Somebody tell a joke! I am in a terrible mood. .

1. The headmaster and English teacher visited a middle school in France. The headmaster spoke in the auditorium and the English teacher translated.

Principal: "Teachers and students!"

English teacher: "Ladies and gentlemen!"

Principal: "Ladies and gentlemen!"

English teacher-_-! Thought for a moment and said, "Good morning!"

Principal: "Good morning!"

English teacher: ... = = "Sweat.

2. It is said that there is a polar bear, because the snow is too dazzling, he has to wear sunglasses to see things, but he can't find sunglasses, so he crawls around on the ground with his eyes closed and crawls until his hands and feet are dirty. Put on sunglasses and look in the mirror, only to find: Oh, I'm a panda.

3. A polar bear stayed in a daze on the ice. When he was really bored, he began to pluck his hair, one, two, three, and there was no last one left, and then he froze to death.

4. Once upon a time, there was a bird that passed through a cornfield every day, but unfortunately, one day there was a fire in that cornfield, and all the corn turned into popcorn! ! ! After the bird flew by ... it thought it was snowing, so it was very cold.

Xiaoming got a new haircut and came to school the next day. The students all laughed when they saw his new hairstyle: Xiao Ming, your head looks like a kite! Xiao Ming felt very wronged, so he ran outside crying and flew away.

6. The spider fell in love with the butterfly, but the butterfly refused it. Spider asks: Why? This is why! Butterfly said: My mother said that people who fool around on the Internet all day are not good people.

7. On a hot summer day, two bananas were walking on the road. The banana walking in front suddenly felt so hot. He said it was too hot. I want to take off my clothes. As a result, he skinned it. As a result, the banana in the back fell down. Then peeled bananas become dried bananas ~

One day, three explorers finally found the "Valley of Hope". According to legend, as long as you stand on the edge of the valley and shout out what you want, and then jump into the valley, you will get what you want. So the three of them decided to have a try.

The first one was a goat, so he shouted "Woman! Woman! " The next jump is really full of beautiful women waiting for him.

The second is a bookworm, shouting "Book Book Book Book Book Book!" Then, jump into the valley and get books full of pits and valleys.

The third kind is an indecisive person, who can't decide what he likes after thinking about it. After an hour, he finally made up his mind that money is the most useful thing, so he went to the valley. He accidentally kicked a stone and scolded, "Shit!" Unexpectedly, an unstable center of gravity fell into the valley.

9. What about Xiaoming? He will have an exam tomorrow, but he is watching TV in the evening.

Xiao Ming's mother asked anxiously: Have you finished all the books? There will be an exam tomorrow.

Xiao Ming replied brightly: Mom, I finished reading it.

Xiao Ming's mother praised Xiao Ming happily: Good boy, then you must do well in the exam tomorrow.

Xiao Ming cried and said, Mom, I mean,' Mom, I think it's over'.