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Collect jokes vigorously

1. A large group of goblins, carrying the Tang Priest tied into zongzi, rushed into the cave and shouted, "Your Majesty! King! We finally caught the Tang Priest! The old demon woke up from sleep and looked up listlessly and said, "Send it back." The goblin asked strangely why. The old demon said, "The newspaper says that Tang Priest's meat contains carcinogens ..."

2. Wukong was exiled to Huaguoshan by Tang Priest because of Monkey King Thrice Defeats the Skeleton Demon. A few months later, Zhu Bajie suddenly visited and cried when he entered the door. Wukong asked, "Where is the team?" "Shanxi," Pig said. Wukong asked again, "But did you meet a demon again?" "No," Pig said. Wukong said urgently, "Then why are you crying?" Pig was even sadder: "Big Brother! Go home quickly! The owner was sold to the black brick kiln, and we have been looking for it for three months ... "

The Buddhist scripture team went to the poor mountainous area and could not eat for several days. Because Wukong wanted to protect his master, he had to send Friar Sand and Bajie to distant cities to find food. On the first day, he went back empty-handed because he had no money. The next day, he returned empty-handed because he had no money. Wukong was furious: "Don't come back until you get your food back!" " "On the third night, Friar Sand happily carried a big bag of rice and left a lot of money. Wukong was overjoyed and asked, "Where's Pig? Friar Sand suddenly cried sadly, "Brother, forgive me! There are so many of us, only the second brother can sell 16 yuan a catty. ...

4. Several disciples arrived in a big city, where Wukong lent, Friar Sand made the bed, and Bajie went out for a walk. In the evening, Bajie returned empty-handed. What did the Tang Priest ask? Bajie said that he was detained by the traffic police. Tang Priest asked why? Bajie said it farted. Tang Priest said that if you fart, you won't stay? Bajie said that the police said that people were holding a green Olympics and its exhaust gas exceeded the standard. ...

When Wukong came back begging, he found that Master had disappeared, and Friar Sand and Bajie were crying on the ground. Where's master? Bajie said he lost it. Wukong said to find it! Friar Sand said that he had looked everywhere, but there was nothing. Wukong looked around again, but still couldn't find it. A few people are very worried. Suddenly Wukong asked Master if the mortgage had been paid this month. Friar Sand said no. Have you paid the road maintenance fee? Friar Sand said no. Wukong said wash and sleep. Master can't escape There are banks and traffic police!

6. The Tang Priest and his disciples passed through the Lion Camel Ridge, and the lion spirit caught Tang Priest. Wukong tried his best to defeat the lion spirit and was about to kill him. Suddenly Manjusri Bodhisattva came and said that the lion essence was his mount, so he took the lion essence away. Wukong cursed him. Bajie advised him: Forget it, big brother, he is a leading driver and a civil servant.

7. When the Tang Priest and his disciples arrived at the West Gate, they saw 500 arhats coming out with their luggage on their backs. Why do they ask? The arhats sighed and said, you don't know, in a few days, the new labor law will be implemented, and all of us temporary workers have been dismissed. Where's Tang Priest? Lohan said they also had a hard time. In order to avoid the new labor law, the Western Heaven forced them to sign a contract with the company * * *, and then a third-party company sent them to work in the Western Heaven. ...

8. Tang Priest and others learned from the scriptures and made meritorious deeds, and were named Buddha and Bodhisattva. Several people happily went to various places in the Western Heaven to find a house. A few days later, they came back disappointed. The Tang Priest said that our brothers had better go home, because the price in the western paradise is too high, and we can't afford the down payment. Didn't Friar Sand say that I had heard of affordable housing? Why don't we ask Wukong's silly brother, the leader of the Western Heaven, who doesn't have a few relatives? Can it be our turn?

Bajie has been moping these days, staring at the moon in a daze at night. Wukong knew what was on his mind, and went to the Moon Palace for a visit at the weekend. When he came back, he said to Bajie, "My silly brother! I asked, China has launched a satellite, but no one has sent it to the moon yet. It is a machine. Why are you jealous? "

10. The Tang Priest took the scriptures and went behind Li See Shimin's back. Tang Priest said I was back. Li Shimin said, Oh, I have the Bible. Li Shimin said, Oh, put it there. The Tang Priest said, I have worked hard for several years before I can do such a big thing. Why are you unhappy? Do you think my travel expenses are high? Li Shimin took off her earphone and said, I downloaded your scripture in one day with BT. I knew computers were so bad. Why did I ask you to go?

Duty jury:

I am the Monkey King, also known as Sun Walker, male, unmarried. A native of Aolaizhou in the East China Sea, he was born in poverty. I lived in Huaguoshan before joining the work, which was recommended by Taibai Venus. Organizationally, he was entrusted with the positions of "Bi" and "Director of Flat Peach Garden", responsible for the work of getting on the horse and flat peach garden. However, at that time, due to serious personal heroism and blind self-worship, he never put himself in a correct position, claiming to be the "Great Sage of the Monkey", destroying the worse heaven, disrupting the Flat Peach Party, kicking down the blast furnace, insulting the leadership authority, and posing a threat to the property of the Heavenly Palace and people's lives. When the heavenly soldiers and heavenly generals were ordered to crusade and help educate me, they didn't think about repentance. Instead, they went further and further on the wrong road and failed to live up to the concern and love of the organization.

Later, the Tathagata made me understand the truth that "there are days behind the scenes, there are people outside" and sentenced me to 500 years in prison. In these 500 years, I have thought and regretted my wrong behavior, and I am determined to wash my past with practical actions.

Master Xuanzang in the Tang Dynasty did not discriminate against me because I had a "criminal record". He took in my lost youth, gave me a second life, and appointed me as his chief disciple to learn Buddhist scriptures from the west, so that I could go to many countries and visit with him. On the way to learn from the scriptures, I was strict with myself as a "big disciple", and I respected teachers and paid great attention to Taoism, especially helping backward people, such as lustful and greedy Comrade Zhu Bajie. He charged first, enjoyed last, worked hard and was selfless and fearless. After eighty-one difficulties, he finally helped master get back the Buddhist scriptures and was appointed as "fighting to win the Buddha" He has published many academic papers, such as Absolute Privacy ―― The Woman Behind the Tang Priest, White and Me ―― The Story I Want to Tell, Looking Beautiful ―― The Pig in My Eyes, etc. I have been selected into Who's Who in Heaven for many times and was hired as an associate professor at Tiangong University.

This time, the evaluation of the title of the n th phase of Tiantang was fully launched. Should my "deputy" for many years become a full member? I hereby apply, okay? Please organize a review.

Fighting Buddha: Monkey King

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