Humorous jokes among readers

According to modern humor theory, people who laugh together show that they have the same interests, which is the first step towards social success, and it is also a crucial step. I collected some humorous jokes from readers for you. Let's have a look.

Selected humorous jokes among readers 1) In the dormitory of college students at night, students often talk about their ideal partners at night. One summer night, the air was sultry and abnormal, and it was difficult for a boy to fall asleep in the male dormitory. Let me help you talk about the requirements for your future girlfriend. Xiao Yang is a very cheerful handsome boy and is very popular with girls. He proudly said, "Well, I'll find someone who is 1.6 meters tall, slim and handsome." He is not very handsome, but Xiao Wu, the president of the school literature society, said slowly, "I don't have high requirements for my girlfriend, as long as I am worthy of her, have a gentle personality and have bright long hair." Xiao Wang is a man with little literary talent and not handsome enough, but he is good at flattering. He sighed and said, "Well, I have the lowest requirements for my girlfriend, as long as it doesn't affect the city."

2) In the kindergarten class, the teacher asked the children to ask questions, and everyone asked them one by one. A child kept his hand in the air, but when it was his turn to ask questions, he put it down. The teacher asked him, "What's the matter? You waited so long, why did you put your hand down when it was your turn to speak? " The child replied, "It's too late, it's already wet."

3) After studying at night, I went back to my dormitory. Lu Yu was a fairy mm, so I followed. I always wanted to strike up a conversation, but I didn't have the courage to go forward until fairy mm was about to enter the girls' building. I gritted my teeth and stepped forward to ask mm loudly: Excuse me, classmate, are you a woman? Later ... later, I enjoyed the white eyes of the fairy mm for two years.

4) Summer is hot and stuffy. Fortunately, the bathroom in the girls' building faces the boys' building, because the dormitory opposite is occupied by girls. As a result, the binoculars in the stationery store near the college were out of stock. Girls are not stupid, and soon, the department store curtains near the college are out of stock. College leaders expressed their concerns. In the second semester, all the girls across the street moved out, and all the girls in the hospital lived in the newly-built girls' dormitory area. However, after the new girls' dormitory area, there is a new boys' dormitory area that will be completed soon. So, a few days later, posters were posted in front of the nearby shops: we have a new batch of advanced telescopes and extra-thick curtains, and the prices are favorable.

5) On a hot summer day, a teacher dozed off in class. He was embarrassed when he woke up and coaxed the students into saying, "I just dreamed of Duke Zhou." The next day, the students were asleep in class. The teacher was furious, knocked the student awake with a ruler and scolded him for not sleeping in class. The students argued, "I also went to see Duke Zhou." Mr. Wang asked angrily, "What did Duke Zhou tell you?" The student replied, "Duke Zhou said he didn't see you yesterday."

6) In the middle of class, the teacher walked beside Xiaoming. "Xiao Ming, why don't you listen carefully?" The teacher asked, "What are you doing?" Xiao Ming looked up and replied, "Teacher, I am writing a motto." "Oh, really?" The teacher picked up Xiao Ming's exercise book as he spoke. I saw it read: motto: I swear I will finish my homework on time in the future. If I don't finish it on time, I'll never swear again. -Xiaoming

7) Postgraduate entrance examination, computer specialized course. After the exam bell rang, I was bending my head to do the paper. Suddenly, the head of the computer department rushed in with a blue face, searched everyone's papers, and then declared the exam invalid and took it again the next afternoon. I was surprised to be told that the standard answers were printed on the back of the test questions. That night, the school leaders went to the news broadcast. The next day, take the exam again. Look at the newspaper, or yesterday's problem! Suddenly, I fainted.

8) The teacher assigns homework. "Exercise 4, just do it." Suddenly I heard several boys shouting, "Teacher, there is still one question missing. Arrange another one. " The teacher was overjoyed and thought that we were finally looking forward to the day of active learning. So he smiled and said, "Well, add something." As soon as the bell rang, all the boys ran to the lottery betting station and said, "Our teacher is really good. Now we even have a special number. "

9) Facing the enemy's gun, Wen Tianxiang insisted on saying no ... (No wonder the Southern Song Dynasty was going to perish, and the other side had modern weapons. Yesterday I went to Xtep with my classmates and bought a pair of shoes. I asked my buddy what it was like to wear them, and he said with a smile, Xtep is an unusual feeling! I was knocked down by the door frame as soon as I went out!

10) In class, the teacher asked the students to judge right and wrong on the spot. Teacher: "Xiao Lin, please judge." Kobayashi: "I think the answer should be' wrong'." Teacher: "Why?" Kobayashi: "Because Xiaoyan answered correctly earlier, but you didn't let her sit down."

1 1) There is a teacher who writes his thesis in a very special way. One day, he was distributing the finished paper. Send it to the classmate who did well in the exam, and then send it to him. Students who do well in the exam will put it on the table for him. Students who don't do well in the exam will give it to him on the ground. It's finished, and there are still three papers left. He said that these papers will be buried at a fixed point tonight, and the excavation site will be notified separately. ......

12) once the teacher asked the students to talk about their feelings about the exam. I saw a classmate write: Part I: Part II Year after year: Make-up exams are questioned by us every year: You have to pay.

A humorous joke in the classic reader 1) An ugly girl secretly loves a boy. One day, the boy said to the woman, I can't sleep without looking at your picture every night. The ugly girl was overjoyed. The boy went on to say, because I was scared to death at first sight.

2) Robber: Tell me the password of the safe! Don't say kill you! Salesgirl: I won't tell you if you kill me! You ruined me, and I won't tell! The robber looked her up and down and said, you must be beautiful!

3) A classmate, instead of buying toilet paper, always takes mine. I saw it once: Why do you always take mine? ! He replied: What a stingy man! Isn't it just a little toilet paper I'll give it back to you when I'm finished!

4) Xiaoming sent his girlfriend home and asked at the door, May I kiss you? My girlfriend, who has only known me for a week, replied: shameless! Xiao Ming said: shameless? Then I'll kiss!

5) "The power went out suddenly when I was watching a movie yesterday. People waited in the dark for more than ten minutes. " "Is there no panic in the cinema?" "I panicked-then the phone came in."

6) A beautiful woman seduced the bartender in a bar, and the beautiful woman put her finger on the bartender's lips to let him suck. Finished, beauty: Please tell your manager that the toilet paper in the ladies' room is used up.

7) Two people take a double-decker bus and one goes upstairs. After a while, he hurried down: never sit on it, there is no driver there!

8) A teenager came to buy condoms. The boss was surprised. He said, I want to give a gift to my girlfriend. The boss said: Do you want to wrap it up? He said, no, it was originally used to wrap gifts.

9) The young man is wearing a miniskirt and stroking his girlfriend's thigh: Dear, I love you! Girlfriend is infatuated with being caressed: Come again, higher! The young man raised his voice: Dear, I love you!

10) A couple is watching a dance in the ballroom. The husband said with emotion: this world is really strange. Every ugly fool has a beautiful wife. The wife smiled and said, honey, you really know how to kiss up.

1 1) The police officer who executed the death penalty walked into the cell and shook his raincoat to announce the order to the prisoner. The prisoner said in surprise: You have to go to the execution ground in such a heavy rain! Officer: What do you have to complain about? I have to come back in the rain!

12) Lao Wang sat in the restaurant for a long time and saw other guests eating with relish. But he still didn't have a waiter to greet him, so he got up and asked the boss, Excuse me, am I sitting in the audience?

13) lovers stare at each other in the restaurant. You're so good. I want to bite you. Girl: I want to bite you too. The waiter standing at the table coughed and asked, What would you like to drink?

14) My husband once in a while. After two days, my wife took a bite and said, What's wrong with you? It's either light or salty. The husband replied: this time I made up the salt I put less last time.

15) "I met a girl the other day. I loved her at first sight. " "That's great! But why don't you go after her? " "I glanced at her again."

16) The child pointed to the person in front and said to his mother: There is not a hair on that person's head! Mom: Keep your voice down so that others can hear you. Child: Doesn't he know?

17) A Jun showed his jokes to his deskmate, who laughed after watching them. A Jun asked excitedly: Is my joke good? The deskmate replied: Can this be called a joke?

Customer: How much is the haircut? Barber: Ten yuan. Customer: It's so expensive! I am a bald man. Barber: Of course I know. One is for a haircut and the other is for a haircut.

2) The child came to his mother in tears, and her mother asked, What's the matter, baby? Child: Dad accidentally hit his finger with a hammer. Mom: Then why are you crying? Child: Because I just laughed.

3) The bookstore assistant keeps a straight face: Don't look, this is a book seller, not a library! Customer: What's your attitude? You didn't smile. Shop assistant: Are you here to buy a book or a smile?

Customers complain that these apples are really expensive. The fruit shop assistant replied, don't say that. Look how red they are. Customer: You charge too much, of course they blush!

5) It was late at night, and the child began to cry while sleeping. Father decided to sing a lullaby to coax him. As a result, just after singing a few words, the next door protested: let the children cry!

6) The young man who just learned to ride a motorcycle accidentally bumped into an old woman. Young man: Grandma, I'm sorry! I'm not good at riding. Grandma: I'm not good at riding. I can play so accurately!

7) Mom: Lipstick was given by a male classmate. Daughter: Yes. Mom: Girls shouldn't just accept gifts from boys. Give it to him quickly. Daughter: I want to return it. I put it in my mouth every day and give it back to him.

8) M: My wife is missing. Please help me find it! Policeman: What are her characteristics? Man: Not tall or fat, a little bald, with a big nose. Policeman: Then why are you looking for her?

9) Old woman: You want to invite the heroine, and I'll apply for it. Director: But you are late. Old woman: I came as soon as I saw the advertisement. Why am I late? Director: You are late.

10) The female conductor enjoys the cool with her husband. When they got home, the woman entered the door first, and her husband shouted outside: I'm still outside! The wife said, what are you arguing about? Wait for the next bus!

1 1) Why is the hair getting less and less every day? Because I have something on my mind every day ""What do you worry about every day? I'm worried that my hair is getting less and less every day! "

12) A fat woman saw a gentle and graceful young woman eating Dongdong nearby. Ask the waiter: What does that girl eat? The waiter said: diet meal! "Oh, then give me two diet meals!"

13) A nearsighted passenger was wandering by the river when he saw a sign standing in the middle. Unfortunately, the words in the middle could not be read clearly, so he had to take off his shoes and wade into the river, only to see the sign saying: beware of crocodiles.

14) A young man showed his picture to his girlfriend. Girlfriend: Yes, it's as good as my brother's. Youth: Is your brother an artist? Girlfriend: No, he is a third-grade pupil.

15) the professor saw a piece of paper with the words bastard written on it from the meeting place, paused, smiled and said, which gentleman signed it but forgot to ask questions?

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