A joke that makes people laugh to death, not asking for more, but refining.

While the teacher was giving a lecture, the students chattered away below.

The teacher slapped the blackboard eraser angrily, and the classroom was suddenly silent.

The teacher said: "In the past, the county magistrate judged the case in this way, and the class was silent."

Suddenly, a student shouted, "Wrong!"

Mom is like a princess.

My mother is combing her hair in the morning. After watching for a while, the daughter came over and said, "Mom, I think you look like a princess."

Mother was very happy and said, "What kind of princess do I look like? Is it snow white, mermaid princess or flower fairy princess? "

Daughter: "You are like an iron fan princess."

It's better for classmates.

In the morning, I found that the rhinestones on a shoe were obviously less, so I asked my family, "Where are the rhinestones on my shoes?"

My five-year-old son replied, "I picked it up and sent it to the lesbian school in our class."

The recruits practiced skydiving.

The recruits are ready to parachute. The instructor opened the hatch and finally told him, "Be sure to count to 10 before opening the parachute."

Everyone strictly followed orders and fell to the ground one by one.

Suddenly a soldier exclaimed, "The one in front must fall to death!" "

The instructor said angrily, "What's the matter?"

"He has a bad stutter."

Which word is white?

In the year of graduation, go out to play. Before arriving at the destination, please ask local students to help book a hotel.

When we arrived, we called him and asked him which hotel he was. He said, "Baixia Hotel."

We asked again, "Which one is white?"

He said: "It is red, orange, yellow, green, blue and purple white."

This egg is really inedible.

Go to the canteen to queue up for breakfast. The buddy in front bought a tea egg, which may have been boiled for too long and broken. That buddy asked for another one.

Uncle in the canteen was unhappy and said impatiently that he had nothing to eat. When the buddy refused, the two of them made a scene.

Later, the buddy said beautifully: "This is really inedible. Do you believe it? "

Uncle picked up the egg and ate it, which proved no problem.

The buddy said, "Now you have to change it for me!" " "

The shopkeeper ran away.

There is a small shop downstairs in my house. The tweeter broadcasts every day: "the boss has run away, the boss has run away, and the boss has no intention to operate." Clear the field. "

It lasted for a month and was changed to: "The boss's wife came back, the boss came back, and the boss celebrated, with a big discount."

The following month: "The proprietress ran away again, and the proprietress ran away again ..."

Picked up 200 yuan.

The husband was very unhappy when he came home, and the wife asked with concern, "Did something go wrong?"

Husband: "I found 200 yuan money on the bus today."

Wife: "That should be happy!" "

Husband: "The other guy saw it and asked me to share it with him."

Wife: "Then don't you still have 100 yuan?"

Husband: "I found out before I went home that the 200 yuan was actually lost by myself."

It's really frustrating.

I went fishing for QQ drift bottle today.

I caught one and collapsed at first sight:

"Another bottle!"

Happy birthday to you.

One day, I took my little nephew to the temple to worship God.

I am burning incense and his father is lighting candles.

When the nephew saw the candle, he immediately sang to the idol: "Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! "

One day, the little animals were chatting:

The pig said: My mother calls me a pig, which is nice.

Tutu said: My mother calls me Tutu, which is also nice.

The dog said: I, my mother barks, call me, I, my little, my little, my dog, ok, ok (the dog has a serious stutter)

The kitten said, My mother called me a kitten, which sounds nice to me, huh? Chicken, what does your mother call you?

The chicken said: you talk first, and my father told me to go home for dinner.

I don't know if this is funny to you, but I think it is. But I really don't know the jokes that kill me.