What is the funniest thing in history?

1. A classmate, the teacher asked him what is 1+1 =, but he said he didn't know. The teacher asked him to go home and ask his parents. He went back to ask his mother, who was playing mahjong, and told him that he had had a 7-year-old beard this evening, and he went to ask his father again. His father was reading the newspaper, saying that the news was told by American President Leighton, and he went to ask his sister. He ran up and asked his brother, who was talking to his girlfriend, dear: marry me! The next day, the teacher asked him what's 1+1 =. He said * * * Hu Hu 7 Hu, and asked him who said that. He said that US President Ronald Reagan said that, and the teacher then slapped him. He said that it was so cool! The teacher slapped him again, and he said, honey, marry me! 2. The Zhao family has a stupid daughter-in-law, who likes to follow everything, but she always makes the most fool of herself. Once, Sun's daughter-in-law went to raise cattle and saw others beating their cows. She stormed forward: "You beat our cow and killed the cow I wanted you to be." After the news came out, others said that his family had a clever daughter-in-law. When the stupid daughter-in-law of the Zhao family knew it, she said indifferently, "What's the matter? I will." Once he saw someone beating her husband, she thought my place had come, so she went up and said angrily, "You killed my husband and I want you to be my husband." Everyone laughed. 3. One day, a man went to his fiancee's house to play. It rained heavily when he left at night, and his fiancee advised him to stay for the night. Then he went to prepare bedding. The fiancee is ready, only to find her fiance missing. After a long time, he came back drenched like a drowned rat. The fiancee asked in surprise, "Where have you been?" Out of breath, he replied, "I, I went home to get my pajamas." 4. Liu Bei's father said, I'm Liu's father. Guan Yu's father said, I'm Guan's father. Zhang Fei's father said, I'm Zhang's father. Wang Peng's father said, I'll go first. 5. At the tea party, a woman asked the person sitting next to her, "Who's that ugly guy across the street? ""It's my brother, "the man replied. The woman who asked questions looked very embarrassed and tongue-tied. After a while, she stammered," I'm so stupid. Your brothers look alike. Why didn't I see it? " "6. There was an honest man who couldn't tell lies, so he wanted to be taught to lie by one of the best liars in the village. After the liar taught him for more than a month, he told the honest man to tell a lie. Do you know what that honest man said He said, "Hey hey! Tell you, I am dumb! " 7. The introducer took a cigarette and then asked, "Girl, what's your initial impression of that man?" Girl: "He talks like you smoke." Introducer: "Natural, chic?" Girl: "no, speak hesitatingly!" " People = eating+sleeping+going to work+playing, pigs = eating+sleeping, substituting: people = pigs+going to work+playing, that is, people-playing = pigs+going to work. Conclusion: People who don't know how to play = pigs who can go to work = eating+sleeping+earning pigs = eating+sleeping men = pigs+earning pigs = men- Women = eat+sleep+spend money. Pig = eat+sleep. Substitute the above formula: woman = pig+spend money. Transferred items: women-spend money = pigs. Conclusion: All women are pigs without spending money. To sum up: men make money to keep women from becoming pigs! Women spend money to keep men from becoming pigs! Man+woman = two pigs 8. A company recruits a female secretary and asks a psychologist to be a staff member. The question is how much is 2 plus 2? The first answer is equal to 4; The second answer is equal to 22; The third answer is equal to 4 or 22. The psychologist said: "The first woman is practical but conservative; The second is a fantasy; The third one is the most suitable. " Then ask the general manager how to decide. The general manager thought for a moment and said, "It's better to wear tights." 9. Three people bragged about their aphrodisiac. A said: The male rabbit ate my medicine and made the female donkey pregnant. B said: My medicine made the male monkey and elephant give birth to baby elephants. C said: I dropped the medicine into the noodle pot and all the noodles stood up. 1. One day, a man went to an uninhabited beach and suddenly wanted to swim, but he didn't bring his swimsuit. When he looked around, he stripped naked and swam naked. While swimming, I suddenly saw a woman coming this way in the distance. He immediately ran to the shore, but it was too far away from the place where he put his clothes. Seeing that the woman was about to see him, he was in a hurry, lying on the sand and covering his body with his hand, but the little JJ was not covered. This woman walked here and saw that there was a little JJ on the sand. It was true to kick it with his feet and said, "Hey, this thing is also wild." 11. The car driven by a businessman suddenly broke down during the trip. It was late, and he found a house not far away, so he went to knock on the door for lodging. It was a beautiful young woman who opened the door. She said that there was no one else at home and she was feeling lonely. She was very welcome. After the young woman treated him to dinner, she arranged for him to rest next door to her bedroom. But he thought of the hostess's words, and thought of her beauty in parallel, so he couldn't sleep. Just when I was dreaming, there was a gentle knock on the door. Dressed in pajamas, the beautiful hostess stood at the door with a smile and said, "sir, don't you feel lonely alone?" Would you like someone to sleep with you? " "Of course, Qian Qian is absolutely willing!" He was almost mad with joy. "That's great!" She said, "It happened that another gentleman's car broke down. Come here for the night, so you can sleep in the same room!" " 12. Who has no shit since ancient times, and who doesn't use paper to shit? If you don't use toilet paper, maybe you are using your fingers.