Funny phrases suitable for mass communication.

1. I bought a new mobile phone number, and I want to find a funny sentence to send 1, with a new number and a new atmosphere. I am XX, I never turn off my phone, and I am always in the service area. Welcome to dinner.

2. Hello, I'm XX. I've always been cautious about changing the number. I choose my own number, I am responsible for it, and it is easy for everyone to remember. XXXXX, made by China Mobile/China Unicom, is in line with the taste of China population. I'll use it later.

The last number of 3.XX was killed in the front line. This is XXXX's new number. After using it, people grow taller and have a good figure. The important thing is that they are not stupid and feel good.

4. the State Council announced that the mobile phone number of XX was changed from XX, XX, XX to XXXXX. All units and individuals must write it down. If there is any omission, the consequences are at your own risk.

I chose it from the internet. I hope I can help you.

2. The sentence 1 applies to Ren Qingqun on WeChat. The sun is shining, daisies are in full bloom, and time is just a coat that will be taken off at any time.

I love you more than all the poems in the past. 2. The greatest calmness is that you can still love life after seeing through it.

Take up, take responsibility, don't shirk, don't escape, and face the cold life. 3. If you can, turn yourself into a butterfly on the bank of butterfly spring, or a white cloud crossing the city wall, bearing the burden of meeting and parting.

The vows of eternal love are gone forever. Flowers bloom and fall, and you cry sadly. You have left, and the once prosperity has declined, leaving only bits and pieces of beauty. Iraqis are heartbroken, heroes do not regret, pass by without nostalgia, countless flowers bloom, flowers wither, flowers break, flowers fail, flowers cry all their lives, and they wait helplessly and sadly for the next reincarnation. Turn around the world, see through the opportunities of life, wander around the moon, and have the best wishes for the Lantern Festival. I will open up a yearning field for you, plant care and mourning, and wish you a happy holiday and a big step in life.

Life is beautiful only when it comes out, but it is not brilliant when it comes out. Many things can be done without my thinking.

A lot of things, not what I want, I can get. I'm not staying. Many people can stay.

You are like sunshine between your fingers, warm and beautiful, but you can never catch it. I walked in the desert of love and lost my way when I came; The scenery along the way, I can only walk and forget, no longer tangled and tangled, a person is also very good.

6. The past, present and future of life are all a state of lost years. It is not to live those blind expectations or those annoying hopes, to let go of gains and losses, and to wait for fate is a happy way of life, simply to finish as soon as possible and wait for those complicated ones. 7. The older you get, the sadder you get, and the more you can see through people's hearts.

8. Qingcheng has a pair of eyes that can see through people. He hides his emotions in his eyes, thinking that others can't hear and guess. Cheng Yu has a pair of ears, and he can hear all the unpleasant sounds. He kept the secret in his heart, thinking that others could not see it or find it.

Qingcheng is deaf and Cheng Yu is blind. Will you be my eyes in the future? Will you be my ear in the future? 9, life is alive, the road is in a hurry, people with worries are destined to live a hard life, because it is too easy to be influenced by other people's emotions.

Paranoid people are always thinking, and the result is that they are trapped in a mess of thoughts and can't move. Sometimes, it is better to care less than to care more.

10, the world is cold and people's hearts are complicated. You know, you'll go through it. But there must be many people in the world who are in the same situation as you. The difference is that they see through human feelings but are not worldly, fade away and remain simple, and they can still be kind when they encounter indifference.

Choosing dirty, ugly and indifferent is better than choosing to be yourself and seeing through without disappointment, which is definitely better than falling.

3. The weather is very cold. Sending a set of attention statements 1 is very funny. It's cold, and it's cooling down, you know, my friend; Miss you, miss you, send short messages; Write it and send it to remind you to add clothes; After reading it, I was very happy. Good luck in an autumn!

The stars tell you how much I miss you and know that I miss you. The moon shows concern and knows that I am thinking of you; Dewdrops understand my wish and know that I am expecting you; The breeze sends greetings, knowing that I want to tell you: it's cold, please put on more clothes.

It's cold and cold. Send blessings to show friendship. Please smile after reading it, indicating that you understand my mind. Write a reply to express your gratitude. Show me your sincerity. It's easy to send information. Don't let me always lose heart. I wish you happiness. It's cold, if you care

4. It's cold and white clouds are clothes; The ground is cold, and the leaves are loaded; Yan was cold and moved south; Fish is cold and deep; When winter comes, I will sew a thoughtful dress for you with my blessing, and wear it in your heart to protect you from the snow and frost in Wan Li!

5. The weather is cold and foggy. Look at the wind outside the window. People are very busy, the work is very heavy, and the time is too tight to spare time; Although the money is small and the people are poor, we should still send blessings: it is cold in winter, take care of yourself, be healthy and safe, and be relaxed.

6. It's cold, please pay attention: in order to make everyone have a warm winter, don't tell cold jokes, don't be humorous, and don't send cold messages. Please respond positively and wish everyone a warm winter!

7. Leaves fall, bringing the prayer of the wind; The grass withered, bringing the rain to leave; It's cold, which brings the throat of winter; I am here, send a short message to wish you good health and all the best!

8. Another cold air, one layer of spring rain and one layer of cold; No matter how tired you are at work, you also put a smile on your face; Cherish friendship, always remember, but don't forget to send text messages; The cold snap is coming to remind you, don't forget to add clothes when it's cold!

9. May the cold wind blow away with troubles, snowflakes dance with happiness, happiness shines in winter, and information is conveyed with heart. Don't forget to add clothes when it is cold. Health is the most important!

10. Month tells us that we have opportunities every day, and life tells us to know how to feel. My friend, it doesn't matter whether we meet or not, but it is precious to miss you in my heart. Friendly reminder: it's cold, take care of yourself and put on more clothes!

4. Humorous sentences suitable for chatting 1. A buddy's screen name is "Because of the egg pain", and then when he logs off, he will remind me that your friend is logged off because of the egg pain.

2. I am an onion. In the middle of the road, whoever touches my soy sauce will scold his ancestors.

3. When cleaning, the teacher will say that the school is my home and management depends on everyone; I'm late, the teacher said. Do you think school is your home? !

I will arrive in 5 minutes. If not, please read this message again.

It is a tangled problem to wake people up in the middle of the night to go to the toilet.

6. A scum like you can make you live for two episodes at most in my life series …

7. I feel so unlucky to know you in such a big world.

8. There is no fish in clear water, and the villain is invincible.

9. You look serious as if you can really understand people!

10. You have no image of a pig, but you have the temperament of a pig.

1 1. There are no women who can't marry men, only men who can't marry women.

12. When men have cigarettes and wine, they have stories; When a woman is rich and beautiful, there will be tragedy.

13. Does it itch? Itching is right. When the wound is growing, so are the nerve endings.

14. I love you, which is pure fiction. If there are similarities, it is purely coincidental.

15. How many children have been hurt by exams and how many honest children have learned to cheat.

5. Give me some funny short messages 1 suitable for sending to friends.

Woman: "I can marry anyone as long as I have money." Man: "Will you marry the safe in the bank?" 2。

When arguing, the difference between a man and a woman is like the difference between a pistol and a machine gun. 3。

My wife wants to lose weight, so she goes cycling every day. As a result, the horse lost 40 pounds in a month.

4。 Patient: "Doctor, you left your scissors in my stomach."

"Never mind, I have another one." 5。

Judge: Why do you print counterfeit money? The defendant said innocently, because I can't print real money. 6。

Wife: "Men are timid." Husband: "Not necessarily, otherwise why should I marry you?"

7。 Part I: Hahahahaha, Part II: Hehehehehehehehehehehehe.

Horizontal batch: neuropathy 8. The first year: he said, she listened.

The following year: She said and he listened. The third year: they said that the neighbors listened.

9。 If the cold world we live in is still hard to change, at least I still have your face to melt the ice and snow.

10。 Thief A: "How much did you rob today?" Thief B: "No, just read the newspaper tomorrow."

1 1。 Teacher: "Peter, do you know how many years a mouse can live?" Peter: "It depends on the cat's mind."

12。 Kangaroo said to the dog, "I can put my mobile phone in my bag, and you can only hang it on your ass!" " " 13。

Pig Bajie: My name is Sai Pan An, and many beautiful women are waiting for me! The Monkey King: Unless you surf the Internet, you idiot. 14。

The daughter asked her mother, "Was Dad shy before?" "If he wasn't shy, you would be at least four years older now!" 15。 Father: You are so old, it's time to find a wife.

Son: Yes, but there are too many people. Whose wife am I looking for? 16。 Woman: "Why do you always chew candy when you talk to me?" Man: "How can there be so many sweet words without chewing sugar?" 17。

Woman: "Does your fiance know your age?" Woman B: "Yes, he knows part of it." 18。

"I regard her as the North Pole!" "How?" "She is as cold as ice and attracts me like a magnet." 19。

It's hard to realize that Mahaha was driving with his family on a country road. Suddenly, he found a frog crossing the road. Mahaha quickly stopped the car, stepped down and put the frog on the side of the road.

The frog thanked haha very much and promised to realize haha's wish. So Maha said to the frog, "There will be a dog selection competition next week, and I want my dog to win the first place."

"The frog asked to see the dog, and Ma Haha took the dog out of the car. The frog saw that the dog was stupid and fat, and it only had three legs.

"I'm afraid this wish is difficult to realize. You'd better change your wishes! " The frog said guiltily. "Well, let my wife win the first prize in the next beauty contest!" Mahaha demanded.

The frog let Mahaha's wife get off the bus, looked at it and said, "Can I see that dog just now?" 20。 Such an ugly woman There is a woman who is so ugly that men avoid her for three points.

A woman's greatest wish is to be kidnapped by traffickers, and then ... so, whenever night falls, she lingers on a sparsely populated country road, waiting for that moment. Many things happen. Late that night, she was finally kidnapped by kidnappers and stuffed into the car.

The kidnapper came to see the kidnapper leader with his "victory fruit", ready to ask for a reward. However, when the kidnapper saw the woman's appearance, he could not help cursing the kidnapper for his lack of vision and ordered him to let the woman off at once.

The kidnapper told the woman to get off at the boss's order, but the woman didn't mean to get off at all. After a long stalemate, the kidnappers used threats, intimidation, beatings and other means to let the woman get off the bus, but the woman never gave in and just didn't get off the bus.

When the kidnapper leader saw it, he shouted helplessly: "Forget it! Don't want the car! " 2 1。 A priest and a bus driver died at the same time. The bus driver went to heaven and the priest went to hell. This is unfair.

The priest devoted his life to the church, but went to hell, which was unfair. So he complained to god.

Father: "Lord! I have devoted my life to the church and take your followers to pray every Sunday. Why am I not as good as a bus driver? Go to hell? " God: "Yes! That's why you went to hell.

You take your followers to pray and preach every Sunday, but they are all sleeping on their heads! But the bus driver rampages in the street every day, while his passengers are praying! " 22。 As soon as the drug dealer came out from the pharmacy to buy medicine, the pharmacy buddies hurried over.

Dude: Sorry, what you want is tonic water. I gave you poison by mistake. Customer: Look at you, something terrible almost happened.

Dude: Yes, the boss will definitely scold me when he finds out. Poison is twice as expensive as tonic. 23。

Avoid asking questions. A famous botany professor and his teaching assistant are studying new varieties of plants. One day, the teaching assistant asked the professor, "What should you do when you go for an internship in the field and meet an unknown plant?" The professor replied, "I usually walk in the front, and then step on all the plants I don't know to prevent students from asking questions."

" 24。 A worker of the activity director asked the director's secretary, "Why does the director always sit in the front row at the theatre?" "Leading the masses.

""But why did he sit in the middle at the movies? " "Go deep into the masses." "When the guests come, why is there always our factory director at the table?" "On behalf of the masses. "

"But he sits in his office every day ..." "Fool, trust the masses!" 25。 Assassin Two gangsters were lying in wait, trying to plot against someone, but they never saw him.

One of them was anxious and said, "What's the matter? He hasn't come yet, I hope nothing will happen to him! " 26。 John with only one tooth: "Your father is like a miser. You see, he is a shoemaker, and you still wear such worn shoes. "

Tom: "What about your father? He is a famous dentist, but your little brother has only one tooth! " 27。 One day, a poet and his friends were drinking together.

They ordered an appetizer and four sparrows. His friend ate three in a row and was about to eat the last one. The poet said, "Is it my turn to eat this one?" My friend sighed and said, "I wanted to give it to you, but I really couldn't bear to break them up." Let them reunite. "

After that, he ate the last one.

6. Give me some funny messages 1. Woman: "I can marry anyone as long as I have money."

Man: "Will you marry the safe in the bank?" When arguing, the difference between a man and a woman is like the difference between a pistol and a machine gun. My wife wants to lose weight, so she goes cycling every day.

As a result, the horse lost 40 pounds in a month. 4. Patient: "Doctor, you left your scissors in my stomach."

"Never mind, I have another one." Judge: Why do you print counterfeit money? The defendant said innocently, because I can't print real money.

6. Wife: "Men are timid." Husband: "Not necessarily, otherwise why should I marry you?"

7. Part I: Hahahahaha Part II: Hehehehehehehehehehehehe. Horizontal criticism: mental illness 8. The first year: he said, she listened.

The following year: She said and he listened. The third year: they said that the neighbors listened.

9. If the cold world we live in is still hard to change, at least I still have your face to melt the ice and snow. 10. Thief A: "How much did you rob today?" Thief B: "No, just read the newspaper tomorrow."

1 1. Teacher: "Peter, do you know how many years a mouse can live?" Peter: "It depends on the cat's mind." 12. Kangaroo said to the dog, "I can put my mobile phone in my bag, and you can only hang it on your ass!" 13. Pig Bajie: I changed my name to Sai Pan An, and many beautiful women are waiting for me! The Monkey King: Unless you surf the Internet, you idiot.

14. The daughter asked her mother, "Was Dad shy before?" "If he wasn't shy, you would be at least four years older now!" 15. Father: You are so old, it's time to find a wife. Son: Yes, but there are too many people. Whose wife am I looking for? 16. Female: "Why do you always chew candy when you talk to me?" Man: "How can there be so many sweet words without chewing sugar?" 17. Female: "Does your fiance know your age?" Woman B: "Yes, he knows part of it."

18. "I regard her as the North Pole!" "How?" "She is as cold as ice and attracts me like a magnet." 19. It's hard to realize that Mahaha and his family are driving along a country road. Suddenly, he found a frog crossing the road.

Mahaha quickly stopped the car, stepped down and put the frog on the side of the road. The frog thanked haha very much and promised to realize haha's wish.

So Maha said to the frog, "There will be a dog selection competition next week, and I want my dog to win the first place." The frog asked to see the dog, and Ma Haha took the dog out of the car.

The frog saw that the dog was stupid and fat, and it only had three legs. "I'm afraid this wish is difficult to realize. You'd better change your wishes! " The frog said guiltily.

"Well, let my wife win the first prize in the next beauty contest!" Mahaha demanded. The frog let Mahaha's wife get off the bus, looked at it and said, "Can I see that dog just now?" 20. Such an ugly woman One woman is so ugly that men avoid it.

A woman's greatest wish is to be kidnapped by traffickers, and then ... so, whenever night falls, she lingers on a sparsely populated country road, waiting for that moment. Many things happen. Late that night, she was finally kidnapped by kidnappers and stuffed into the car.

The kidnapper came to see the kidnapper leader with his "victory fruit", ready to ask for a reward. However, when the kidnapper saw the woman's appearance, he could not help cursing the kidnapper for his lack of vision and ordered him to let the woman off at once.

The kidnapper told the woman to get off at the boss's order, but the woman didn't mean to get off at all. After a long stalemate, the kidnappers used threats, intimidation, beatings and other means to let the woman get off the bus, but the woman never gave in and just didn't get off the bus.

When the kidnapper leader saw it, he shouted helplessly: "Forget it! Don't want the car! " 2 1. It's unfair that a priest and a bus driver died at the same time, but the bus driver went to heaven and the priest went to hell. The priest devoted his life to the church, but went to hell, which was unfair.

So he complained to god. Father: "Lord! I have devoted my life to the church and take your followers to pray every Sunday.

Why am I not as good as a bus driver? Go to hell? "God:" Yes! That's why you went to hell. You take your followers to pray and preach every Sunday, but they are all sleeping on their heads! But the bus driver rampages in the street every day, while his passengers are praying! "22. As soon as the drug dealer came out from the drugstore to buy medicine, the drugstore boy hurried over.

Dude: Sorry, what you want is tonic water. I gave you poison by mistake. Customer: Look at you, something terrible almost happened.

Dude: Yes, the boss will definitely scold me when he finds out. Poison is twice as expensive as tonic. 23. avoid asking questions A famous botany professor and his teaching assistant are studying new varieties of plants.

One day, the teaching assistant asked the professor, "What should you do when you go for an internship in the field and meet an unknown plant?" The professor replied, "I usually walk in the front and then trample all the plants I don't know to death to avoid students asking questions." 24. A worker of the activity factory director asked the factory director's secretary, "Why does the factory director always sit in the front row at the theatre?" "lead the masses."

"But why did he sit in the middle at the movies?" "Go deep into the masses." "When the guests come, why is there always our factory director at the table?" "on behalf of the masses."

"But he sits in his office every day ..." "Fool, trust the masses!" Assassin Two gangsters were lying in wait, trying to plot against someone, but they never saw him. One of them was anxious and said, "What's the matter? He hasn't come yet, I hope nothing will happen to him! " 26. A Tooth John: "Your father is like a miser. You see, he is a shoemaker, and you still wear such worn shoes. "

Tom: "What about your father? He is a famous dentist, but your little brother has only one tooth! " 27. Conscience can't bear it. One day, a poet and his friends were drinking. They ordered an appetizer and four sparrows.

His friend ate three in a row and was about to eat the last one. The poet said, "Is it my turn to eat this one?" My friend sighed and said, "I wanted to give it to you, but I really couldn't bear to break them up." Let them reunite. " After that, he ate the last one.

7. What is the classic sentence sent by Ren Qingqun on WeChat? 1. In this world, there is no one who has to love or do anything. Unless, that person is you, that thing is that I love you. I only have one life, and I can't give it generously to people I don't love.

If you give him a dollar a day, he will hate you as long as you don't give it to him for a day. If you hit him every day, as long as you don't hit him every day, he will kneel down and thank you. So is human nature, so is life, and so is love.

Life is only a few decades, so don't leave any regrets for yourself. Laugh happily, cry if you want, and love when you should. There is no point in suppressing yourself. There are two kinds of anguish in life: one is that the desire is not satisfied, and the other is that the desire is satisfied.

Justice is not necessarily the most important thing for yourself. No, how can anyone regard bad people as the most important people? No, even knowing it's evil. People can't compete with loneliness.

It doesn't matter how you meet, what matters is how you say goodbye. Some people, not together, still not. When I think of it, my heart still gives birth to warmth, which is "good fate" after all.

6. We all want to get closer, but we pretend to be apart every day.

7. Human life is like a flood. Without touching the island reef, it is difficult to stir up beautiful waves.

8. People depend on each other to be down-to-earth; Love, nourishing each other and refreshing; Things, * * * and efforts are simple and easy; Road, * * * with beautiful scenery; Friends, care about each other and keep in touch. May you be happy every day. Good Night!

9. You don't have to cherish the memory of yesterday, and you don't have to look forward to tomorrow. You just have to live today seriously, say what you can, do what you can, take the right path and meet the people you want to meet. I am in a good mood today. Good night

10. "Many times, we are either repeating our own lives or repeating other people's lives. In fact, true happiness is not living like others, but being able to live according to your own wishes. Good night, my friend. "