Family relationship: What should parents do when the young couple get divorced?

At the beginning of marriage, newlyweds will have a clear view of each other's advantages and disadvantages. Because of this, it is necessary for couples to accept each other's shortcomings and look at each other's bright spots. This is called "marriage running-in".

But in reality, many couples don't get along well in marriage, they will quarrel with each other and even start to divorce. At this point, what should parents do as elders? There are three suggestions.

1, parents of both sides intervened in time to calm the young couple down temporarily. Only when both sides are emotionally stable can they be persuaded;

Parents of both sides should show the dignity of their elders and find out the reasons for the divorce of the young couple. Ask the reasons for divorce, parents must be both hard and soft;

3. Facing the root of marital conflict, parents need to deal with it in a targeted way. Parents should not be partial to their children, but should mediate neutrally.

Next, I will elaborate on the specific details of these three suggestions and give solutions. I believe you will get what you deserve.

Parents of both sides intervened in time to calm the young couple down temporarily. When a person is emotional, good advice from outsiders doesn't play much role, because he lacks self-control ability at this time.

Just like a divorced couple, when they quarrel and get angry, they can no longer listen to the preaching of outsiders, let alone expect the two sides to sit down and talk it over.

Divorce is different from the conflict between young couples. The former is the cumulative outbreak of the latter. The young couple can't solve the problem by themselves. At this time, it is necessary for both parents to intervene in mediation in time, so that the young couple can calm down first and then find ways to solve the problem.

There are two ways to ease the excitement of the young couple, as follows:

1, environmental transfer. The young couple lived under the same roof, when the contradiction between them intensified to? Divorce? Their family environment has become clear between right and wrong.

When there is unhappiness in each other's hearts, both sides will think of all kinds of disputes at home before. The dispute at this time is only a repeat of the scene, and the emotions are not only difficult to calm down, but will become more intense.

Why not have one at this time? Thirty-six measures is the best policy? Parents need to take their children home for a period of time to calm their emotions in a once warm environment; Or parents pull one out, take a walk outside, quickly leave the situation that makes him angry, and take a walk together. I believe he will gradually calm down.

2. Emotional counseling. Emotional counseling is a kind of emotional guidance based on cognitive psychology theory, which is more professional than "environmental transfer". Generally speaking, professional marriage (psychological) mediators regulate and guide the self-cognition of both parties through verbal communication.

If conditions permit, parents can ask professionals to intervene in mediation to ease the emotions of both parties. In addition, parents can also communicate according to their children's characteristics, or use practical actions (such as a good table of food) to make him feel concerned, so as to calm him down.

In short, parents try to keep young couples emotionally stable. Before that, parents should not ask the specific reasons for divorce. Generally speaking, when the young couple's mood fluctuates greatly, the reasons given are often subjective and it is difficult to find the core problem.

Parents of both sides should show the dignity of their elders and find out the reasons for the young couple's divorce. When the young couple calm down, parents need to show the dignity of their elders and explore the core of the problem by combining hard and soft methods. At the same time, it is also necessary to distinguish whether the attitude of the young couple is firm.

There are three steps to find out the core problem, as follows:

1, understand the past contradictions from the side. Parents can learn about the situation through other people's mouths or ask their children's friends. If children don't want to talk to their parents, they usually talk to their friends. In addition, parents can also judge the cause of things according to their own observations, at least with a clear head.

2. Ask each other why. Parents should not discuss this issue in front of the young couple, which will easily lead to quarrels. Parents need to ask one party separately and then ask the other party, which is not only to take care of each other's emotions, but also a kind of respect. Imagine that in front of everyone, some of your own problems are hard to admit.

Both sides sit down and state the facts. After parents finish the above two points, they need to ask both sides to sit down and talk together. This step requires parents to take the lead. Speak your opinion first, and then ask your child's opinions and thoughts. When the child speaks again, parents need to compare what they have learned before and determine the core of the problem.

Parents must safeguard the dignity of their elders when exploring the reasons. When it is tough, it is tough, and when it is soft, it is soft. The timing of application lies in the attitude of children. If you have a good attitude, you should naturally say it. If the attitude is not correct, you can only be tough.

In short, to solve the problem, we need to find the core of the problem and solve it on this basis.

Faced with the root causes of marital conflict, parents need to deal with the root causes of marital conflict, especially when couples divorce. In view of the contradictions that often appear in marriage at present, this paper lists them in detail so that parents can find corresponding solutions.

Marriage conflict has the following three sources:

1, emotional crisis. The contradiction between husband and wife is caused by factors such as great personality differences, poor understanding of marriage, and insufficient emotional cultivation of husband and wife. One of the most representative is misunderstanding? Marriage and love are the same? I can't stand that my partner can't treat her like before in marriage. This sense of gap will lead to the emotional crisis of newlyweds.

Suggestion: Parents need to share their marriage feelings with the young couple by telling their marriage history.

Let them understand the essence of marriage: marriage and family are inseparable, and marriage without family or family without marriage is incomplete; What marriage needs is that husband and wife accept each other's advantages and disadvantages, support each other in the future, and face difficulties together in order to get a happy marriage.

2. Contradictions in life. In marriage, differences in living habits, eating habits and personal hobbies will lead to contradictions between young couples. If the two sides have different diets, and the husband doesn't like spicy food, but the wife likes it very much, there will be obvious dietary differences. In love, we may give in to each other. But in marriage, such accommodation cannot be maintained, because it is a lifetime thing.

Suggestion: Parents should clearly define the benefits of divorce when facing the life contradictions of the young couple, so that the young couple feel that it is unnecessary to divorce for these trivial things. If you can't convince them well at this time, you need to seek more dignified elders at home to preach to your children in time; Or seek community personnel and professional marriage mediators to intervene in mediation.

3. Negative reasons. The negative reasons are mainly external and internal. External factors include the third party's interference in marriage and external interest disputes; Internal causes include domestic violence, cold domestic violence and bad habits.

Suggestion: Parents must be neutral in the face of "negative reasons", look at the problem rationally and never protect their children. The best way to deal with this situation is to let them handle it themselves. If they can't handle it, parents will step in and resolutely safeguard the rights and interests of the "weak".

In short, parents need to deal with different marital problems reasonably. Marriage is a child's own business, and parents just have to do their best!

If you are poor, you will inherit the wind. Working hard for your children is not only to grow up, but also to correct the deviation in life. Parents who are elders help their children when they have problems in their marriage? Warning? Yes, after that, children need to work hard to manage their married life.