Joke Collection Website - Joke collection - An article by Wang Zengqi
An article by Wang Zengqi
It seems to be about Southwest Associated University, it should be "Chicken Feather", but there doesn't seem to be a plot of sleeping with a flat head in it
Or "Running Alarm", but "Running Alarm" seems to be Prose
Chicken Feather
Southwestern United University has a literary wife.
She is not from the Southwest Associated University. She is not a member of the faculty, let alone a student. The name "Mr. Wen" is not on any of the rosters of Southwest Associated University. She only lives in the Southwest Associated University, and is an off-campus person who lives in the Associated University. However, she is indeed an integral part of the "Southwestern Associated University". She lives in the new campus of Southwest Associated University.
Southwest Associated University has many parts: the new campus, Kunzhong South Campus, Kunzhong North Campus, Kunhua Normal University, Engineering College... other parts are borrowed from the original buildings, and the new campus is newly built , and is also an important part of the United Nations General Assembly. The library, most classrooms, offices of various departments, boys' dormitories... are all in the new campus.
The new school building is located outside the west gate of Kunming. It was originally a wasteland. There are many graves and a few scattered families. There are many graves without owners. Some of the grave owners may have died, so it is not difficult to deal with it. There is a large grave head that still remains, surrounded by water, like a small island. At the turn of spring and summer, it is full of wild roses, with a fragrant fragrance. a scenery. The rest, all fell flat. The tombstones in front of the graves, some of which are quite tall, are placed on several ditches to form small bridges. The name of Xian Kao Xian's concubine was clearly visible on the monument, and Quan Yu was lying flat on his back. Every day, many famous teachers, scholars and students pass by it. As for the residents, the school paid some money to relocate them. Mrs. Wen is also a resident here. She won't move. No matter what, I won't move. She said she was used to living here. The authorities in the United Nations General Assembly are very humanitarian. If people don't want to move, they can't be forced to leave. But her two dilapidated thatched huts are really not what they should be if they poke around there all the time. Although the new school building is extremely simple, it was designed by a famous professor from the Department of Civil Engineering. The buildings are arranged in a dense and dense manner and the space is used very rationally. So what should we do? The person in charge discussed with Mrs. Wen and demolished her two thatched houses and built another one for her with better quality materials than her original one. She agreed and asked only that another chicken coop be built for her. That's easy to handle. Her hut had earthen walls and thatched roof, two windows (no sash, just a window opening with a few upright barked tree sticks) and a panel door. Close to the west wall, not far from Dormitory No. 25.
None of the students found it strange that such a family lived next to the dormitory. The students called her Mrs. Wen. She calls these students "sir." After a long time, you can also distinguish Mr. Zhang, Mr. Li, Mr. Jin, Mr. Zhu... However, after all these years of getting along, no one knows Mrs. Wen's life experience. They only know that she is a widow and has a daughter. People are very honest. Although he has no knowledge, he is clean and self-sufficient and does not take advantage of small things. She never reaches for something unless you give it to her. If a student loses toothpaste, soap, or small things, he will never suspect that she took them away. The student washed his shirt and hung it outside to dry. When the wind blew it away, she picked it up and handed it over when the student came back: "Mr. Jin, your clothes." Except when it rained, she stayed outside the house all day. Her door is also open. Everything she does is under the sun and can be seen by everyone.
She makes a living by washing clothes and unpacking quilts for students. Wash in a large basin every day. She tied two brown ropes between the two and a half large elm trees in front of her door and twisted them into twists. Laundry. Clamped between two ropes. The wind blew these clothes back and forth, making a rustling sound. On sunny days, I often see her sitting on the grass (the grass in Kunming is rich, velvety, neat and very clean) making bed, concentrating on each stitch. The clothes and quilts were washed and done. In order to avoid suspicion, she never sent them to the student dormitory. She just asked her daughter to shout through the window: "Mr. Zhang, come and get the clothes" - "Mr. Li, get the quilts." p>
Her daughter can now help. She can go to the well to fetch water, stand on tiptoes to dry clothes on the rope, smooth and fold the clothes on the bed.
Mrs. Wen raised about twenty chickens (perhaps she originally made a living by feeding chickens).
At that time, he had already learned bookkeeping, general accounting, cost accounting, bank accounting, statistics... These knowledge were enough to be a bank clerk. As for the history of economic thought, economic geography... these empty courses, he felt that they were of little use. As long as they could get some credits, he didn't have to study hard and could miss classes. He still attends classes at school in the morning and goes to work in the afternoon. Still burning the midnight oil at night, collecting scraps of paper and eating meat. Since becoming an accountant, he has developed two problems. First, I carry a black cloth parasol in and out every day, no matter winter or summer, every day. The second is to wear two shirts and two ties. After wearing the shirt and tie, add another shirt and tie. What is this for? If it is to show that he has more than one shirt and tie, others cannot see the shirt and tie inside. Besides, is this bulging bag comfortable? It's really puzzling. Therefore, the Chinese-majored night wanderer in the same room gave him a very long nickname: "The strange situation I have witnessed for twenty years."
Mr. Jin will graduate soon. Before graduation, he thought of doing two things. One is to join the Kuomintang, which has already been started; the other is to pursue a female classmate, which is difficult. He walked in and out of school, always like Mr. Ma Er when he visited the West Lake: he didn't look at women, and women didn't look at him.
Unexpectedly, by chance, Mr. Jin Changhuan would have a romantic affair. One day, he was carrying a parasol to go to work in Juxingcheng. Two female classmates were walking in front of him, and they were whispering to each other. One told the other: This man wears two shirts and two ties, and introduced him as having a very long nickname: "The strange situation I have witnessed for twenty years." The obedient one couldn't help but look back at Jin Changhuan, and said sweetly A smile. Jin Changhuan misunderstood: Who knew that a marriage would end up here. That night, he wrote a love letter to the female classmate. It began with: "Ms. ××'s fragrance, who inspired me..." Then he said many words of admiration, and finally put it bluntly: "It would be a great honor if I am favored by my wise eyes and agree to make a white-headed appointment. Enclosed is the letter. A gold ring is given as a gift, and I pray that it will be greatly appreciated." There is also a bracket added next to the word "gold ring", and the brackets indicate: "One qian weighs five." This love letter exhausted Mr. Jin so much that by the time he put on his pen and ate a piece of meat, Mrs. Wen's chicken was already making enough noise. This love letter was delivered in person.
This female classmate is very worthy of Jin Changhuan. She posted the letter on the bulletin board outside the principal's office, and nailed the gold ring to the dark green velvet cloth of the bulletin board with a pin. So Jin Changhuan suddenly became famous.
Jin Changhuan doesn’t care. In front of many people, he took off the letter and the ring and took them back.
You like to talk, so go ahead! If you love telling it as a joke, go ahead! What's wrong with Jin Changhuan? Jin Changhuan has already found a job in Chongqing and will leave the Southwest Associated University in two days to take office.
Mrs. Wen lost three chickens, a bamboo shoot chicken, a black hen, and a reed chicken. These three chickens were not lost at once, but one was lost every more than a week. I don’t know how it was lost. They are still there when the chickens are put out in the chicken coop in the morning, but less when they return to the chicken coop at night. Mrs. Wen looked everywhere but couldn't find it. She couldn't just sit at the door and scold like Mrs. Wang scolding chickens - she knew that such aggressive behavior was very inappropriate in a university. She just kept mumbling alone: ??"What about my chicken? What about my chicken?" …”
Mrs. Wen’s daughter is back. Sister-in-law Wen was shocked: her daughter was wearing a mourning hat. She knew something was wrong. Her son-in-law, returning from Chongqing, drove through Shibapan in Guizhou and overturned into a ravine. The son-in-law's colleague came with a letter. The mother and daughter couldn't care less about hugging each other and crying, and the daughter had to hitchhike to Shibapan to collect the body.
After her daughter left, Mrs. Wen was devastated and a little stupid. But she still had to live, she still had to live, she still had to eat, and she still had to let the chickens out and close the chicken coop every day. I still have to do laundry and make quilts. Many gentlemen have graduated and are leaving Kunming. They must be clean before leaving. Many of them come to Mrs. Wen to wash their clothes and unwrap their quilts.
Sister-in-law Wen often goes to the gentlemen’s dormitory these days. Some gentlemen are leaving.
The luggage has been packed, but there are still some shabby clothes that cannot be taken away, a fishnet-like sweater, a flattened washbasin, a few mismatched leather shoes - at least the soles with holes are still useful... …These gentlemen called Mrs. Wen over and let her choose. After selecting, Mrs. Wen will let her husband take a look, and then clean the square or concave-shaped units for them.
Because Mrs. Wen can still do things like wash clothes and pick out rags, she doesn’t feel too confused. But she has obviously lost weight.
Jin Changhuan left quietly. Mr. Zhu on the 25th asked Mrs. Wen to come and see if this "strange situation" had left something worth picking up.
Nothing. Mr. King took away every thread of cloth. His concave kingdom was empty except for a cauldron borrowed from Mrs. Wen. Mrs. Wen got nothing, but she still cleaned up for Mr. Jin. She swept her broom under the bed and screamed: there were three piles of chicken feathers under the bed, one pile the color of bamboo shoots, one pile black, and one pile of reed feathers!
Mrs. Wen took out three piles of chicken feathers, sat down on the ground, and burst into tears. "Oh my God, this is my chicken! I am a chicken with bamboo shoots and shell! My chicken is a black hen, and my chicken is a reed chicken!..."
"How many years did my widow lose her job?" Ten years, why are you trying to steal my cock?..." "I've been through wind and rain, how miserable and difficult my life is, why are you trying to steal my cock!... ..."
"Your husband wants to do big things and make a lot of money, why are you trying to steal my son-in-law? ..."
"My son-in-law died here. The eighteen dishes in Guizhou haven't even collected the corpses yet, why are you trying to steal my chicken?..."
She cried very sadly and grieved.
She seemed to be crying out all the injustice, misfortune, loneliness and lack of confession she had suffered in her life.
This Jin Changhuan is really wicked. He stole Aunt Wen’s chicken and borrowed Aunt Wen’s cauldron to stew it. As for how he stole the chicken, how he slaughtered it, and how he removed the chicken feathers, no one can imagine.
The forest is so big that there are all kinds of birds.
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