Joke set TXT

1. Bajie, don't think you are a night pig standing under a street lamp. Every time I miss a girl, I put a brick on the mountain, so the world has the Great Wall. When the college entrance examination results came out, the teacher breathed a sigh of relief and said to me: In fact, it is a kind of happiness for you and the university. Please don't ask him to use his brain-his left brain is full of water and his right brain is full of flour, so he just moves easily and everything is paste. 5. I will help you solve the problem that Confucius can't solve. 6. There are no windtight walls and no hanging beams. 7. When you stumble and become a cripple, you turn around and flash your waist. 8. I don't like to tidy my room. They all call me a messy room hero. 9. You once told me that you would love me forever. I understand love, but what is it forever? 10, I planted a bunch of girlfriends in spring, and now it's autumn. Oh, no harvest. It rains in every city, just like I miss you everywhere. Missing is a kind of fruit, sweet and sour, full of memories of the night, I miss you indefinitely. I can't believe it. Call again and say: the subscriber you dialed has been sent to the slaughterhouse. Please share it later! Are you okay? ! 13, days without you/melancholy/days without you/upset/life without you/it's really hard/when can I really have you/my dearest. . . . . . Not beauty, not you, but money! 13, people are awesome-I won't pay back if I say no!

14, if the ear itches, it proves that someone misses you; If your eyes itch, it proves that someone wants to see you; If your lips itch, it proves that someone wants to kiss you; If your body itches. . . . Stop joking, it's time for a bath! ! ! 15, I saw you that day. You are very uncomfortable sitting in the sun. I asked you what you were doing, and you smiled mysteriously: "Keep your voice down, no one will call me an idiot when I get tanned! 16, the legend of Cupid: one arrow through the heart represents love at first sight, two arrows through the heart represent wishful thinking, and three arrows represent three lucky lives. . . I am shooting an arrow at you. . . Small sample, you just wait to become a hedgehog! 18, you know? I dreamed of you again last night. We snuggled up by the river. You look at me, I look at you. Suddenly, you looked up and said three words to me affectionately: "woof, woof, woof!" " "19, I dreamed of you yesterday. Really, the sky is so blue and the sea is so clear. Lovely you are swimming in the sea, and I poked you in the back with that twig on the shore: hey, this little bastard is quite hard! 20. I am an onion, standing in the rain. Who dares to dip me in the sauce? His ancestor K went through hardships and crossed the north. I drink water behind the toilet, run over my legs on the train tracks and kiss pigs. what are you reading? Kiss you! 2 1, one day you won the lottery and traveled by plane for free. Sadness: The plane crashed. Hi: There are parachutes. Sadness: I can't open it. Hi: There are haystacks on the ground. Sadness: There is an iron fork on it. Hi: I didn't fall on the fork. Sadness: I didn't fall on the haystack either. . . 22, hey! I dreamed that you were swimming in the water last night. I looked worried, so I called you to come up quickly. I didn't expect you to ignore me and look up at me: what are you yelling at? Haven't you heard that dead mice are not afraid of cold? 23. Are you a dung ball that has been rolled by a small retarded dog, a cockroach that has been trampled, and adopted by a mentally retarded master in Shaolin Temple, claiming that pear blossoms crush begonia? 24. Melatonin said that if you don't go to cut class today, you will skip professional courses. Hui Renbao said he fled, and I also fled. Dabao said you escaped today? Hao Di said that everyone's escape is the real escape. Colgate said that our goal is that no one will attend classes! 26. The three most popular words during the Iraq war: peace, war and discovery. Connect these three words and read them aloud for three times, and a historical unsolved case will be solved. 27. If autumn leaves, I will wait for you in the snow. If the world dies, I will love you in heaven. If you leave, I will miss you with tears. . . If I leave, . . . . The feed is in the trough, don't starve yourself! 28. Not every flower can represent love, but roses do. Not every tree can stand thirst, but poplar can. Not every pig can get a text message, but you did it! 29. 10 I can't stand it. I miss you very much. I want to see you every day. You can give it to me yourself. I will never let you down seven times. I will keep you by my side forever. I will never be half-hearted, half-hearted. I swear I only keep you 1 pig! 30. being ignored? Being bullied? Nobody loves you? It doesn't matter! Even if no one in this world loves you, cares about you and values you! My door is still open for you! Maoming mental hospital gives you a five-star home! 3 1, I can't sleep when I miss you, I have a lot of thoughts when I love you, and I am lonely without you. I want to be a wing bird and fly to your head to pull a pile of shit, yeah! 32. Missing is like chocolate, bitter! That's great. Dare not miss you! Afraid of missing you! I dare not say I miss you, but I'm afraid I miss you more! In fact, I really miss you, miss you, and become a pig! 33. This may be the short message I sent you in recent days. I'm hesitating to tell you that I'm going to Japan, and all the formalities have been completed. I won't forget you, really. My family got bird flu, so I went to infect it. . . 34. When the devil knocks on the glass in front of your window, the toad gets into your bed, the poisonous snake ripples on your head, the earthworm shuttles on your toes, and the centipede has climbed into your nostrils. Don't be afraid! I rode a snail to save you! Drive! Drive! 35. The Tang Priest met a beautiful woman on his way to learn from the scriptures. Bajie decided to marry her. Wukong suspects that it is a demon. Tang Priest said it doesn't matter. Send a text message to test it. If she doesn't reply to the message, she will marry Bajie! Our destiny began thousands of years ago. That autumn, we played in the maple forest with fire leaves. You chase me. Finally, when you caught up with me, you kindly bit me. At that time, my name was Lv Dongbin. 37. I have always been an unknown knight in the Jianghu, until one day I met the most mysterious you in the legend and even called out your name. Since then, I have also had a famous name in the Jianghu: Zhu Zhixia! 38. Calculation problem, choose a number from 1 to 8 as A, A plus 3 minus 2 to get B, B times 9 to get C; Add 10 digits to C to get D, multiply D by 50 to get E, and subtract 200 from E to get F, which means your life. Very clever! I dreamed that you were singing last night! Your singing is very sweet, and your sentimental expression touched me. I almost vowed to love you for 10 thousand years, but I dare not, because you are singing to a donkey: I will be you when I grow up! 40. Legend has it that wishing on a meteor is smart. I wait every day. That day, I finally saw a meteor. I close my eyes and make a wish before it falls, hoping that you will become smarter from an idiot. When I opened my eyes, I was surprised to find that the meteor flew back in the same way! 4 1, full moon night, the top of Huashan, alone, like a fairy? Long hair fluttering, far-reaching eyes, holding an object, pointing to the sky! Retract slowly, stretch slowly, look up and shout after three laps: "Unicom, no signal!" " If I had a candy, I would give it to you, because I want you to be happy. If I had two sweets, we would each have one. I think we would be very happy together. If I had three sweets, I would give you two, because I hope you have more cavities than me! 43. The falling rain reminds me of my infinite thoughts ~ ~ To put it bluntly, I miss you! When the weather is fine, I will take you to that green meadow. But I agreed with you in advance: only eat grass and don't arch the ground! 44. It's the New Year, and there's nothing for you. I'll change all the change in my pocket into steel for you. If someone bullies you, hit him with steel and let him know how powerful we rich people are. Don't forget to pick it up after smashing it. We must live!