Tell me a funny joke, the kind that is really, really funny, and I still feel funny when I think about it. Only one. The key is funny! !

Jokes 2065438+2005 10 The funniest jokes.

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1. A schoolmate asked me why I haven't fallen in love since I was a senior in high school. I told him, "Pick up girls with your heart or your kidneys. If you take the heart, you will lose it, and if you take the kidney, you will lose it. " Think about what you said is really reasonable!

I went shopping with my girlfriend and saw many people selling fruits and flowers on the roadside. I took her hand and said affectionately, "Dear, do you know that boys will send fruits and flowers to their beloved girls on Christmas Eve?" Girlfriend nodded shyly. I went on to say, "If I had known that we would also wholesale some safe fruits and flowers to sell, the business would be very good."

When I was a child, there was no electricity. On summer nights, I always sleep on the roadside with straw mats and old sheets. A platoon can sleep dozens of people, and one buddy died especially when he slept. When he falls asleep, his friends will pick him up from under the mat and put him directly in the middle of the grave. ...

Wake up the next day and run home naked!

Xiaoming was invited to a wedding banquet, and he didn't often contact his classmates. No matter what he thinks, he thinks the bride is a man. He said to an old man next to him, "More and more homosexuals are getting married now. The guy in the wedding dress is really big. " Old man: "Say it again, that's my daughter!" " "Xiao Ming said quickly," Grandpa, your daughter is so beautiful! ""Old man: "Kill you son of a bitch, I'm her mother!" "

A white rabbit went to a bar and asked, "Uncle, do you have any carrots?" Uncle replied, "We didn't …" The next day, the little white rabbit came to the bar again and asked, "Uncle, do you have any carrots?" Uncle replied, "We didn't …" On the third day, the little white rabbit went to the bar and asked, "Uncle, do you have any carrots?" Uncle said impatiently, "Next time you ask this question, I'll put you on the wall!" " "The fourth day, the white rabbit came again and said," Uncle, are there any nails? "Uncle replied," We don't have ... ""Well, do you have carrots? "

6. At school, a classmate dropped his mobile phone in the toilet. What is the old toilet without partition? He wanted to take something out, so he went back and got a pair of chopsticks. He wanted to take something out and took a bowl by the way. Can you imagine the class teacher going to the toilet and seeing him squatting in front of the pit with a bowl in one hand and chopsticks in the other …

7. I was wandering alone in the street late at night, and a little girl selling flowers came up to me and said, "Big Brother, buy a bunch of flowers for my girlfriend." "I have no girlfriend."

Turning to go, I saw the little girl's confused eyes. I touched her head and said, "Well, I bought flowers, but no one sent them, so I'll give them to you, a lovely little sister."

The little girl looked at me in surprise and said, "Not for sale. I can't accept that you are so ugly. "

8. In primary school, my deskmate quarreled with me, and then I threw my pencil case into the toilet pit! This move directly made me cry! Later, he saw that I was so sad. When I was in physical education class, he secretly went to the toilet to fill my pencil box and put it back in my schoolbag! I will never forget the scene of opening my schoolbag after dinner at home. ...

Today, my wife and I watched TV together. This program is about how to make up my face ... the climax came ... she asked me what my face was like. I looked at her, thought about it, and said: duck-egg-shaped, looking at her happy appearance, I went on to say: it's just that others are vertical, and you are horizontal. ...

10. On Christmas Eve, many people received apples, but I received pears from my girlfriend. My heart is in tears, and it is my gentleness not to disturb. I drink alone. A few hours later, my girlfriend called and shouted, I have been waiting for you in my yard for a long time. Me: "What do you mean"? Girlfriend: Isn't there a poem like this, pear, grass in the yard, a hole in sleep? ...

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