Funny English jokes about animals?

Cold jokes, as a special kind of verbal humor, have not attracted extensive attention in academic circles, and there are few systematic studies on this phenomenon. The following is what I compiled, welcome to read!

Tisch

A policeman took a monkey to see his boss. The boss asked, "What mischief are you playing? He said, "This monkey is wandering in the street and doesn't obey any rules. I'm going to turn him in. The boss said, "Oh, my God! You are so stupid! If you catch a monkey, you must take it to the zoo. Why did you bring it to me? Take it to the zoo! So the police took the monkey out. Three or four days later, someone saw him holding the monkey's hand again. He took the monkey to the police car, opened the door, put it in and was about to drive away. The boss saw it, ran out and asked, "Oh, my God! Why is the monkey still here? I told you to take it to the zoo. The policeman replied, "Yes, sir. I have taken him to the zoo. Today, I will take him to the movies. "

A policeman brought a monkey to his boss, and his boss said, "What monkey trick are you playing?" The policeman's eldest brother said, "This monkey is running around the street and doesn't know anything about the law. I took it back and punished it. " The boss said, "God, why are you so stupid?" If you catch a monkey, take it to the zoo. Take it * *? Take it to the zoo. Later, the police took the monkey out. Three or four days later, I saw him and the monkey open the door of the police car hand in hand and let the monkey sit in. He was about to drive. His boss ran out and said, "God, why did you leave the monkey here?" Didn't I tell you to take it to the zoo? "Why are you still here?" Police eldest brother: "I have! I took him to the zoo. I'm taking him to the movies today!

extreme

He has just been to the zoo.

When I was waiting in line at the bank, I noticed a woman holding a child at a window. The boy was eating a bread roll, and he stuffed it into the cashier. The cashier tapped him on the head with a smile.

"No, no, dear," said the boy's mother. Then he turned to the waiter. "Excuse me, young man. Please forgive my son. He has just been to the zoo. "

He has just been to the zoo.

When I was waiting in line at the bank, I found a woman standing at the window with a child in her arms. The boy is eating a bread roll and poking at the cashier. The cashier smiled and shook his head.

"Come on, dear," said the boy's mother. Then she turned to the cashier and said, "Sorry, young man. Please forgive my son, he has just been to the zoo. "

Tisso

The owner of the hamburger stand was very surprised when he saw a man coming in with three iguanas, but when the man ordered four hamburgers and French fries, the boss just shrugged his shoulders.

A man walked into a hamburger restaurant with three big lizards, and the boss was startled. Then he ordered four hamburgers and French fries, and the boss shrugged and agreed to his request.

The man left after having dinner with his iguana.

The old man and his lizard ate dinner and left.

The next day, the man came back with two kangaroos, and the same scene was repeated.

The next day, the man brought two kangaroos and ordered the same thing.

On the third day, the man came in with two orangutans and a chimpanzee, and the owner couldn't help saying a word.

On the third day, he brought two orangutans and a chimpanzee.

"You really look like an animal lover," he said.

The boss had no choice but to say, "You are really a caring person."

"That's true," said the man. "I want you to know that we are very grateful to you for letting us eat here. Some owners object. "

"That's true," the man replied. "In addition, I want to thank you for letting us in for dinner. Many shopkeepers refused to sell us anything. "

"Never mind," said the shopkeeper.

"No problem!" The store said.

"To show my gratitude, I want to give you this lobster." The animal lover handed over a lively crustacean.

"To thank you, I gave you a lobster." After that, he gave his boss a fresh lobster.

"Well, that's very kind of you. My wife and I will eat it for dinner. "

"That's very kind of you. My wife and I will eat it for dinner. "

"Oh, he has already had dinner. But I'm sure he will like watching movies. "

"Oh, it has already had dinner, but I think it will like watching movies."