Joke Collection Website - Joke collection - Funny sentences in the circle of friends

Funny sentences in the circle of friends

1. A hero does not care about the way out, and a rogue does not care about his age.

2. In life, weight does not matter

3. If you are sick, you treat the disease, but don’t come to me, I am not a veterinarian

4. South Korea The plastic surgery technology of China is not as good as that of China’s Meitu Xiuxiu.

5. If you think there is something wrong with me, please tell me. I won’t change it anyway, so don’t hold it in and get sick.

6. A daughter-in-law can depend on each other for a long time, but a horse cannot replace a wife

7. Everyone will get drunk if the wine is not drunk, you will get drunk and I will sleep afterward

8. You I have lived a comfortable life for a long time, and I have become desperate

9. Why do you like me? I am a freak like a primitive living in the new era

10. I believe in love , but the mother-in-law doesn’t believe it, so there’s nothing I can do about it, right?

11. Someone puts you in bed, someone puts you in bed.

12. If you hold another woman in your heart. Then, another man can sleep in my bed.

14. The ultimate dream in life is to have an ATM machine in the living room.

15. If I can’t die in her heart, then let her die in my hands.

16. An optimistic person will blow bubbles with his nose when he has a cold or a high fever. . .

17. I am my son’s passport, and my son is my epitaph.

18. Girl, after passing this village, there will be no more waiters in the shop.

19. Give me a fulcrum and I can pry your girlfriend away.

20. A friend came from afar without bringing any specialties.

21. Roar when you see injustice on the road, make a fool of yourself when it’s time to make a fool of yourself, and rush through Kyushu in a hurry.

22. Men are consumables, friends are necessities, and boyfriends are necessary consumables.

23. Holding a map in hand, but no destination in mind.

24. The rebirth of a phoenix is ??nirvana, and the rebirth of a pheasant is the transformation of a corpse.

25. At night when there are no orangutans, I will use monkeys to seduce you.

26. Keep the green hills and don’t let the firewood burn.

27. I was weaned early when I was a child. Can any kind person help me make up for this incomplete childhood?

28. A good girlfriend can save 200G of hard drive on your computer.

29. Why do I feel sleepy when I read a book? Because books are where dreams begin.

30. I only have eyes for you. Well, it turns out I’m just an eye peeper.

31. When money stands up and speaks, all truth goes to sleep.

32. The deal was not concluded and Renyi ran away. Groups of funny and philosophical sentences sent to the circle of friends

Selection of funny and philosophical sentences sent to the group of friends:

1. Comfort is useful-- -Can make pain clearer and doubled.

2. If you fall, get up and cry again~~~

3. Don’t be like the people on earth~~~

4. Smart people should be happy ---People who think they are smart often feel troubled.

5. Unrequited love is like a murder - if you are not careful, you will be exposed.

6. Time is the best teacher, but unfortunately he killed all his students in the end.

7. Animals only believe what they see, but people can see what they believe---happiness and troubles all come from this.

8. Studying Chinese for 10 years is not as good as chatting on QQ for half a year.

9. Safety instructions: First, beware of good-tempered people getting angry. Second, don’t compete with someone who has nothing to lose.

10. Make decisions with a pat on your head, make promises with a pat on your chest, and leave with a pat on your back.

11. If you wear the mask for too long, it will grow on your face. If you want to take it off again, you will have to peel off the skin by breaking your muscles and bones.

12. When we are young, we often make faces in the mirror; when we are old, the mirror is even.

13. Don’t be distracted by money when working, and money will come faster.

14. An iron pestle can be ground into a needle, but a wooden pestle can only be ground into a toothpick. If the material is not right, no matter how hard you try, it will be useless

15. Beautiful women will be honored wherever they go - --It's Xiaoguang who gets the advantage, but he suffers big losses.

16. A woman always wants to change the man she likes. When he really changes, she doesn’t like him anymore.

17. Young people don’t act recklessly and boldly. I wonder where the themes come from in old age.

18. The reason why social interaction is tiring is because everyone is trying to show qualities that they actually do not possess. Life is easy. Life is easy. Life is not easy.

19. There is no pretense on the stage of life - sooner or later everyone will really become the role he plays every day.

20. I thought I was decadent, but today I found out that I was already scrapped.

21. There is no such thing as exclusivity in the world---it's just the price you pay for what you want.

22. Apart from teeth, the most inextricable thing in the world is love.

23. The only thing in the world that becomes better and better as time goes by is memories.

24. Why sleep for a long time before you are alive? You will sleep forever after death

Two selections of funny and philosophical sentences to send to group friends:

1 The same thing between a wife and a computer: we can’t understand the communication language between computers at all.

2. There are only two things I can’t do in my life, that is, I can’t do this and I can’t do that!

3. Don’t think that by inserting your penis into the soil, you have raped the earth.

4. I am not a casual person. When I am casual, I am not a human being.

5. I would rather you hold other women and miss me than you hold me and miss other women.

6. The butterfly counts not the months, but the moments. The butterfly has enough time.

7. I am the hoe, and you are the noon.

8. I know that more than half of my efforts are useless, but I don’t know which half.

9. We move too fast, and our souls can’t keep up.

10. Women don’t care about being decent, because they are not tempted enough; men don’t care about being loyal, but they are loyal because the stakes for betrayal are too low.

11. According to my observation, handsome men all say that they are not handsome. This is a classic statement, so I also feel that I am not handsome.

12. I put the TV remote control on my waist and pretended to have bought a new mobile phone.

13. The one riding the white horse may not be a prince, he may be Tang Monk; the one with wings may not be an angel, my mother said, it is a bird man.

14. Love is poison. The sugar coating is so wonderful. Just taste it and stop. Drink it and you will lose your life.

15. Can you speak Chinese in English? Otherwise, don’t say anything.

16. Remember what should be remembered and forget what should be forgotten. Change what can be changed and accept what cannot be changed.

17. If you want to be prominent in front of others, you will have to suffer behind others.

18. The two chief surnames are the most difficult to call: the chief surname is Fu (deputy), and the deputy chief is surnamed Zheng (right).

19. The hair is gone, and the dandruff is even more outstanding!

20. What I have always regretted is what I have not done with you, not what I have done with you. .

21. I allow you to enter my world, but you are not allowed to walk around in it.

22. When a person realizes that a diamond is more valuable than a glass ball, this person has sadly grown up.

23. I planted a girlfriend in the spring, and harvested a bunch of wives in the autumn.

24. If we attack Taiwan, I will donate one month’s living expenses. If we attack the United States, I will donate one year’s living expenses. If we attack Japan, I will donate my fucking life!

25. No matter where you are. Whether you are going uphill or downhill, you must know how to stop yourself when appropriate. The purpose of stopping and looking back is to move forward better.

26. Driving on the road is not difficult, as long as there are new people.

27. Loneliness is the carnival of one person; carnival is the loneliness of a group of people.

28. Some people look much better when wearing facial masks than in real life.

29. Smart women deal with men, and stupid women deal with women.

30. Dissatisfaction is a suspended replacement, which makes people constantly have the desire to climb up in comparison.

31. Silence does not simply mean not speaking. People who cannot keep calm are prone to failure. Timely silence is a kind of wisdom, a skill, and a mentality of having an advantage.

32. Some disappointments are inevitable, but most of them are because you overestimate yourself.

33. Go your own way and let others take a taxi.

34. You can live like a pig, but you can never be as happy as a pig!

35. Women are divided into married and unmarried, and men are divided into voluntary There are two types of marriage and forced marriage.

36. Celebrities say that ordinary people’s lives are boring, while ordinary people think that celebrities’ lives are too tiring. The shorter the sentences when posting funny comments on Moments, the better

The shorter the sentences when posting funny comments on Moments, the better:

1. I am not good-looking, but I'm not as free as you are.

2. My mother only gave birth to me. You can do the math to see who I am.

3. For those manufacturers of condoms, don’t always focus on producing ultra-thin condoms. There is a market for ultra-thick condoms. It doesn’t matter if the price is more expensive. After all, dignity is more valuable to a man. !

4. You must study history carefully, maybe you will travel through time that day

5. I shook my head in a cool way, and the wig fell out.

6. Hypocritical boys, when they see an ugly girl, they say they borrowed it, and when they see a beautiful girl, they ask if we have met before

7. The highest state of a woman is that of a fairy, but you have become Became a monster

8. If there is love in heaven, die early, live great, and die under the flowers.

9. Can I touch your school badge? You actually talked about your breasts in such a fresh and refined manner

10. What kind of sleeping position is the most rocking, what? This kind of hairstyle is the happiest.

11. If anyone dares to disturb my homework again, I will play with him.

12. I can’t tell whether I am too strong or I am simply heartless.

13. I am the ideal of pork. The life of cabbage will always be vinegar. I wish I could be braised in soy sauce once.

14. How do you know what is best if you don’t miss some crooked melons and cracked dates?

15. What I hate the most is when someone tells me the way, they say southeast, northwest, and you can’t say before and after.

16. The story of Meng’s mother moving three times actually shows that she had a good son. If it were me, it would be useless to move a hundred times!

17 , Let's see, if you dare to eat outside secretly, I will dare to drink secretly outside.

18. Living is not the last word, living and persevering is the right way.

19. We are chasing time every day, but we cannot measure the distance between Monday and Friday.

20. If children in this country no longer have innocence, then The future of this country must lack imagination.

21. Check the time not to get up, but to see how long you can sleep.

22. They say women are made of water, but water pollution has been so serious recently

23. Your advantage is that you are useless at critical times.

24. You can lie to me once, but please don’t doubt my IQ and lie to me again and again.

25. There will always be a few days in this year when I have no money when I go out and have nothing to do at home.

26. The virus fell in love with me Computer, I can only fulfill them

27. You healed a blind man that day. When he saw you, he begged you to turn him back to blindness.

Twenty-eight. It’s not that I don’t want to be a lady, but the world has forced me to become a shrew!

Twenty-nine. The most powerful thing about me is that I don’t rely on cigarettes. Wine can also be a rogue and artistic person.

Thirty. I feel that the brightest smile in my life is probably dedicated to my mobile phone and computer screen.

Thirty-one. Living alone, living two people, The three of them are fighting to the death.

Thirty-two, don’t lift yourself up so high, be careful if it falls and kills you

Two selections of funny sentences to post on Moments:

1. The world is so beautiful, but you are so irritable. This is not good, not good.

2. What is cruel? For a man, I will break three of his legs; for a male dog, I will break his five legs.

3. The lost happiness is like the chrysanthemum on your asshole. It is often only when you have diarrhea that you feel it blooms particularly brilliantly.

4. Life is like Super Girl, and those who survive to the end are pure men.

5. When I was in elementary school, I loved to sleep in class. Once, the Chinese teacher assigned me an assignment to write an essay. The title was (If I were a spider). After class, I asked my classmates. I racked my brains at home at night and wrote an article (If I Were a Pig). Later I became famous in school.

6. I look forward to the end of class when I go to class, and look forward to vacation when I go to school. I have always been very persistent in my goals.

7. God has deceived everyone, because hell is the most beautiful! Buddha knows the truth, so Buddha said: If I don’t go to hell, who will?

8. The more people I meet, the more I love animals.

9. I said: Have a life outside of work! So, there was overtime.

10. When I am particularly sleepy, my moral standards are not awakened. Teachers should be careful.

11. It’s none of my business if you hate me, as if you like me will sublimate my life.

12. Please remember that I am a cold person, please do not be fooled by my frequent madness.

13. A best friend is that person who is stupid with you or is stupider than you when you are stupid.

14. There are two kinds of creatures in the world that can lie on glass, one is the gecko and the other is the class teacher.

15. Your vagina is too hard, and mine is too wet. It seems that it is not easy to get the pot noodles.

16. If you continue to ignore me, I will become a steamed bun, and the most famous one in Tianjin.

17. Every sentence of labor and management is written for you to read. There is news all over the world, but you have no reaction.

18. When I had no money to eat, you hid the money to accompany me when I was hungry, which means that we are friends.

19. I will try my best to become the kind of person you like, and then I will never be with you until I die.

20. After the haircut, the barber asked how it was. I was silent for a while and said to him: As long as you are happy.

21. Fellow students in the next class, tell me which senior you like, and I will tell her boyfriend.

22. Your appearance is not allowed in my world. Get out of my defense line with your hypocrisy.

23. Making money is a kind of ability, spending money is a kind of technology. My ability is limited, but my technology is quite awesome.

24. If it is my fault that I am not dead, then please welcome me in the eighteenth level of hell.

25. The two saddest things in the sports meeting: the house leaks and it rains all night, and the finals coincides with the aunt.

26. Girl, it’s better to open your mouth and say dirty words when I’m angry, rather than crying and crying.

27. I just want to be a quiet academic master, but reality tells me that I can only be a funny academic scumbag.

28. Please remember, kid, being overly modest is not called elegance, it is called incompetence.

29. Can you give me a pair of eyes that can pry into people’s hearts, so that I can I can no longer bear the taste of betrayal.

30. The kind of female man who can be hard, soft, playful, coquettish or arrogant is the most worthy of your possession.

31. The best best friends: one funny, one beautiful, one a top student, and one a tomboy.

32. When you are lying on someone else’s bed, don’t forget that I taught you that position.

33. Maybe I might have cried yesterday, but not only will I not cry today, but I will also let a bitch cry for me! Funny sentences to say in Moments 2020 Good and funny sentences to say in Moments

1. My husband and I were separated. Every time I missed my wife, I could only smoke silently. After one year, I successfully quit smoking.

2. What’s wrong with being fat, what’s wrong with having no money, what’s wrong with being non-mainstream, so you have to raise your head and let them see that you are not only short and poor, but also ugly. . .

3. I want to share everything with you, because apart from you I can never find another woman who matches me.

4. One-sentence funny signature: I am not Youlemei, I am just dichlorvos. Do you want to hold me in the palm of your hand?

5. We have finally become what the teacher calls the magical last class of students.

6. If I don’t grow up, mom and dad, can you not grow old?

7. On Chinese Valentine’s Day, I stayed at home and played with each other for a day, clicking the mouse, Light up a pair, and a pair, and another pair.

8. I’m not beautiful, I’m not tall, I don’t have good grades, I’m not excellent, I’m poor, haha, it doesn’t matter. I’m still young and time will make me change and my future will shine.

9. I have always had a doubt in my mind. For 5 years, exactly 5 years, what does the gray wolf eat to survive?

10. Go your own way and let others take a taxi. Bar.

11. Anyway, there are two kinds of people who can play with me, one is the one who can tolerate my psychosis, and the other is the one who is as neurotic as me.

12. No matter how the wheel of history rolls forward, my three-ring traffic will not move at all.

13. You sneaked into my room, got on my bed, wandered around me, and wanted to kiss me. Damn, slap you to death, you damn mosquito!

14 . Don’t despise me when being noble doesn’t work. I’ll give you a number plate, queue up first, and then despise me when it’s your turn.

15. You agreed not to make me cry, but you f*cking smoke me with onions.

16. Most people only do three things in their lives: deceiving themselves and being deceived by others.

17. The villain is shameless and values ??profit over death. If you are not afraid of people's execution, you will not care about material discussions. Sentences that satirize villains

18. Half of the world is laughing at the other half, but in fact the whole world is a fool

19. Maybe you have given everything, but maybe in his eyes you are still Not worth mentioning

20. On Chinese Valentine's Day, lovers will eventually get married, but without lovers, they will suffer for life

21. The most regrettable thing in life is to give up easily and shouldn't give up. , stubbornly insisted on what should not be insisted on.

22. The owner of the machine is running naked. The owner of the machine has run out of the service area.

23. Your every move, your voice and your smile, are running rampant in my mind, leaving me scarred

24. I am who I am, either love me or get out, don’t think you are wrong How valuable is mom?

25. The test does not measure grades, but the signal of China Mobile.

26. It’s not that I don’t want to be a lady, it’s that life has forced me to become a shrew.

27. When I have money, I will buy two lollipops, one for you to watch me eat, and the other for you to watch

28. School Ah, although you got my person, you couldn't get my heart.

29. Hi! Brother, why are you developing more horizontally than vertically?

30. We almost live the most festivals in the world, but we almost have the least Fake.

31. If you have money, anything you say is the last word; if you don’t have money, anything you say is bragging

32. The success of a woman is to shape her man into a more attractive person. Many women like it.

33. When you hear the ticking of the clock, time passes so fast.

34. The latest insightful and humorous saying: Does being able to eat well count as a superpower?

35. I think girls wearing school uniforms and no makeup are more beautiful than wearing miniskirts and strapless vests More

36. After all, this is not a society where people love bitches, so you’d better restrain yourself.

37. Instead of regretting yesterday with tears, it is better to fight for today with sweat.

38. My goal is to search my personal information on Baidu.

39. The dissolved magnificence is deposited in the shadow of prosperity and reality.

40. Before speaking, listen first; before responding, think first; before consuming, earn first; before quitting, try first.