The most classic joke in history

1, my wife asked me, Why did you marry me?

I smiled. Harm set, harm get. ?

2. In high school, a classmate talked about the situation in the Middle East in a chat and suddenly said: Hussein, the monkey kingdom of Jordan. Suddenly laughed?

3. There are ducks barking in the street? Collecting duck feathers? Chatting with acquaintances. Speaking of acquaintances catching a cold, he shouted loudly? Caught a cold? .

4. The most classic thing is to watch Tao tell an anecdote when he was just the host. He never said that the opening ceremony was a curtain call ... What impressed me most was that he said that once he hosted a party, he calmly walked up and said affectionately, Friend, have you seen the Yellow River? Do you know it is our mother river? After introducing the Yellow River affectionately, he said: Let's listen to the song of the Yangtze River.

I remember I went for an outing with my colleagues. Colleagues got married, and then we had a barbecue. My colleague shouted to her husband: Honey, I don't know if peeling this onion is too exciting or something ... The result is: old onion ~ ~ You peel this man ~ ~

6. I remember that in junior high school, there was a class about the Great Northern Wilderness. The teacher asked us to read the text. Is there a sentence? Hunting roe deer for fish, pheasant flying into the rice cooker? . When reading the text at the same table, I accidentally slipped my tongue. Did I read it? Hunting roe deer for fish, pheasant flying to bed? I was almost dizzy with laughter. Before she realized it, she seriously asked me what was going on.

7. I:? Master, you help me calculate when I have money. ? Master:? When you are 89 years old, you will have everything you want. ? Me:? Master, is this really the case? The master smiled and said, yes, burn whatever you want. Ammonia water.

8. When I was a cashier, a woman once took a pack of sanitary napkins to pay the bill. After checking out, I wanted to say: Please walk slowly? The result was accidentally said? Please take your time.

9. I went to the hospital for a checkup and I was really pregnant. I came out and called my husband happily.

Me: Honey, I'm pregnant.

Husband: Say whatever you want. Don't eat, drink and cheat here.

10, there is a couple who love durian, but they are afraid to smoke durian for their five-year-old son, so they hide in the kitchen to eat it. At this time, the five-year-old son pushed open the door and shouted, Well, you are eating shit behind my back.

1 1. My friend shopped online, and it hasn't been delivered for five days. I contacted customer service in a rage. You have no credibility! It's been five days and it hasn't arrived yet! ! I want to complain to you! ! ! ? Customer service busy reply:? Please wait a moment, dear. I'll check the transaction records. ? After a few minutes, the customer service attitude is still kind: dear, it turns out that you wrote the mailbox at the delivery place! Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. ?

12, married for many years, slept until midnight.

Husband suddenly turned around, hugged his wife tightly and said, wife, this life is too short.

My wife woke up and listened to her husband's words, and she was moved to tears.

My husband went on to say, I can't even cover my fucking feet.

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