Joke Collection Website - Joke collection - Wu Song's Tiger Fighting Route
Wu Song's Tiger Fighting Route
Peking Opera is a very representative drama art form in China.
B that's right, so everyone likes to listen.
A I know Beijing opera very well.
B What kind of music do you sing?
I was born, born, born, born, born, born, born, born, born, born, born, born, born, born, born, born,
B Hey, you can do anything!
You're welcome. I am a generalist.
B How about we perform together today?
A Yes, which one shall we sing?
Let's sing "Song Wu defeated the tiger".
A OK, who are you playing?
B I plays Song Wu.
What about me?
Aren't you a generalist? How about a bartender in front, a tiger hunter in the middle and a Yanggu county magistrate in the back?
A no problem.
Please help me put the table back.
Delimit the performance area.
B I will play Song Wu, you hit me.
It's good. (Hit a guy with his mouth)
B (singing) "I'm going back to my hometown when I leave Chaijiazhuang, because my brother doesn't care about running around my hometown with the moon and stars on his back."
A "good wine wow-"(weak at the end)
B this hasn't eaten yet!
A ... (hitting people)
B (singing) "listen to the bartender repeatedly shouted. Bartender! "
A "coming! There are three bowls of wine outside the door, but they won't let the gang go. Would you like something to drink? Comrade! "
Comrade b? You should call me the guest officer.
Oh, you are objective, and I am subjective?
B This is Song Wu.
Then I'm fluffy.
B I is Songhua.
I have a small belly.
Stop singing! Who did you learn this play from?
A Then who did you learn it from?
B I learned it from Mr. Li Wanchun, a Peking Opera performer.
A we're about the same.
Who did you learn from?
A Li Guyi.
B cough! You have to say, "guest, do you drink?"
A "guest officer, do you drink?"
B "That's right."
"Please go inside."
B "lead the way."
A (slaps the guy in the mouth, leads the way, and B takes a seat) "What do you want to use, sir?"
B "I want to drink."
A "not for sale"
b "?"
Toothache?
B "Don't be afraid that I have no money! You see, I have scattered silver here. "
A "silver?"
B "That's right."
Do you have foreign exchange certificates?
b? Does Song have foreign exchange certificates? You have to say it.
A "You don't know, guest. Now there is a mouse in Jingyanggang."
B rat?
A "yes!"
B is a tiger.
"Yes, there is a tiger."
B "What is the tiger afraid of? I have a whistle stick here, how can I accommodate it! "
A sentence "oh! Sir, you can't beat this tiger! "
B "why?"
A "amazing!"
B "What do you think?"
"What do you think of it? ..... like you, he can't eat a midnight snack! "
"That's all the more reason to throw it away."
Answer: "I advise you to do one more thing!" "
B (laughs) "Ha ha ha ..."
A (misunderstanding) came to mind.
B "humph!" (On striking table, A is startled) "Hang it all! Since there are tigers hurting people in Jingyanggang, I want to drink more wine and increase my physical strength. Jingyanggang killed the tiger, and I want to kill the people. Bartender! "
A "yes"
B "You just bring wine?"
A "yes!" (Hit the guy in the mouth and raise the plastic beer) "Please use it, guest officer!"
B (inexplicably watching the beer go up) "Ah! Restaurant, what is this? "
A glass of "Qingdao beer"
B Does anyone drink beer in Songwu?
A "What would you like to drink?"
B "I must drink white wine."
Answer: "If you want to drink white wine, there is another rule."
B "What rules?"
A "I have to get a dish."
B "take a dish? What dish do you want? "
A "five catties of peanut beans, ten catties of elephant skin fish."
B "ah! This dish is much more expensive than wine. "
Answer "Don't drink if you are afraid!"
B "Stop nagging and bring the good wine quickly!"
A "If you want to drink good wine, don't sell it, at least three liters."
B "why?"
Answer "three liters is not a mountain."
B no, it should be three bowls
A: "I said sell it here."
b? Are you going to get me drunk?
A "It's best to get drunk, so you don't have to go up the mountain to shoot tigers!"
B: Why are you always afraid of me hitting the tiger?
This is a notice from the county government. (takes out a piece of paper)
B "Show me!"
"Look at the guest officer."
B (reading) "Tigers eat people, so be careful, don't move, and offenders will be fined. What nonsense! " (Shredded and thrown on the ground)
A "hey? Why did you tear it? Please drink, sir! "
B "ok, (raises the beer liter) wait for me to drink a liter!" " How embarrassing this is!
A you won't feel bad after drinking it!
second
(Raise the beer to drink. A squats under B and opens his mouth to take a drop of wine) "It's really good wine!" (singing and blowing) "a pot of pulp can't help but make people feel refreshed. Let's have a good drink. "
"Good wine. (Unstable) Can I look like this if it's not good wine? (picks up the wine and looks up) Oh! Drink up! This is really drinkable, please have another liter. "
B "Restaurant, I'm leaving!"
"The guest officer a! Jingyanggang really has tigers! "
B "Restaurant, I really met a tiger when I came to Jingyanggang this time. I will go back to your hotel. "
first
"What, you will come back when you meet a tiger in Jingyanggang? Yes, you're back, and so is the tiger. I tell you, there are instructions in the county that there are tigers on the mountain and tourists are not allowed to pass alone. "
B "How many people can be released?"
A "At least one company has armed protection, so you have to pay the protection fee."
/kloc-where do more than 0/00 people live? "
"We have a superior room in Jingyanggang Hotel."
B "high room?"
A: "It's really good light. There are wooden floors, Simmons soft beds, flower walls, down pillows and velvet quilts. If you want to take a bath, you can take a bath, adjust the radio by phone, turn on the color TV and watch a play. There are fans in winter and heating in summer. "
b! I am so hot!
A "No, there is a fan in summer and heating in winter."
B that's more like it.
A "how"?
B "They dare to make money with tigers!"
"Then you can stay"!
B "I'm leaving!"
A "Are you really leaving?"
B "I really want to go."
A "Then let's get to the bottom of it!"
B What do you mean by Gu Dabai? "Go!"
A (picks up beer as intercom) "00 1, 00 1 I'm 003, I'm 003."
B He also has a radio station here!
A: "Attention, attention, a tiger killer has escaped to you. I hope you will take strict precautions! Strictly guard against it! "
This is good, not for the tiger, but for Song Wu!
A "If he wants to get rid of tigers, we can't make money."
B It looks like they're all hooked.
A "00 1, 001..."
Stop yelling, you tiger, it's time to play!
A: You can play Yin Gong! (B hits the guy, A yawns like a tiger on the court) "I got up late again today!"
B it really sleeps!
"ouch! This guy is fat enough! "
What is it whispering about?
A: "It seems that I can't eat a meal. It doesn't matter. The rest is in my electric refrigerator. "
This tiger's home is electrified! (Debut in armor)
A "Wait, look at this big fellow, strong, with a hand-held whistle stick, thick and fat, and his forehead is shiny."
B hey! This tiger can still make it!
Don't eat him, and then let him hit me. (Greetings B) Hello! Gu De Mao Ning! "
Oh, foreign tigers!
"First of all, introduce myself, I, obstacles, the god of wealth in our county. Don't worry, I won't eat you unless you hit me. We were born once and met twice. How about a peaceful place? Dude? "
B "dude? Try to fight! "
A "DuDu ... pause, if you really hit me, I will eat you. If I don't eat you, I am sorry to protect my brothers. "
Oh, this tiger is just like them.
"Ow-er" (tiger barks)
B "try to play." (Two people start work, three punches kill the tiger, Song Wu closes the situation)
A (living with death) "Song Wu!"
B (startled) "hey? Why are you alive again? "
A "Tell you what: You can't be a hero if you kill me."
B "what?"
A sentence "You have destroyed the ecological balance! They won't spare you if I die! "
Stop yelling. Orion, it's time to play!
A OK, you can show another picture (B appears) (A few boards) "As soon as the phone was answered, I hurried out. Hey! Stop fighting! "(backward)
B (inexplicably) "What's the matter?"
A "I asked you, did the tiger scold you?"
B "nothing."
A "Did it steal from you?"
B "nothing."
A: "Is there a third party involved?"
B ... this tiger is still stretching its legs! "Nothing."
A "Then why did you hit it?"
B "Just because tigers eat people!"
A "nonsense! What does a tiger eat when it is hungry? I see, you want to show off, want to be advanced, want to be a hero, you want to ... "
B "What do you think?"
A "Let's talk about it when I think about it."
B Oh, I don't know.
"This tiger doesn't move anywhere!"
B "I just want to touch the tiger's ass."
A "Is that place just for fun? That's a restricted area! "
B "Forbidden Area" I killed tigers! "
(one leng) "Oh, dead! I am late. (crying) ouch! Aren't you killing me? My tiger wow! "
Why are you crying?
Answer: "If the tiger dies, we will lose our jobs!"
B "Are you unemployed?"
Answer: "With this tiger, we people have jobs. The county reports to the superior, asking for special funds, getting paid every month and receiving subsidies every day! Protect this tiger at work every day. Sit when you are tired, squat when you are tired, squat when you are tired, lie down when you are tired, lie down when you are tired, and take a big top when you are tired. "
B I see if you are full?
A "Now we are looking for a tigress!"
What's the matter?
A couple of "married couples!"
A pair of b's?
A (singing) "The tigers in the tree are in pairs."
Tiger B is in the tree!
A "There are many tigers under the tree."
B where are there so many little tigers?
A "The big tiger gave birth to the little tiger, and the little tiger gave birth to the little tiger; My son takes my class, my grandson takes my son's class, and our children and grandchildren are endless. "
A bunch of lazy people!
A (tie B) "Go!"
B "where to go!"
"Go to the county town for a lawsuit in the morning."
B "I miss Song Wu. I'm not even afraid of tigers, and I'm afraid of being an official!"
"Cut the crap and let's go."
B "I hit the tiger wrong?" Who am I provoking? "
A (walking in the circus) "Here we are, wait for me to play the drums."
Go ahead.
"Knock, knock!"
Why does this drum smell like this?
"Tell me to leak!"
Who told you to work so hard! It's time for you to be a county magistrate.
I challenge you to hit that guy! "aha! Yesterday, yesterday, I had a dream in Conan. I'm sweating like a pig and my heart is churning. My left eye jumps and my right eye jumps. I'm afraid something will happen today. " (Turning to sit down) "Who is complaining?"
What kind of bird is this?
"Who are you?"
B "The villain's surname is Wu"
A "Why did Orion sue you?"
B "Just because the tiger in Jingyanggang hurt people, it was killed by a villain!"
A "What are you going to say?"
B "killed by a villain!"
"Kill a? ! "(spasm)
B "Master, wake up!"
Answer "Never mind, I have nitroglycerin here."
B "This master has coronary heart disease!"
A ... (takes out the medicine and throws it in his mouth)
B "I said, what about you, sir?"
"Du! Bold! Bold! Bold! Tianjin steamed stuffed bun! "
B cough!
"You know what? This tiger is a cash cow in the county. "
B "The county is also pointing to the tiger alive."
A "that's true. It provides assistance to victims every year. There is also the cost of preventing tigers, adding people to tigers ... "
B "Add people to the tiger?"
A "more tigers help more."
B "What about nagas?"
A "tiger tamer"
B "Who is it?"
A "Pan Jinlian"
Wow! Listen, look for this guy.
"Besides, the tiger is my cornucopia. With it, Orion gave me a gift and wine guaranteed me a part-time job. ……"
"What does that have to do with you?"
A "Sir, I am the honorary chairman of Jingyanggang Hotel."
This is backstage.
A (indignant) "It's all over now ..." (crying) "All the street service classes three stand still."
B what?
A "silence for the unfortunate death of the old tiger on which we all depend!" (Put a hat on your head)
B what virtue is this!
A (humming a sad song) (singing) "The tiger is six and a half years old. He has contributed to this country all his life. Today, he was killed innocently. Live in my heart forever. "
B hey! He wrote lyrics about joys and sorrows.
A "Song Wu, do you know about crime?"
B "What's wrong with the villain?"
A "listen!"
B "Go ahead!"
A (singing Xipi running water board) "Song Wu, it is unreasonable for you to do so. You passed the county illegally, got drunk and rushed into the restricted area, killing Tiger. Tiger and I have friendship. It, it, it ... didn't recruit you, didn't provoke you, didn't eat you, didn't hurt you, didn't scold you, and died honestly. Now that Orion's bartenders are suing you, your income is a problem. For the economic benefit of our county, you, you, you ... you gave me a tiger hat, whiskers on my cheeks, tiger teeth on my mouth, and a tiger skin, dressed one by one, and lined up to take the place of tigers. If you don't ... "
B "What's the matter?"
A loud "hum! You give me a little tiger. "
b?
"I will spare you."
B: Fuck you!
/u76/v_Mzg5MzgyMTc.html
- Previous article:502 humorous sentences
- Next article:Why is Momosuke in One Piece so wild for women and so gentle for men?
- Related articles
- How to chat with married women
- What is the matching probability between Aquarius boys and Gemini girls?
- What kind of bullying occurs in the name of joking?
- What kind of TV is this from Yoon Eun Hye?
- Chinese diary?
- Eating a plate of cucumber mixed with cold dishes mixed with Chili oil (Laoganma) will make you fat?
- You know nothing about love. What about love?
- Which is more expensive, Weihai or Jining?
- Buy lottery tickets and send humor to talk about money.
- It takes a long story to tell a joke.