Looking for super funny and meaningful jokes

The funniest joke in history

1. Songkran Festival

During the Songkran Festival, everyone splashed water on each other to bless them. Suddenly a man scolded: Shit, who spilled water on me? Others advised that throwing you is a blessing.

Don't do that, the curse said. Who threw boiling water at me?

Waiting for the bus

I went to work this morning to catch the bus. When I got to the platform, the bus had already started. So I chased it and shouted, "Master, wait for me! Master, wait for me! " ......"

Then a passenger leaned out of the window and said to me, "Wukong, stop chasing."

3. What a shame

Outside the delivery room of the hospital, a group of men are waiting to be new fathers. A nurse hurried out of the delivery room and said to one of them, "Congratulations, your wife gave birth!" " "

Another man threw his cigarette butt on the ground, jumped up and shouted, "How dare you! I got there before him. Why hasn't it been my turn yet? "

give/have an acupuncture treatment

A Jia went to the hospital for a health check-up, and the nurse took a needle to draw blood for him. A Jia looked at the shiny needle and couldn't help asking, "Will it hurt?" I'm afraid of pain! The nurse said, "Don't worry, I have been a nurse for more than 20 years." ... "Someone said," Great, I'm relieved! "Then the nurse put the needle down and only heard a scream like killing a pig. The nurse slowly connected:" It doesn't hurt. "

Outoutwit oneself

In the bar, George is drinking beer alone. He suddenly felt that he was going to the bathroom. He was afraid that someone would steal his beer after he left, so he wrote a note on the table: "I spit in the cup." When he came back, he found another sentence added to the paper: "I threw up, too." . . .

6.it's too loud

Zhuge Liang is a master of eight stunts, one of which is ventriloquism. It is said that Zhuge Liang discussed with Liu Bei in his account this day. Zhuge Liang suddenly wanted to fart, but he was afraid of being heard by Liu Bei. I'm really sorry. He had a brainwave and said, "Master, I call you like a woodpecker. How about adjusting the atmosphere?" Liu Bei nodded. Zhuge Liang barked twice in imitation of a woodpecker and took the opportunity to fart. Then he asked, "What's the matter, master? Do I learn like it? " Liu Bei said, "Learn it again. You farted too loudly just now. I didn't see it. "