What jokes do you tell when you are bored at home?

1. Cash is not allowed in the canteen.

Cash is not allowed in the canteen recently.

A buddy went to cook and took out a 10.

The aunt who cooked rice waved her hand and said no.

The buddy paused, said thank you, took the meal and left. ...

2. Husband: What time is it?

Husband: What time is it?

Wife: Ten o'clock.

Husband: Is it complete?

Wife: It's too early. No one else is sleeping!

Husband: I mean ten o'clock sharp?

Wife: Eleven o'clock then.

Husband: Shit, I asked you if it was 10 sharp.

Wife: Damn it, 1 1 point will be done. I won't be happy if you don't fuck for a day, will you?

Husband: I'm just asking, is it 10 sharp?

Wife: fix it, fix it now! ! ! ! !

3. Big dog who does his duty to look after the house

I saw a big dog sleeping on the mat in front of a store selling trinkets, and I thought to myself, this dog is really conscientious.

Two girls wanted to go into the store, but they were afraid. They shouted, "Boss, let your dog go away. We want to go in. We are afraid of dogs!" "

As a result, the proprietress replied with tears: "This is not my dog, I am afraid of dogs!" " "

I smiled at that moment. ...

4. Have the courage to tow the car away.

A traffic policeman was issuing a ticket when a man came up with a cigarette in his mouth and shouted, "What else can you do besides issuing a ticket?"

The traffic police ignored it. The man continued, "Drag the car away if you dare!"

The traffic police are very angry. The man continued: "There is a kind of drag!"

The traffic police couldn't bear to take out the walkie-talkie when dragging the car away. The traffic police kindly said, "Come to the fifth brigade in the afternoon."

Man: "It's none of my business! The car is not mine! " Say that finish humming a ditty riding a bike.

5. Jin Pingmei has seen too much.

A student's parents visit the teacher.

Parents: What's the teacher's name?

Teacher: Oh, my name is Jinlian Wang.

Parents warmly hold the teacher's hand and say, Oh, Miss Pan!

6. Find a responsible person

A colleague's daughter in junior high school said that the teacher taught them: "You have no problem falling in love, but you must find someone who is responsible. What's the use of those who shake your hand as soon as they see the teacher? "