Funny and incisive life jokes

Funny and incisive life jokes, everyone knows some funny things or jokes. Saying some funny life jokes can make people happy and forget what is unhappy. Let's take a look at those funny and incisive life jokes.

Funny and incisive life jokes 1 1. Life as an adult is not easy except getting fat and losing hair.

Second, don't look at others on the surface. In fact, they are smoother behind their backs than you think.

Violence can't solve anything. Why don't we sit down calmly and praise me for an hour, and we'll make up.

Fourthly, I finally know why people choose a good day to get married, because there may be no good day after marriage.

It is said that people who love to laugh are not too unlucky, but unlucky people can't laugh.

6. The difference between a cat and a dog: Dog: This man gave me food. He is probably God! Cat: This man gave me food. I am probably God!

Seven, in fact, there is no need to read all the travel guides and condense them into four words: bring more money.

Eight, I think it's best not to play mobile phones at home all day, or ask more friends out for a walk, and then find a place to play mobile phones together.

Nine, when I took the English exam, there was a beautiful woman sitting in front of me. She wrote the paper carefully. I asked her to make copies for me, and she agreed. Finally, I changed several multiple-choice questions because I was afraid of the paper. Finally, she came last in the exam, and I was the second from the bottom.

Ten, some people say that I am ugly, I am very sad, very distressed by her, and I was blind at a young age.

Eleven, if the pain is as high as 10, then my pain is like pi, although not much, but never ending!

Twelve, the leader said: "You should regard the unit as your home." So, in strict accordance with the instructions of the leader, I took off my shoes with bare arms, sat on the sofa and played games, and called my wife over for hot pot at noon. In the afternoon, the leader came back and pointed at my nose and scolded me: "You took charge of the unit!" " "What a capricious person!

Thirteen, "manager, no, the singing guest in room 888 is out of tune!" " The manager slapped me: "I'm not a music teacher, why are you looking for me out of tune!" "

Fourteen, the depreciation rate of women is really amazing. It only takes one day to change from a bride to a wife.

15. I went to the hotel on a business trip and found that the smoke in the room was very heavy, so I called the front desk, and the front desk replied, "Please wait a moment and send someone to do smoke-free treatment for you immediately." After a while, a waiter came in and opened all the windows in the room.

Sixteen, don't worry about not getting the sun, maybe no one will call you an idiot if you get tanned.

It's not that I don't know how to make money or how to save money. It's just that poverty limits my imagination.

Eighteen, the boy who chased me for five years secretly gave me a surprise and gave me a red envelope of 13 14 yuan. I was a little happy. Maybe this is called bragging.

If you are really hungry, call me, and I will buy snacks for you to chew as soon as possible.

What is the experience of having a friend who stutters? The Great God replied: We described that he used a 2G signal when he spoke!

Funny and incisive life fragment 2 1, living like an erhu with the blues spirit of hip-hop.

2. I don't know that oil, salt and rice are expensive.

3, lose weight for ten years, eat fat for three minutes. Ten years of love, three minutes to break up. Study for ten years and forget for three minutes. It takes three minutes to charge for ten years.

You are my sun and the center of my world. Now think about it, it's just a ball.

If our relationship is weak, add some salt.

6. marry a woman like me. Although it is not beautiful, it is enough to make you lose everything.

7. Girls are always in love with spring, and young women are always wet.

8. Someone said I was ugly today, and I cried on the spot. I am very sad, and I feel sorry for him. I went blind at a young age.

9. The beauty of a woman lies in being stupid without regrets; The beauty of a man lies in lying.

10, others laugh at me for being crazy, and I laugh at others for being cross-eyed.

1 1, outside line. There are so many bacteria in the world that I'm afraid I'll get infected as soon as I go out.

12, the computer and I have a common language. Every time I look at it gently, it collapses subconsciously.

13, do you know who is the most powerful anti-Japanese hero in history? Correct answer: period!

14, every winter, the places outside the bed are far away, and the places where the hands can't reach are in other places. Going to the toilet is a business trip.

15, mom and dad, we should be calm in the parent-teacher meeting and face the teacher frankly to provoke the relationship between you and me. I am your own. Do you believe me or him?

16, I'm not the kind of person who hits people when they're down. I just closed the well.

17, Beijing can keep you at the forefront of fashion all year round. The strong wind in Beijing can blow your hairstyle from 28 to 37, and finally to the middle point, and then it will directly become a big back. An average of three seconds, a hairstyle will never be the same! No matter men, women and children, Beijing Gail will serve you wholeheartedly.

18, I have never been cheated, because no one of the people has cheated me.

19, although I am not beautiful, I still play with you and can't find the north.

20. What you say is just like a young lady saying she is pure.

Funny and incisive third paragraph of life 1, he is getting married, and he drags his best friend to choose a wedding ring. "That's good." "You help me try!" "That's ... OK!" "Just right!" When she tried to take off the ring, she was caught by his big hand. "If you put it on, you can't take it off anymore!" ! "She opened her eyes." Aren't you ... getting married? ... yes, with you.

The most painful thing in the world is that a good spring dream is awakened by urine.

What you say is just like a young lady saying she is pure.

4, the goods have a shelf life, people are tired of seeing things, you are in my heart, how long can you be a cow?

5. If you don't confess, you can be friends. If you are friends, you can borrow money. If you borrow money to express your confession, you will be rejected and become a stranger. Then you don't have to pay back the money.

What a wonderful life it would be if mosquitoes switched to fat instead of blood.

7. Listening to English songs is good. I haven't been bored after listening for half a year. Because I don't understand.

8. Reading more funny sentences can make people optimistic and humorous.

9. There are so many bacteria in the outside world that I am afraid that I will be infected as soon as I go out.

10, the piano, chess and calligraphy are not good, and washing and cooking are too tiring.

1 1. I watched my homework for a minute, and then my phone got jealous, and then I coaxed my phone for an hour.

12. Go to the supermarket to knead instant noodles when you are in a bad mood.

13, I recently read an unforgettable book and benefited a lot. I forgot the title and content.

14, buying a computer without broadband is like a monk who eats only when wine and meat are ready.

15, I may have been single for a long time. I saw a sow the other day. I think its eyes are very good.

16, many things are very substantial, such as losing weight.

17, flip a coin, head to the internet, tail to sleep, stand up for class.

18, getting up early can really do a lot of things, for example, go to sleep again.

19, women are tools to make human beings, and men are human beings who use tools.

It doesn't matter if you don't like me now, I'll ask my son to pick up your daughter in the future!