowly recovered, until now I recovered very well, and my self-feeling returned to 90%. Even so, I have never stopped running (running for half a year) and going to work because of depression and seizures. )

So, as the patient's wife, my advice to you is:

1. Accompany him with no regrets, neither complaining nor blaming;

2. Learn to love * * *, treat him as a patient in your heart and treat him as a normal person in your behavior;

3. You must be strong and actively hint at yourself. You can't worry and fear too much because of your husband's illness. You must firmly believe that depression can be cured;

4. Advise him to go to a regular hospital for diagnosis, prescription, medicine and timely follow-up.

5. Exercise for 30 minutes every day or until you sweat. Sweating can secrete dopamine, which is a happy factor and a brain element that can make people feel happy. At first, they started jogging from 10 minutes and gradually accumulated;

6. Pay attention to his pessimism and abnormal behavior. Some patients with depression will pretend to be better and avoid your sight to find opportunities for suicide, so don't relax, but don't be too nervous. Such things are still rare.

7. Encourage him, recognize him and praise him;

8. Don't force him to love himself or not at this time, and don't argue with the patient. This is the stupidest thing to do. Your heart should be big, just like those eight words say, "All rivers run into the sea." These eight words come from a self-encouragement couplet written by Lin Zexu, a national hero, which means that we should be as broad-minded as the sea and accommodate countless rivers, so as to accommodate and integrate and form our extraordinary bearing and pattern.

As for how long it takes depression patients to take medicine, my experience is at least 2 months. Of course, the side effects of starting to take medicine will also bring some symptoms. As long as they get through it, the side effects of the drug will gradually disappear. If they are really uncomfortable, it is recommended to find a doctor to change the medicine and stick to taking the medicine for two or three months. By then, the efficacy should also play some role. At that time, patients will also begin to feel, perceive and act or suddenly love to talk.

Finally, remind everyone again that you must give up drinking when you take medicine again. Drinking will definitely aggravate depression. This is my personal experience! Smoking is no big deal. Try not to smoke.

I firmly believe that depression will get better. I firmly believe that this is a spiritual power to deal with depression. Give yourself and people with depression more time. When you get through three months, six months or even a year, you will definitely see signs of improvement. I believe that people's ability to repair is very strong. Don't think that their illness is the most serious. This is a misconception that everyone with depression thinks. In fact, patients with depression are almost the same, and no one is lighter than anyone else. No one is heavier than anyone else, because they are afraid of death, they will think they are the most serious. "In fact, you are not serious at all. You just have a cold in your heart." It is also very powerful to use this sentence to imply yourself and the church and guide the depressed patients themselves.

Don't blindly spend money on offline psychological counseling. Offline psychological counseling is not only expensive, but also does not play much role, because few psychological counselors really understand depression, because they are all theoretical knowledge, but they have never experienced what depression is like. It is suggested that the families of patients with depression or the patients themselves seek experience, spiritual encouragement and psychological companionship from those who have recovered from depression with positive energy.

-End-

Brief introduction of the author

A Qiu, a national second-level psychological counselor, a famous emotional tutor, a famous emotional psychology writer and a disseminator of physical and mental health; There is a new book "Out of the Devil", a soul book to cure anxiety and depression, to accompany you to heal.