Is the child spoiled? Check out these 5 signs. It’s important to set rules before the age of 6

I went to the supermarket two days ago and saw a 15-6-year-old naughty child rolling on the ground crying and making a fuss, while the child's mother stood aside helplessly.

It turned out that the child wanted to play with the coin-operated gashapon machine at the entrance of the supermarket, and the child’s mother had already put five coins in for him.

However, because the gashapon that comes out is not to the child’s liking, the child has to continue playing. The child's mother told him many times that it was time to leave, but the child just refused to agree.

Looking at the child’s mother who was standing aside and still unable to calm down, I said to my husband: “This is another spoiled child.”

My husband laughed at me and said, "Does it look like I have seen what I used to be like?"

Yes, when my son was born, I seemed to feel that a piece of flesh had fallen from my body, and I thought that I must protect this piece of flesh.

So I am obedient to my son, and I will find a way to satisfy him if he has any requirements. Even if he is a little unreasonable sometimes, I think the child is still young and will be sensible in the future.

Until one time, when my son was more than three years old, I took him out to have dinner with his classmates. There was a dish that my son liked to eat very much. He said to me: "Mom, bring that dish to me." ".

I told him gently at that time that everyone likes to eat this dish and you can’t enjoy it alone.

As a result, my son burst into tears and couldn't be coaxed. In the end, there was nothing we could do, so my classmate ordered another plate for my son alone.

That time, I suddenly realized that I could no longer be so unprincipled and unruly. I always thought that my children were still young and I would understand when they were older.

In fact, children are very smart. They know that their parents have no bottom line, so they dare to continue to be wild and willful.

As time went by, he became more and more outrageous, and was eventually spoiled by his parents.

Many parents will say, how do we know that our children are spoiled? Although my children sometimes have bad tempers, they are quite well-behaved most of the time.

When your child shows the following signs, parents can actually pay attention. Maybe your child is spoiled, and quickly find a way to reverse it.

01

Selfish, unwilling to interact with others, and unwilling to share with others.

A mother consulted me two days ago and said that her daughter was criticized many times by the teacher in kindergarten.

The reason is very simple. After being assigned a toy, if other children want to play with it, they will definitely not agree.

Sometimes, in addition to the toys in his own hand, he would also snatch toys from other children's hands, and would cry if he didn't give them to them.

The teacher had no choice but to chat with the mother several times, hoping that the mother could educate her children at home and know how to share with other children.

This is a typical situation where a child is too selfish. The mother said that in fact, the situation of her own children at home is similar.

Sometimes when I go to the community garden to play, other children want to ride my child’s bicycle. The child absolutely disagrees and no matter what I say, it will not work.

Such children already know very well that they only consider themselves in everything and do not know how to share with others.

This mother said that no wonder her daughter always said that no children wanted to play with her.

02

He has a bad temper and likes to lose his temper with others.

Cheng Cheng is four years old. He is white and fat. When he first went to kindergarten, his teachers liked him very much.

Later, during a kindergarten game, a child accidentally stepped on his shoe, which made Cheng Cheng unhappy.

Although the child said sorry, he still ran over and pushed the child who stepped on his shoes to the ground.

Cheng Cheng’s mother felt so embarrassed when she received the call from her teacher.

Because Cheng Cheng has a bad temper at home.

If he is unhappy at all, he will lose his temper, yell, and sometimes even throw toys.

Although I told Cheng Cheng a lot of truth, it seemed to have no effect. Cheng Cheng was not only angry with her and the child's father, but also with outsiders.

This kind of "self-centered" thinking of children is too expanded, and they have become accustomed to using their own ideas as the standard for many things.

03

I am unwilling to do what I can do, and I never care about family affairs.

A former colleague told something about her son. She said that if she didn't empty the trash can in her son's room, even if it was full, his son would not take the initiative to empty it.

Of course she said it in a joking way. Although it seemed very relaxed, in fact it also revealed a little helplessness.

Because his son is already in sixth grade, a child who is taller than her and doesn’t even know how to empty the trash can in his room.

It feels very sad when I think about it. Many times, our parents hope that their children can just study hard and do everything for them.

Never ask children to do things that they can do well. They feel that they are supporting their children's learning, but in fact they are harming them.

Letting children completely separate themselves from a group, develops the idea of ????ignoring everything, and becomes irresponsible.

04

Not polite or respectful to parents and elders.

We had local news here before: the eight-year-old girl Yingying did not agree to buy snacks for her child outside the school gate because her grandma picked her up on her way home from school.

The little girl beat and scolded her grandma all the way home. When I saw the news, I didn’t know what to say.

Many children now have no awe and respect for their parents and elders because they are favored at home.

It is normal to point fingers at them and yell at them. After all, it is what the family is used to.

When I was young, I thought this was a sign that the child was ignorant and not smart. But when he grew up, it really made his parents and elders suffer.

05

Always negotiate terms in advance.

We often see such scenes, and you must be familiar with them.

The mother said: "Baby, hurry up and do your homework. It has been a long time."

The child said: "After you finish your homework, let me watch TV."

The mother said: "Baby, eat more vegetables, you will grow taller and it will be good for your health."

Child: "I eat vegetables, then you will buy me milk tea later."

This kind of dialogue is common in many families. Children do not first want to do anything their parents ask them to do.

Instead, they negotiate conditions with their parents, hoping to get a commitment from their parents to satisfy their wishes.

At this time, parents are trapped in this ""equivalent exchange"" worry. Should they agree or reject?

This has become a headache for many parents. At this time, your The child has actually been spoiled by you.

On the road to educating children, it is indeed difficult to grasp the role of parents. They are all "crossing the river by feeling the stones" and groping forward slowly.

Therefore, when children show these symptoms, parents should be wary of whether the love we give to our children is too tolerant, to the point where the child is too tolerant and even overrides family order and principles, politeness and moral norms. .

So stop here and reconsider the way you interact with your children. The most important thing is to have principles and bottom lines. Only in this way can you drag your children out of their arrogance.