A joke that makes people laugh.

1, someone went to explore the virgin forest, but unfortunately he was caught by the cannibal tribe. Those guys wanted to dedicate him to the chief for dinner, but the chief sighed, "Fresh is fresh, but today is Lent!" " "Someone was overjoyed:" Then let me go! However, the chief pursed his lips and said, "Nice try. Give me a vegetable before eating! " "

2. After Yao Ming retired, because of his height problem, his life was inconvenient, and he sought medical advice everywhere, but it was not solved. One day I met a monk. The monk said that there is a secret recipe that can reduce the height to 1.8 meters after taking it. Yao Ming was overjoyed and asked what medicine it was. The monk said: short oil!

3. Once upon a time, Americans visited Russia. One day, I saw two Russian workers on my way to Russia. One is to dig a hole by the roadside with a shovel, and dig a hole every three meters. Another worker immediately backfilled the hole just dug by the previous worker, and so on. ....

Out of curiosity, the American asked the first Russian worker, "Why did the guy behind you fill in the hole as soon as you dug it?" ? 』

Russian workers replied: "We are greening the road. I dig a hole, the second person plants trees, and the third person fills the soil. But the second man didn't come today. 』

4. Tomb-Sweeping Day has arrived. Last night, my family and I went downstairs to burn paper money to worship our ancestors, leaving my sister to look after the house. As soon as I came back, my sister said to me, "Brother, a few people talked to you on the Internet just now, and I helped you reply!" " "I looked at the message record curiously. It turned out that ... Oh, my God, my sister actually replied to me: I'm sorry, my brother is gone, and he can't come up to talk to you unless I help him burn paper ...

5. School Booking Office: Tickets are particularly tight now. If the train ticket you want is gone, will you obey the adjustment?

Me: Obey.

After getting the ticket the next day, I was very angry: I booked a ticket to Shandong, why did I get a ticket to Shanxi! ! !

School booking office: Didn't you say that you obey the adjustment?

6. A man ventured alone in the forest and suddenly found himself surrounded by cannibals. So he shouted to the sky, "I'm dead, God help me!" " "I saw a voice falling from the sky at the first light:" Not necessarily, you can pick up a big stone on the ground and smash the leader to death. " So he picked up the biggest stone on the ground and threw it at the chief, just killing him. All the people stayed for a while, then glared at each other. At this moment, another voice came from the sky: "Now you are really dead. "

7. When someone was in his teens, he got up with his second uncle in the morning and went to the village next door to steal apples. After being discovered, he ran away quickly. The second uncle ran ahead, and someone found a half-burned wreath on a grave by the side of the road, so he picked it up and ran, trying not to be seen by the pursuers. Uncle secretary ran to look back. A half-burned wreath chased him and fainted on the spot! After staying at home for two months, I couldn't get out of bed. ...

8. People from four countries traveled by plane, and the plane suddenly overloaded. The pilot said: our plane is overweight now, and we must jump off a person. The Americans shouted "Long live the United States of America" and jumped off the plane. The driver said, it's still too heavy, and I have to jump another one. The British people shouted "Long live the Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland" and then jumped off the plane. At this time, the driver said that it was still heavy and he had to jump again. When the China people came out, the Japanese held the hand of the China people affectionately and said, "I will never forget the kindness of the people of China!" At this time, the people of China shouted: "Long live the people and country of China!" "Then he kicked the Japanese down. The next day, people from four countries traveled abroad by plane. Unexpectedly, the plane broke down. Americans say there are three parachutes here, and one of us must jump off the plane. The American said, "I'll give you a question, and whoever can't answer it will jump." All three people agreed. Americans ask China people, "How many suns are there in the sky? "China:" One. The American asked the Englishman, "How many moons are there in the sky?" "Englishman:" One. The American asked the Japanese, "How many stars are there in the sky?" Japanese: "…" The Americans kicked him down. On the third day, they traveled by plane again, and the plane broke down again. The American said, "There are only three parachutes here. Someone must get off the plane. As usual, it's my problem. Americans ask China people, "A few years ago, a huge passenger ship crashed. What's its name? China People: Titanic. The American asked the British, "How many people died in that accident?" "Britain:" 1503 people. "The Americans asked the Japanese again," What's the name of 1503? "Japan:" ... "The United States kicked the Japanese in the face and got off the plane. The fourth day, the four of them went on a trip again, and the plane broke down again. At this moment, the Americans came. Before speaking, Japan let out a cry, "Forget it, you don't have to kick me, I'll jump myself. "After that, he jumped off the plane. The American shouted at the door, "Shit, you are sick. There are five parachutes on the plane today! " "