Is it useful to fight hard in love?

In the world of adults, there are thousands of love routines, but one trick will never go out of fashion, and that is the well-known "playing hard to get". Although at first glance, this trick is very old-fashioned and lacks originality, you can't deny that many people still eat this set of "playing hard to get". So why is "playing hard to get" so useful in interpersonal relationships?

Let's see what kind of psychology it is to play hard to get. On the surface, playing hard to get means deliberately letting your opponent go, letting him relax his vigilance, fully exposing himself, and then catching him.

Extending to feelings means deliberately creating an indifferent or indifferent attitude, giving the other party a vague and distant feeling, and then unconsciously guiding the other party to care about and value themselves, so as to achieve the purpose of firmly trapping the other party's mind.

From the perspective of love psychology, "playing hard to get" is actually the use of "push and pull" in the relationship between men and women. The so-called "grasping" means "pulling" and "vertical" means "pushing", that is, pushing each other away to achieve the purpose of bringing the relationship closer. This is a clever emotional strategy.

But "push and pull" is not just a usage of "playing hard to get". As long as we can make good use of the "push-pull" skills in feelings, we can effectively promote and maintain a relationship.

Having said that, "push and pull" is not a simple matter. Many people don't know what "push" and "pull" mean, then unconsciously push the other half too far or too close, and finally have emotional problems. In the final analysis, "push and pull" in feelings is a technical activity, which requires a good grasp and a clear consciousness.

Next, I will talk about how to make good use of the "push-pull" technique in feelings.

Generally speaking, "pushing" in feelings is easier to achieve than "pulling", because pushing is an venting, hurtful and unskilled behavior, which is relatively labor-saving; And "pulling" is a spontaneous behavior, which requires initiative, skill, patience and hard work, and it is laborious.

In addition, pushing and shoving actions are common in feelings, such as making trouble, accusing, denying, suppressing, quarreling, cold war, belittling and controlling. These behaviors are negative at first glance and are not worth advocating, but in feelings, it is not completely wrong to push your partner away.

You know, a proper temper can let the other half know your principles and bottom line, a proper quarrel with the other half can let you express your thoughts, a proper act can make your other half care more about you, all of which can make your plain love life more flavorful, make your life more ups and downs, and prevent each other from looking at each other in a long trivial life.

But it should be noted that if you just push the other half out without pulling him back, then these pushing actions will gradually destroy your feelings.

For example, when you get along, you always lose your temper, and the other half always needs to comfort you and take care of you, but rarely cares about the feelings of the other half. If he is sad, you won't comfort him, but only let him tolerate you and compromise you. Then under the long-term efforts and compromise of the other half, he will feel that you don't love him, and his heart will become very tired, and then he will have the idea of leaving you.

Therefore, after pushing away our other half, we still need to observe the changes of his mood and mentality, and then pull him back in time, give him care and love, and give him a "self-esteem massage" to make him feel needed, affirmed and loved, instead of letting him hang around for too long, otherwise he will completely lose his heart.

If you want to pull your partner back, you need to learn skills such as expressing love, meeting the needs of the other half, providing emotional value, affirmation and praise for the other half. The formation of these abilities takes time and process, and we must not rush into it.

May you cherish the people you love, learn to love, give love and reap love.