It's urgent to ask for a good script about teacher Bao's jokes.

Li Bai: It's hard to get through the Shu Road, and it's hard to get into the sky. Bao Qingtian: Brother Bai, you ...! Du Fu: A flock of egrets went to the sky. Bao Qingtian: Damn it, you two!

Zhan Zhao told Mahan his heroic story: "I went to Xiaoyao Building that day and got important information, but I was caught in the office by mistake and was seriously injured. I vigorously transported a mouthful of true qi and supported it to Kaifeng. Suddenly, Mahan laughed and asked with concern, "Did you faint?" Zhan Zhao: "No, it's Lord Bao coming out.

In view of Zhan Zhao's close relationship with the golden retriever recently, Mr. Bao was very worried, so he deliberately looked for an opportunity to warn Lingyang Zhan: "A gentleman chooses his friends carefully, as the saying goes, he who is near the ink is black ..." The exhibition guard was taken aback and took three steps back and shouted: "Don't lean over! I don't want to be as black as you! "

One night, Kaifeng suddenly caught fire. Bao Gong flew out of Kaifeng House regardless of his clothes. Watching the fire in the house was in shock. Suddenly a fireman came over and patted Mr. Bao on the shoulder and said, "Dude, you are really amazing." You run so fast when you're burning like this.

One night, Kaifeng suddenly caught fire. Bao Gong flew out of Kaifeng House regardless of his clothes. Watching the fire in the house was in shock. Suddenly a fireman came over and patted Mr. Bao on the shoulder and said, "Dude, you are really amazing." You run so fast when you're burning like this.

Bao Zheng was the third energy-saving pacesetter in Dasong, and Pang Taishi refused to accept: "I sent a sap to find him and lit two more torches. What makes this pack of sunspots! " Bao Zheng smiled and replied, "I have my own little moon lighting system. You don't need to light a lamp to read at night, and you don't need lanterns to go to the toilet. I have saved resources for my Dasong for decades, and two torches can be erased. " Gongsun Ce dried the handwriting: "Your honor, Pang Taishi's confession has been recorded."

Zhan Zhao excitedly said to the aggrieved person: "Don't worry, Lord Bao is a good official who can't find lanterns!" Bao Zheng listened and said angrily, "Zhan Dashuai, is this official that black?"

Lord Bao will judge Chen Shimei at night. Chen Shimei was kicked out of his dream and brought to class. He glanced at Zhan Zhao in a daze, then at Bao Gong, and immediately collapsed to the ground. He just shouted, please forgive me, two masters of impermanence. Lord Bao was stunned by a column of incense, then patted the mallet and roared: The evidence is conclusive, so it's gone!

Gongsun Ce: "Tell Mr. Bao that you have been saying that you are black in Weibo recently." Bao Zheng sighed: "So that's it." Zhan Zhao complained: "Hum, they don't understand the darkness during the day!" , Bao Zheng immediately with black line!

Alas, every time our government goes out, you send someone with an umbrella. It didn't rain on a sunny day. Why? ""there is no big sun these two days. Lord Sun is afraid that you will catch it as soon as you get it ... "

Song Renzong asked Bao Zheng to report people's sufferings. "Many people are poor." Bao Zheng said, "They can't even light an oil lamp! My house is opaque during the night visit ... ""That's your own problem. Please give some more convincing examples. "

front page (of a newspaper)

Zhan Zhao told his heroic deeds to Dynasty and Mahan: "I went to Xiaoyao Building that day and got important information, but I was caught in the office by mistake and was seriously injured. I took a strong breath and supported it to Kaifeng. Suddenly it was dark. " Mahan asked with concern, "Did you faint?" Zhan Zhao: "No, it's Mr. Bao."

Gourmet edition

Bao Zheng was struck by a flash of lightning, and his eyes were black. He crossed to 20 12 and became the director of the food and drug administration.

He went to the food enterprise to inspect, and when he met all the people, he greeted them and said, You have worked hard! Employees of food enterprises have said: leadership is harder! They're all tanned!

Bao Zheng: You are darker!

QQ edition

In the early dynasty. Song Renzong glanced at the ministers majestically and was furious: "Why isn't Bao Zheng here? ! ""Long live the reunification, isn't Bao Zheng here? " The Eight Immortals pointed to Bao Zheng Road at a loss. Song Renzong: "Oh, look at his head. I thought he wasn't there. "

Lifesaving edition

Zhan Zhao caught up with the assassin and made several moves to subdue him, but he rushed back to Kaifeng. When Gongsun Ce met Zhan Zhao, he said, "Lingyang Zhan, you have been tricked into drawing the tiger out of the mountain! Just now you went after the assassin, and another assassin lying in ambush on the roof immediately entered Bao Gong's room! " Zhan Zhaoxin was surprised: "Are you all right? ! "Gongsun Ce looked at the dark clouds covering the moon in the sky and said," Fortunately, Lord Bao used his quick wits to take off all his clothes. The assassin thought he was gone and left. "

Forensic edition

Lord Bao made the details of the murderer's crime clear, and the murderer had to nod and admit it. Finally, the murderer said, "My Lord, there is something unknown about the villain. How do you know the details of my crime? " "This is what our government saw with its own eyes, but it is powerless to stop it." "My Lord, it was dark and windy that night, and there was no one around ..." Bao Zheng pointed to his face and said, "You know!"

User extract:

1. Huangyan Island is steep and cannot be attacked for a long time. So Bao Zheng ordered the expedition to Huangyan Island. The first night, Zhan Zhao: Mr. Bao, how many soldiers and horses do you need to lead? Kill Feynman! Is 50,000 troops enough? Bao Zheng smiled without a word. The next night, it was as black as ink. Feynman received the message and stepped up his guard, but he didn't see any change. Feynman died on the 3rd. Zhan Zhao is curious: How can we destroy the Philippines without moving a single soldier? Bao Zheng caressed his beard and smiled: On behalf of the moon, I will kill you!

2. "Mom, are there ghosts in this world?" "Silly boy, of course not." "But there is a fire burning in the street." "It's a ghost fire, which is caused by the reaction of phosphorus with water or alkali after death and the spontaneous combustion of phosphine." "But there is a suit floating around with the fire." "Let me see, oh, that's Lord Bao carrying lanterns on a night patrol."

3. Harden told Durant his heroic story: "On that day, I angrily picked a board in the backcourt and got a chance to fight back quickly. I tried to dribble to the frontcourt quickly, and suddenly it was dark, but I didn't fall to the ground. " Du Shaoguan asked earnestly, "Are you elbowed by Ci Shiping again?" Harden: "No, I bumped into Bao's arms."

4. A group of people are sitting and chatting in Kaifeng. Gongsun Ce boasted: "Lord Bao is really a genius in solving crimes from heaven, and the bright moon hangs like a mirror on his forehead." Zhan Zhao: "Unfortunately, it is not a full moon." This is so disappointing. Bao Zheng face a heavy, everyone's heart tensed. Unexpectedly, Bao Zheng sighed and said, "Bao's moon was really round at first. When I was a child, I was playful, and the sun was too much, and my skin color became darker. I didn't know that the full moon on my forehead had become like this. Hey. "

5 "I am very disappointed in you." Bai Yutang sneered: "In the past, Nan Xia, now he is willing to surrender to the dog official and be an eagle dog!" "No, you don't understand!" Zhan Zhao said excitedly, "Lord Bao is a good official who can't find lanterns!" "I'm not that dark!" Looking at Bao Zheng growled. ! !

6. In order to meet the needs of foreign guests enjoying the moon, Bao Zheng was hung instead of the moon. "Your majesty, Bao Zheng is also an official of the imperial court ..." The Eight Immortals pleaded. "Besides, when you admire the moon, it's just a crescent moon on Bao Zheng's forehead." "This uncle has a point." Song Renzong nodded. "Somebody, put Bao Zheng down." "Your Majesty is wise!" "Give him a swollen face before hanging up."

7. The reporter came to a village and interviewed a Zheng Tai: "What do you do every day?" "Eat, sleep and play soy sauce." Ask the second Zheng Tai, "What do you do every day?" "Eat, sleep and play soy sauce." ..... When asked in the end, only one Zheng Tairen surnamed Bao replied: "Eat and sleep."

8. Late at night. On the way to the crime scene. Shylock suddenly pulled John's sleeve. "John, let's kiss, too." John was puzzled. "Well, what do you mean by us?" "Look at Gongsun Ce and Bao Gong in front." "Obviously, Gongsun Sheng is the only one!" "Observe, John. You saw his tongue sticking out and disappearing. "

9. Gongsun Ce always licks his handwriting lightly after dancing with ink, and sometimes his lips are inevitably stained with ink. When Zhan Zhao first saw it, his expression was very strange. "Mr. Gongsun, if Zhan has a problem, I wonder if he has made it right ..." "It doesn't hurt to show it to the doorman." "Did you just kiss Bao Gong?"

65438+ "No, no, I'm drawing a bag, my Lord."

1 1. An explosion occurred somewhere in Kaifeng, burning down the whole house and causing heavy casualties. Bao Zheng and his party rushed to the scene of the accident to investigate the cause. Suddenly, a doctor carrying a medicine box grabbed Bao Zheng and covered his nose and mouth with a cloth. Zhan Zhao was frightened and drew his sword. "A daring madman dares to hurt Lord Bao in front of my southern Xia!" The doctor nu way, "harm your sister! I didn't see this fellow burned to black charcoal! "

12. On this day, Zhan Zhao went to Mr. Gongsun's room and said, "I have heard that Mr. Gongsun is wise for a long time. I have something to ask Mr. Gongsun." Gongsun Ce said, "Be my guest." Zhan Zhao said, "Why doesn't Lord Bao eat chocolate?" Sun smiled and said, "Because adults are afraid of biting their fingers."