Full text of fallen flowers

Ten years later, I was standing in the crowd in a different place.

Towards a bunch of flickering light, driving the footsteps.

There are already many people sitting on the street floor by the roadside. They sat in rows of plastic sheets by the roadside, drinking drinks and watching fireworks. The strip distribution continues. And I want to be close to the launch site after all. Speed up with your bag on your back and trot in a slightly empty place.

Octopus balls, fried noodles and shaved ice. Boys and girls in bathrobes lined up in front of the booth.

There is rubbish on the ground, too. It's not that it's completely spotless

The police to maintain order have increased at every intersection. Holding a luminous baton in his hand.

A lively night.

Just excitement and joy, there is no necessary causal connection.

{Six-degree separation}

An American psychologist put forward the theory that under optimized conditions, you can meet anyone you want through only six people. In a more popular way, if you want to contact Bill Gates, you only need six people to list the relationship that "the uncle of the son-in-law of the neighbor's boss's aunt is a colleague of Mr. Gates".

This is the loveliest, most romantic and most useful theory I have ever heard.

And I used to know everyone in the world. The earth is like a watermelon cut into six pieces, which speaks for interpersonal relationships with sweet juice.

The name is six degrees of separation.

{There is always the second thing}

So, the friend of my friend's friend is you.

Near the school, you don't even have to bother six people.

However, a few months later, this relationship has undergone subtle and critical changes.

It became—

My friend's boyfriend is you.

This happens all the time.

{Difference}

It's shy to hide the book in the lower part of your face.

The purpose of blocking the book in the upper part of the face and covering it is-

Try to do

Maybe we'll know when we do it.

{scorching}

A beam of light that rises in the air every few seconds. It's not much different from what I saw before. Patterns, flowers, smiling faces or hearts.

Most of them are spherical. The difference is only in color.

Some are eye-catching at the end, leaving countless golden flames in the sky.

Hot air collects on the surface. A beautiful and tragic summer is like the end.

{veto}

I think I had a fight with boys in junior high school. Drink a little vinegar. Get angry or get a birthday present.

There are also very popular characters in the class, who are handsome or exquisite. He is thirteen, fourteen and fifteen.

So it is still outside the boundaries. At that time, sweetness or sourness, jealousy or anxiety were all labeled as negative, and they were all regarded as interesting things when they were children. Mention them in a joke tone, and they will not keep their mouths shut and avoid them silently. Even if they meet again at the class reunion a few years later, they can clap their shoulders and say "that year" with a smile.

Will do this, because later appeared silence and silent avoidance.

From 16, 17, 18, until today.

Let's go to the movies.

Let's go shopping together.

Let's go together. Give me a minute. I'll be right there.

{Pause}

After walking for about twenty minutes, the fireworks in front of me became clearer and grander. I need to lift my face more and more.

Excited, his hands clenched into fists.

The river bank of a long park. Looking discontentedly at the steps and grass slopes of the crowd.

I couldn't walk a few meters further, and a huge fire rose in front of my eyes. I am like a hole in the galaxy, where the next planet will be born. There is life and rivers.

{market segment 1}

Actually, we have known each other before.

A strange and indescribable day.

How to get familiar with it? I don't remember this key link, or I deliberately played it down. In short, it should still be through friends of friends, friends of friends and similar relationships. A bunch of people have met several times, so they can call each other names after meeting alone. Many years ago in the summer, I followed you out of the convenience store, and you were holding a plastic bag in your right hand near me. There are coke, ice cream, potato chips and melon seeds in it. We go out to buy things from small parties.

On the way-maybe longer-I grabbed the mouth of the plastic bag in your hand. It's the part you hold, and the place under the weight, which is pulled out between the two. I grabbed it gently with my fingers.

Later, you noticed that after changing the direction of the bag, you held my left hand with the free right hand.

The first time.

There is no reason not to remember.

I'm sorry I described it as a love story.

Sometimes I buy two breakfasts in the restaurant.

Two of the four times, I can send you one of them.

The remaining two times, once left intact in the desk at noon, until it was sour. Waste love and punish yourself for buying only the cheapest food for lunch.

Then the phone. Call once or twice a week, ranging from ten minutes to two hours.

After two hours on the phone, my ears will swell up, as if they were wet, affecting the whole half of my face.

Discuss homework. Discuss the teacher. Discuss a friend whom * * * knows.

Mention your ex-girlfriend or current girlfriend. Just a quick mention. The word "oh" ends.

So this is still not the bridge in the love story.

{There is always the third thing}

In a silent way, to tolerate the crazy growth of a seed. I made all kinds of wishes in my heart. Extreme, selfish, helpless and discouraged. If its roots violently tear the surface of the heart, it may be acceptable instead.

When facing it, you can only say "What were you doing yesterday" in a steady tone.

Another tone is, I imagine what he was doing yesterday.

Two very different things.

{Winter}

Ten-school entrance examination, ranking, parent-teacher conference.

Logarithmic function. Opium War. The right to vote and stand for election. Gravity does work.

In the evening, the sky was dark, incandescent lamps were lit in the classroom, the review class was in a tight rhythm, and there was only a rustling sound in my ear. It is often described as spring eating away, and it is a vibrant and enterprising picture. But doesn't anyone think that it's actually an uncomfortable close-up that a silkworm devours leaves?

Maybe it was just me.

I'm the only one who can't adapt.

Show your face from the book and lean against the window. The leaves planted in the playground opposite changed color, and the top of the leaves fell in the heavy dusk.

When is the end of the world?

-I really want to hold your hand.

-I really want to touch your face.

I'd like to brush my forehead and hair tips. Your back.

We'll go with you.

Standing by your side before the end.

{On the tram}

Start by saying "Why are you so late" and "Oh, yes", and then take the same tram several times.

You stand, I sit.

Or we can sit together and stand together.

The latter two situations are better. I always try to avoid the former, and I insist on ignoring it when there are vacancies, but it is not out of my noble moral heart to give up my seat to others.

Because after sitting down, you need to raise your face and speak, and you need to raise your voice a little.

"Your math teacher …", "By the way, yesterday's school meeting …", and so on.

And they should be completely unnecessary to raise their faces and raise their voices.

The casual topic found after searching the stomach became very deliberate.

So there is no more noise.

After the height difference changed, the two were silent.

{Supplementary}

Despite the above description, in fact, compared with several times I have met, what I have not met must be hundreds of times more than it.

Standing at the beginning of the crowd, being pushed into the car door, grabbing seats, sweating like a pig.

When we didn't meet.

{streamer}

Go to the bank that can't walk. Stand next to the yellow line in the circle with others and look up at the fireworks.

It is said that this is a quiet area that is rarely lively on weekdays, but today it has gathered nearly one million people. It seems that regardless of age and sex, everyone has a hobby for it. Not afraid to walk long distances.

The sky came back with a continuous streamer.

Red, orange and yellow.

Blue, green and purple.

Gold is the tail, tied behind the fish, and then jumped into the darkness.

Why, a person standing in a colorful crowd, the shape is out of place, even a little embarrassed?

Listen to their sighs in another language.

Why am I here?

{About, A}

When the class is going to have a get-together, my friends and I are assigned to the supermarket to buy necessary things. I took the opportunity to ask for half a day off. After returning to the dormitory from the supermarket, the two had a drink and sat by the window to blow. Mushrooms, beef and seafood always feel that others' food is more delicious than their own.

I don't know where to start. Then my friend asked me, "What happened to you and him?"

After the lights are turned off in the dormitory at night, some girls will secretly make phone calls in the bathroom in the dark. Although the door was ajar, I could still hear a sentence or two.

Sweet words, silly sweet words, of course.

Sometimes I hear a CD turned over and poke my head out of the quilt to get some air, only to find that the phone in the bathroom is still on.

"You hang up first-I'll wait for you to hang up-"is always the most common sentence.

That morning, you wore a dark blue Nike sweater and a yellow hook.

The morning before that day, you were wearing a red Nike pullover with a red hook under your back and head and neck.

The morning before that day was Monday, so you often wear school uniforms.

The day before. ......

The friend finally said, "Don't cry."

{Commitment}

Don't cry.

{stunt}

In the crowd, you can find each other at a glance Such stunts are nothing to me.

So what I really think should be called stunts is always met in the crowd.

And this is too difficult.

After the event, it was reported that * * * attracted1400,000 people to watch the fireworks show in Edogawa.

It's too difficult. It's too difficult.

{Mountain}

Before the summer vacation is about to begin, the school has prepared activities that every student must choose, whether it's going to the distant Laoshan for a week or going to a suburban camp for training.

After listening to this, I made a little detour to find out your intention. So I chose the former on the form sent by the teacher, ticked it and submitted it. A few days later, I stood in line in front of the dormitory early in the morning, several rows apart, trying to find your shadow. Sleepy-eyed, without results, I was caught on the bus and had to travel for dozens of hours. Put the seat completely flat and plug in the same pair of headphones with the girl next to you to listen to music. Halfway through, the curtains were quietly lifted and street lamps flew over the window. The mountain road is endless.

At that time, I thought that the key images in my mind were the night road illuminated by stars, the warm wind that attacked the forest, and the stream that overflowed my ankles. Their unified characteristics are beauty and romance.

After a day and a night, the team arrived in the mountains. Arrange accommodation, introduce to fellow villagers, arrange to visit local schools, and watch local children put two cooked potatoes in enamel cups for lunch. Accommodation is made of tables, and older children sleep with children. This discovery shocked me, so I gradually realized that you didn't appear until the evening. You didn't come.

It is natural to think about it later. A friend said, "Mountain area? Why go there? " Parents object to "no matter how hard it is, it may be dangerous" or change their minds and say "Oh, it's good to go camping"-there are always various natural reasons that keep you from coming.

At night, I hold hands with the girl who lives in the same room to go to the bathroom.

A toilet built of wood behind the house. That's the owner's own toilet, which is much better than the public toilet at the entrance of the village-the sight of maggots makes us almost dumbfounded from the city.

But after 8 o'clock in the evening, there is almost no light source, and it is surrounded by dark night mountains. The strong wind shook the tree. I feel my whole stomach contract with fear. The two men finally ran away like a 50-meter sports test, and they didn't even have time to tie the belt on their pants.

I helped pick corn in the field and the tip of my nose began to fall off. Wash the clothes and take them to the river. Soap bubbles were washed away in the water.

When visiting local poor households, the girls cried and paid for themselves.

I ate potatoes and garlic seedlings for a week.

Ten days later, I went back to school and met in the restaurant.

You knock casually on the edge of the bowl with chopsticks, and then squint at today's menu written on the blackboard. When you see me, nod your head and cross over.

Maybe you didn't see me, just nodded unconsciously, and then crossed.

It makes no difference.

{an animation}

At that time, I skipped class and went home once. I stayed up all night watching cartoons and eating by myself. As expected, instant noodles can only be considered qualified and delicious if they are cooked. I'm used to beating another egg, thinking it's a supplement.

Well, it's a little beside the point.

I sat on the floor, carrying the steaming noodles I cooked. On TV, the protagonist and opponent of justice are about to go to war. When the seemingly handsome opponent changes into a fierce face, the animation lets people know his past in a retrospective way-a man who almost died in a terrible killing when he was a child and began to resist in order to survive, which is exactly what the tradition says: "Fate has changed since then."

On the screen, he asked angrily and painfully:

"Why, weren't you there?"

"Why, you didn't come to save me?"

"Since you have been talking about justice and kindness, why didn't you come at that time?"

"Why, you didn't come at that time?"

The first feeling at that time was very strange. As weird as the protagonist. "What?" "How can he know the protagonist?" "He has no idea." "What do you want to attack unilaterally there?"

be

How would he know? I don't even know.

What are you attacking in wishful thinking there?

I lost something.

Sad about what.

What are you angry about?

With what?

{forgotten, valued}

I want to say that going to see fireworks alone will not be a happy experience from any angle.

There are many people. The fireworks are spectacular. The atmosphere is very warm.

The train is crowded. The weather is very hot. The plain bathrobe for boys is very nice. So do girls.

That's right.

There are many people. All the way from the station to the park was crowded with people. The roof platform has been filled. When I finally returned, it took me nearly an hour and a half to get off the subway platform.

Fireworks are very, very, very warm. At the edge of the crowded park grass embankment, the police who maintain order constantly remind "pay attention to safety", "please go up and down the No.8 step" and "be careful to slip". What overwhelms them from time to time is the exclamation and applause from the crowd, and so on. At that time, the night was already filled with fireworks and bright as another universe. Such a scene must have been fresh in my memory in the past ten or twenty years.

Firelight or something else, everything around you melts into orange-red, like water at a certain temperature, which makes your face slightly hot. When we left along the road, five or six young children gathered on the balcony of a side room and shouted to the crowd in unison, "Come back next year-please come back next year-"

Trembling, trembling current.

{actually}

Finally-I judged it as "the last"-we became classmates after the placement of arts and sciences.

As long as you turn your eyes, you can see the back. You are the sports committee member in your class. As soon as the bell rang, he disappeared with some friends.

It was still a strange meeting, but we never spoke by phone again. There is a thread torn for some unknown reason, revealing a gap, mixed in weeds, like a branch that will not bloom.

"Finally"-I said "finally"-one night when I was a student on duty, I dragged myself to your desk and found a piece of paper on the ground. I picked it up and unfolded it.

It's someone else's handwriting, which should be understood as one of your friends. He wrote a note and asked, "Does she like you?"

{XXX}

I stood there and looked at my name on the note.

Only this sentence, the opposite did not write down the answer to this. Maybe the class is over and there is no time to continue. Maybe it's something else. But this is the end.

Not ellipsis, exclamation point, question mark. Period, end.

{End}

The fireworks show ended at 8: 45 sharp.

People gathered around the park are expecting what kind of ending this will be.

After six rounds of large-scale round fireworks were fired in succession, they were shocked by its momentum, and the applause and shouts became one.

I thought it was over.

Standing at the top of the ramp, it seems that someone is ready to pack up and leave.

But after ten seconds of silence, dozens of golden fireworks rose from left to right on the horizon, like a waterfall upstream.

Besides breathing, the eyes have lost their function.

{End it}

The opposite of happiness is not pain. What is the antonym of happiness?

I drove to watch the fireworks.

Crowded. The high temperature in hot summer.

Rob, remember to follow the fire.

Yes, there will always be one or two times, because after running for a day, my forehead and nose are shiny, my hair is messy, my shoulders carrying my bag are completely collapsed, and my underwear shoulder straps that I don't care about are exposed outside my cuffs. Standing in a strange crowd. They speak another language, wear clothes that they only saw on TV before, and come from nearby homes to be with friends and lovers.

The surrounding atmosphere is extremely huge and beautiful. Extremely huge and beautiful.

So, in this case, I found that my heart swelled instantly, and the invisible boundary swallowed up the whole universe instantly. The loneliness in my heart is clearer than ever, just like the huge twisted wings in the night sky. Although at the same time, I was entrusted by it, but every cell in my body was submerged in the boiling sound, as small as floating dust.

Destroyed with the pain of the past.

Although they are reborn in another space.

The opposite of happiness is not pain. So happiness and pain can coexist at the same time.

{Please finish}

With a breath, with a back-to-back posture, in all things that involve you.

On the last night of self-study, our class served as invigilator, and many people were transferred to other classes to maintain discipline. I am in the third grade. You are a senior one.

The teaching buildings of grade three and grade one are parallel, separated by more than ten meters.

So I walked out of the classroom halfway, climbed from the second floor to the third floor of my house, and stood in the corridor at night looking at the opposite side.

Look at the classroom of senior one, and you sitting in front of the podium.

I've been standing there watching you.

Pray for the eyes to lose their function.

{true}

Nearly ten years have passed, and news of getting married and having children has been coming from former classmates and friends. My closest childhood partner also became a mother and lived happily in a foreign country. Although I haven't been able to connect reality with the past for a long time, we still squatted in a small bookstore that rented comics and drank cold drinks. One cut the boy's short hair and the other combed two ladies' hairstyles-obviously, obviously this is more real.

When I was studying, the brand was too deep for a long time, and I became an empty shell that was difficult to grow old independently. And on the flying shell road, stubbornly cultivated his own night.

As long as it's night. In the dream, there are junior high school buildings, swimming pools, a road without trees, test papers and tunnels.

Only the tunnel is illusory.

Where do you want to sneak away?

Stepping on the wet and soft ground is not scary, but more like a cold cake. I didn't return to the classroom until the scene changed. The teacher seems to have been writing with chalk, and the classroom is still relaxed and quiet. I looked down and saw a pair of feet sticking out from the back row, with the edges of shoes leaning slightly against my chair and stool.

Even though time passes slowly, I have long been used to it, but as a young man, you frequently appear in any dream.

Completely unaffected by light.

It's been going on, going on, going on for years.

{Real dream}

In a recent dream, we met again at school. Such teaching buildings, trees and roads. Almost completely in line with reality. I can't help admiring my memory when I wake up.

I met you.

After nearly ten years, I spoke again. During the conversation, I asked, "Can you tell me your mobile phone number?" .

You said, "Oh, great".

Then in the dream, you quoted a series of numbers, starting from 138 and ending at 774.

Yes, I remember it very clearly.

So I have a strong consciousness in my dream. I am determined to force myself to wake up, and then find a piece of paper and a note to record this number.

I really did it.

I couldn't open my eyes, but I touched a blank piece of paper on the table next to me. I can't find my pen at the moment. I was so anxious that I finally touched it on the refrigerator. I wrote down the number completely and went back to sleep with peace of mind.

Although I woke up the next day and found it was empty.

But it's not a nightmare.

At the end of the dream, I heard you ask, "Do you still like me?"

{Real countless dreams}

To tell the truth, not everything that happened in the dream is true.

But I actually dream those dreams day after day.

In these countless dreams, a person appears day after day.

See his skirt from his eyes.

Look back at your eyes from the corner.

Once again, I saw the skirt from your eyes.

Back to the eyes.

This action is-

The line of sight fluctuates with the fireworks.

Do it again, follow with your face up, and then fall down.

This action is-

I nodded.

{Close your eyes}

The night sky after fireworks.

Melted the soft smell of smoke.

I saw myself in those days, a small head that was hard to find in the crowd, and brown and black fireworks were set off in the white sky.

so

Cry if you want.

Once a day. ...