Connotation jokes

A collection of connotative jokes

Introduction: Nowadays, indescribable dirty jokes are becoming more and more rampant on the Internet, but they are deeply popular. In fact, using dirty jokes as the spice of life is also a good choice. The following is a dirty joke brought to you by me, I hope you can laugh. Excerpts of dirty jokes

1. The farmer’s cow died and he cried sadly. A fairy saw it and comforted him: "If you can do it with me, I will help you resurrect your cow." ?The farmer agreed, and the two of them did it more than a hundred times. The fairy was very satisfied and praised: "Why are you so powerful!" The farmer replied: "I'm not powerful, how could my cow die!"

2. A brother sang a song in front of his wife Song, but was beaten up by his wife. Please feel the lyrics: "In my family, there is a cool person, invulnerable, her thighs are a little thick, earthquakes are caused by her walking." Wife, wife, no matter where we go, as long as you are here, we will not be afraid of anything. Baby, baby, I am your big tree, you are too fat and I can’t cover you!?

3. On the bus this morning, a child asked his mother: Why did mom fight with dad last night? ?The mother looked at him and said: ?Children, don't talk nonsense, my father and I did not fight. ?The boy thought for a while and said:?You lied. The fights on TV all talk about three hundred rounds. I heard my father tell you last night that the fight tonight will be three hundred rounds.

4. It makes sense that Italians are handsome, otherwise they would do things at a slow and slow pace, and it would take three male waiters to settle the bill without getting their IQs right. If they weren't all as beautiful as the people in the paintings, they would have been beaten to death long ago. And because they are beautiful, if they miscalculate and smile shyly at you, you will feel that this is not a waste of time, but an affair. So those who were not beautiful were beaten to death, which is consistent with the theory of evolution.

5. I woke up in the middle of the night last night due to urination. I woke up and wanted to go to the toilet, but suddenly I found that I couldn’t move my whole body. I was shocked, holy shit, is this the legendary ghost pressing on the bed? What should I do? Suddenly I remembered that the old people said that when ghosts press on the bed, most of the ghosts are of the opposite sex, so in order not to wet the bed, I hesitated and asked silently tentatively : Sister, why don’t we change positions? Suddenly, my hands and feet can move?

6. I accompanied my husband to the hospital for a physical examination this morning. The doctor accidentally got the wrong physical examination form. It said pregnancy. When my husband saw it, he said angrily: "You insisted on being up there last night, now it's okay, I'm pregnant!"

7. I often see movies and TV shows or hear my best friends reveal, My husband made my wife unhappy, no matter how big or small. In short, she was unhappy today and immediately said: "You sleep in the living room tonight, don't touch me!", and then asked her husband to get out of bed quickly after getting angry. Implement a round of corporal punishment severely. It is said that couples quarrel at the head of the bed and quarrel at the end of the bed. Being intimate with each other will resolve some minor conflicts. As a result, the man's annoyance and depression arise spontaneously!

8. The young lady was caught by the police and gritted her teeth and refused to admit: I just sold condoms for two yuan for two hundred yuan. At best it's price gouging. The policeman asked: Is it all after selling it? What happened next? The lady said: Teach him how to use it, it is an after-sales service.

9. While waiting in line for food in the cafeteria, Xiaohong was very hungry and said: "If someone gives me a piece of bread now, I can do whatever you ask me to do." ?Xiao Ming: ?I'll give you one. ?Xiao Hong: ?What do you want to ask me to do? Xiao Ming: ?I told you not to eat. ?

10. One day, I saw a beautiful woman walking slowly toward me in a miniskirt. I had an idea, took out a dollar and threw it on the ground. I yelled, "Whose money has been lost?" The beauty came over and said, "I want to see it for only one dollar, you stinky gangster."

?After the beauty left, I regretted it very much. Why didn’t I throw away a ten-yuan piece?

11. There was a newlywed couple who was worshiping heaven and earth! When the witness shouted: I worship heaven and earth! The groom said: From now on, my wife will suffer all the consequences. Angry! Two bows in the hall; the groom said: I knelt on the floor and she slept on the bed! The couple bowed to each other; the groom said: tighten his belt from now on! Send him to the bridal chamber; the groom said: work hard for her and be busy for her! When his wife helped him to the bridal chamber , the groom said again: Alas, I am a sheep, he is a wolf!

12. Today, a few classmates were playing basketball together. One of the classmates accidentally hit his head and the blood started to flow immediately. He had to stop the bleeding quickly. , at this time, a female classmate next to me had an idea and took out the aunt's towel and said that this was okay, and then everyone accompanied him to the school infirmary. The doctor took a look and said, luckily you came quickly, if it had been a little later, his blood would have been wiped out by the aunt's towel. Suck it up!... Damn, this works too

13. A man confessed that his wife was searching for private money, and he actively knelt on the keyboard in an attempt to get his wife's forgiveness. My wife didn’t think anything was right, and then she smashed the keyboard and found other banknotes inside?

14. Last night, my relatives came to my house. I was cooking in the kitchen, and my phone vibrated. I couldn’t hear the call from my girlfriend clearly. Then I turned on the speakerphone and still couldn't hear clearly. "Please speak louder!" I ran outside to pick up the call. My girlfriend said loudly, "I'm dripping down there and my underwear is wet. Please come over and serve me!" What the hell? A room full of relatives?

15. One day in class, the teacher said, "The Foolish Old Man Moves Mountains" When the god of snakes heard about it, he became extremely afraid of it and told the emperor about it. ?Teacher:?What else don’t you understand about this sentence??Xiao Ming:?Teacher, does the God of Snakes refer to Xu Xian?Teacher:?Brother?Wu?En!?

16. Ant and Big If you get married for two or three days, you will get divorced. The judge asked the reason, and the ant said: "Can you not divorce? It takes about twenty minutes to crawl for a kiss!" The elephant was so angry: "Leave, resolute divorce!" He had to use a magnifying glass to look for a long time to kiss, but it was not easy to find it. , took a breath, and blew away again. ?As a result, they did not get divorced, and the elephant died soon after. The ant cried and cursed, "You are just an ancestor." I don’t have to do anything else in this life except bury you.

17. In yesterday’s training, there were two trainees with the same name, one boy and one girl, both pronounced Li Peng. Usually there is a self-introduction session in training classes to get acquainted with each other and enliven the atmosphere. First it was the turn of the girl Li Peng. My name is Li Peng. I come from where and what and what. What do I do? Then the boy came. My name is also Li Peng, but I am taller than her. The whole place burst into laughter.

18. When I was in elementary school, one day the red scarf suddenly disappeared. Grandpa was so anxious that he cut off his red underpants, and I wore them to school. I still can’t forget the strange look in my classmates’ eyes! Have you ever seen a red scarf with the word “福” on it?

19. Question: A man’s surname is Gao and a woman’s surname is Guo. They are going to have a baby. What is a good name for your child? Answer: The highlight of the pressure cooker is the word "press". If you don't understand, you will slowly understand...

20. I asked my buddy: What makes you feel more and more like yourself? The older I get. Brother: I found that a roll of paper is becoming more and more durable? It’s very meaningful. Appreciation of dirty jokes with connotations

1. The troops went to the field for training? Hidden in place? Subjects, the commander personally inspected. Suddenly, a soldier fell from the tree. The commander was shocked! The soldier said with a sad face: Report to the commander, You can't blame me. As soon as I climbed up a tree and took shelter, a caterpillar fell into my neck. I didn't care! After a while, a small snake crawled into my sleeve again, and I couldn't bear it! Just now, I Two more squirrels got into my pants, but I didn't move at all! But later, I heard one of the squirrels say to the other: Hey, brother, here are two walnuts! Let's eat them! Chief: I'm still young and don't want these two squirrels to cripple me.