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Jokes about the school of psychological counseling

One day, a group of psychological counselors were traveling, and suddenly they saw a long stretch of yellow sand ahead, and a group of hungry dogs galloping towards them. Among them, classic behavioral counselors, hypnotists, psychoanalysts, etc. each have their own tricks:

Classical behavioral therapist: "Grandma, bring me a bigger electric prod!" When the dogs heard this, Stopped in astonishment.

The hypnotherapist conducted hypnosis experiments on the dogs: "You are nervous, it doesn't matter, you look at my eyes, yes, just like this, imagine that there is a mole in my eyes. Yes, Just look at it carefully. Now you say: "Wang--Wang--". Pay attention to the feeling of your mouth. ——". The dogs were drowsy.

Systematic desensitization therapist: "Now think about the ten people you are most willing to eat, and rank them in order from most willing to least willing." . The dogs looked up at the sky and meditated.

Psychoanalyst: "Actually, you don't want to eat people, you just want to vent your Oedipal aggressive impulses. It's not us who are causing you castration anxiety, it's your dog father, and you show up to us." With negative transference, your defense mechanisms are acting out, transfer, and projection... In short, you had trauma in your childhood." . . When the dogs heard this, they burst into tears.

Client Center Therapist: "I feel the same way you do. In fact, I have dog nature just like you. I don't want to tell you what to do. I believe that people have the freedom to choose their own actions. Ah, that’s wrong, it’s a dog. Dogs have the ability to make their own personalities—dog personalities—become healthy. Believe me, that’s right.” (affectionate gaze, *love technique. ) The dogs howled

The family system therapist said to the dogs: "One or two of you have the desire to eat people. This is actually a problem with your family system. Boss dog, you What do you think of the second dog’s behavior at home? Third dog, what do you think of the relationship between the boss and the second dog?” Before he finished speaking, the dogs started barking and fighting. All covered with bruises.

Confucian and Taoist Balance Master: "Brothers, please think carefully. If you bite us to death, how will you distribute our meat?" The dogs were still panting, and the smoke started to rise again. All are dying. Confucian and Taoist Balance Master: "Now, imagine again, if you don't eat me, what will happen if you go to a place with beautiful mountains and clear waters with me?" All the therapists and dogs replied in unison: "You will open a flower river. Dog meat restaurant! Specializing in dog meat.” . . After saying this, dogs and rats ran around, and the yellow sand spread over the sky.

The psychological counselor said to the dog with infinite emotion: "We can't solve your problems, only you can solve your own problems. The role of the psychological counselor is actually to listen. People have one mouth and two mouths. Ears, so listening is more important than speaking."

The dogs were furious when they heard this, and said viciously to the psychological counselor: "Is it us who have the problem or you who came all the way here? Counseling is just to satisfy your desire to spy. What kind of psychological counselor is this? Come on, brothers, eat him..." The psychological counselor picked up the textbook and ran away. . While running, I shouted to the letter counselor teacher: "Teacher, help me, tell me quickly which chapter is transference and countertransference." . .

The dogs chased the psychological counselor all the way away.