Funny and funny routine words

Humorous and Cute Routine Discourses

Humorous and Cute Routine Discourses. Sometimes a joking remark can liven up the atmosphere. Such remarks are also very humorous. , can be used to relieve our stress. Here are some humorous and funny routines for you. Humorous and Cute Routines 1

1. After dinner, my husband suddenly picked up my mobile phone and started playing with it. I said: "Why are you playing with my mobile phone?" "The new mobile phone I bought for you will arrive tomorrow. , Can’t I get familiar with my new mobile phone first?” He was so confident that I couldn’t refuse.

2. "I don't have any hope for love now, I just want to get rich!" The person who said this is really young. You will know later that you can still think about love. Think about it, as for getting rich suddenly, don’t even think about it!

3. The desert is solitary and the smoke is straight, and the long river is full of sun. I was very touched. It would have been better if the dollar dropped at that time.

4. Young people drive like they don’t have much time left, while old people drive like they have the most time in the world.

5. A man can't find his girlfriend, so he has no choice but to go to fortune telling. Fortune teller: You are destined to have no women in the first half of your life. The man's eyes lit up: What about the second half of your life? The fortune teller said: You will get used to it in the second half of your life.

6. Every time I quarrel with my wife, she will be frightened by my loud voice. It was like this again today. After the quarrel, she came over and held my hand and said to me: "Husband, please don't do this in the future. You cried so loudly that the whole corridor heard you."

7. Once, my bus card was accidentally cracked and the chip could be seen, so I simply took out the chip. When I took the bus to work the next day, I used double-sided tape to stick the chip on my index finger. When I got on the bus, I tapped the card reader lightly with my index finger, and... I still can’t forget the shocked looks in the bus.

8. I was at work when my wife sent me two selfies in different clothes and asked me which one looked better. As someone who has experienced it, I understand that it is wrong to say that any one of them is beautiful, so I replied: They are all quite beautiful. My wife replied: Do you think so too? Then I bought both. I...

9. There was a power outage at home last night, but the neighbor's house had electricity. I called the electrician to come and take a look. After waiting for a long time, he didn't come in the end. When I met him the next day, I asked him: " Why didn't you come last night?" He said: "I went last night. I saw your house was dark and thought no one was there, so I left..."

10. I have been exercising diligently recently. I have lost weight. I lost a pound, can you tell the difference between me and before?

11. When I was in college, I thought I would spend my college life in an ordinary way. One winter was very cold. , I didn’t want to get up in the morning and go to self-study, so I asked my roommate to make up a random reason for me to ask for leave. In the afternoon, the news of my heat stroke spread throughout the campus.

12. When I was naughty, I was often beaten by my mother. A classmate taught me this trick. If you make a mistake, you must admit it first and pretend to hit yourself a few times. This way, your parents will see that you have a good attitude towards admitting your mistake. Hit you. One day I lost my temper again, and seeing my mother angrily coming to beat me, I quickly said with tears in my eyes, "Mom, I was wrong, I will never dare to do it again..." and then pretended to slap my butt. My mother looked at me contemptuously and said, "You are playing unprofessionally. Let me do it for you!" Sure enough, my mother was still playing professionally.

13. My 5-year-old daughter asked me: "Mom, how did I get here?" As usual, I said, "I picked it up from the trash!" She looked depressed and sighed. In a tone of voice, he said quietly: "What cruel parent would be willing to throw away such a beautiful child?"

14. Being a human is tiring, otherwise how can we call it human!

15. No. When you are full, you have only one worry; when you are full, you have countless worries. Humorous and Cute Routines 2

1. You were born great, but your life is miserable.

2. The directors who sit in the office building and wear suits and ties are so sophisticated that they have become masters.

3. Don’t always act cool in front of me. Don’t wait until I can’t help it anymore and I’ll really fuck you.

4. Since I got mental illness, I have become more energetic.

5. This world has too many routines and there are bad people out there.

6. This FMVP battle is finally coming to an end. It turns out that the previous games were all foreplay, and the routines were too deep!

7. The routines in "I Can't Get Married" are too deep, and I suddenly want to fall in love according to the coach's routines.

8. If one day I become a gangster, I will be the first to rape you.

9. There is no wall that is airtight, and there is no beam that cannot be hung.

10. I said that if I stay with you for the rest of my life, I will stay with you for the rest of my life. Don’t worry, I will still be with you even if I die.

11. I mistook routines for deep feelings and my heart is full of scars. The world laughs at me for being too naive. I laugh at the depth of the world.

12. We are like two parallel lines that can never intersect. One day the parallel lines bent.

13. I curse you for buying instant noodles without seasoning packets for the rest of your life.

14. There are so many traps in this world that I can’t stand it anymore.

15. It is easy to hide when you are exposed, but it is difficult to prevent when you are undercover.

16. Your complex facial features cannot hide your simple IQ

17. When will the bright moon appear, look up yourself.

18. I have little experience in the world and my routine is too deep. Before I have enough qualifications, I can only rely on my strength to speak for myself!

19. The ending is so unexpected and the routine is so deep that I have to accept it.

20. Just the right amount of tricks, just the right amount of pretense

21. When you see an injustice on the road, roar, then continue to move forward. Humorous and Cute Routines 3

1. Don’t compare yourself to me, I am lazy to you.

2. The soil is for digging, and the pit is for burying you.

3. God gave us seven emotions and six desires, but we turned them into pornography and violence.

4. The only advantage of being fat is that you can sit in the passenger seat when there are many people.

5. The perfect boyfriend: no smoking, no drinking, no cheating. Doesn't exist!

6. If my boss doesn’t give me a salary increase next month, I will resign. Before resigning, I will give him two Chinese coins and beat him to death.

7. You can chat with me, but I will not be responsible for your feelings.

8. When sisters go together for life, whoever betrays first becomes the dog!

9. I am not the Mona Lisa, there is no need to smile at everyone.

10. If you choose to skip the required courses, you must skip the elective courses.

11. If being rich is also a mistake, then I would rather make the same mistake again and again.

12. Don’t mess around with life, or life will mess you up.

13. "What is the broadest in the world?" "Exam scope."

14. Every time I receive a new book, I feel like I am opening my personal signature sale.

15. Your dad is in the army, right? He didn’t understand the virus when he was studying it, so he found out about you.

16. I don’t know what’s good about you, I just want to watch you take a shower.

17. Many people rely on their faces to make a living, but not me, I rely on my mouth.

18. I lie down on the book. It doesn’t matter whether I study or not. The key is to have an attitude.

19. When I miss you, you are in my heart. When I forget you, you will be left behind!

20. The alarm clock rang, waking me up with a heavy heart, but the alarm did not wake me up from my deep sleep.

21. Reading is the crystallization of diligence and wisdom. For you people, diligence is equal to zero, wisdom is equal to zero, and together they are always equal to zero.

Twenty-two, exams and mistresses are all of the same nature, aiming to destroy family harmony.

23. If my test scores could rise as fast as housing prices, how lovely this world would be.

24. For top academics, I just want to know: What happened in your junior high school to make you end up in the same school as me.

25. Knowing that all of you are learning to drive, I don’t dare to cross the road now.

26. Sometimes you shouldn’t challenge my patience because I am impatient.

27. Teacher, there are no beauties in our class. How can I be motivated to come to school? Humorous and Cute Routines 4

1. Getting rid of poverty is not as easy as losing hair, but gaining weight is far easier than getting rich.

2. God will close a security door for you and also give you a titanium alloy lock.

3. "If the person you like happens to like you too, do you know what that is called?" "That is called imagination."

4. They say fashion is a circle , when can we return to the Tang Dynasty and regard fatness as beauty?

5. In mathematics, three points are determined by nature, seven points depend on hard work, and there is really nothing you can do about the remaining 90 points.

6. Which is more important, the wife or the game? Answer: Of course, my wife is more important, so I only dare to play games, not my wife.

7. When it comes to weight loss, fat people never start, and thin people never give up.

8. Being fat is not a sin, it’s just that God is jealous that you will be too perfect if you lose weight.

9. In the future, when someone says, "Beat me to death if you don't obey," you must say coldly, "I'm sorry, I'm not interested in killing pigs."

10. I really envy those born in the Year of the Dog who can live for more than 20 years in a row. If they are lucky, they can live a lifetime!

11. Going online but not dating online is a waste of electricity. There is no love in eating chicken, it is a waste of money. The wealth does not go to outsiders. If you choose me for love, I am super sweet.

12. The Husky just has poor obedience. If it pees on the bed and bites the sofa or floor, don’t get angry or beat or scold it. It’s just too lonely and has no one to play with it. We need to be very careful. Patiently prepare some things, such as onions, ginger, garlic, salt, rice wine, soy sauce, and a pressure cooker.

13. "How can I get a man to come rain or shine, just a phone call away?" "Drinking, it's all women!"

14. Girlfriend said: Know me Before, I felt that there was no good man in the world; after getting to know me, I felt that all the good men in the world except me were good.

15. I saw an old woman lying on the ground today, and I was wondering whether to help her. Just when I was about to go up and help her, the old lady said: "Go away, poor boy, and don't disturb my business." . ”

16. Every time I log out of the system, I will be reminded that I will not be able to receive messages after logging out. I laughed, as if I could receive them online.

17. Among the two reincarnation options of "beautiful poor man" and "ugly rich man", most people decisively choose the option of "ugly poor man".

18. Education is your means of transportation. 985 is a supersonic plane, 211 is a civil airliner, one is high-speed rail, the second is ordinary express, the third is green, and a junior college is a motorcycle. .

19. Just eight words are enough to make a girl happy: beautiful, okay, buy, not fat, my fault.

20. I must save money well this month, go to bed early and get up early to run if I have nothing to do, that’s right. I still need to change my bad temper. If I can't do it, I'll do it again next month.

21. The farthest distance in the world is when I keep looking at you and you keep looking at me on the bus. I fall in love with you at first sight, but you hold your wallet tightly.

22. Three hundred Tang poems basically talk about three things: it’s so lonely in the palace, it’s so hard to fight, friends are coming, and friends say goodbye.

23. Before getting married, the man said that he would go to hell for her. After getting married, he discovered that he had really gone to hell.

24. I suddenly feel like I want to herd cows. There is no pressure in life, no routines, no love, hate, and hatred. I only care about whether my cows are still there. With my IQ, I only care about whether my cows are there or not. If you put one in there, I can’t count them if they are too many. It eats grass and I sleep.