7 English humorous stories

If you are bored in the process of learning English, you might as well read some English humorous stories to relax. English humorous stories are short, humorous and interesting. I believe you can study English together while reading. I arranged English humorous stories for you this time.

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English humorous stories 1

My husband Michael is a bus driver. When he passed an empty bus stop, one of his passengers shouted, A lady wants to get on. He pulled over and opened the door.

My husband Mike is a bus driver. Once, when he was about to pass a station where no one got on or off, a passenger asked an old lady to get on. Mike pulled over and opened the door.

After a minute, Michael saw an old woman walking slowly across the street with a cane.

After a whole minute, Mike saw an old lady walking slowly across the street to the car on crutches.

He waited patiently as she walked to the bus and climbed the steps.

Mike waited anxiously for her to come to the car and walk up the steps. When she searched her purse for her bus pass, he began to close the door. "Wait a minute!" She snapped. "My mother is coming."

When the old lady was looking for a monthly ticket, Mike wanted to close the door. The old lady stopped him: "Wait a minute, my mother is still behind!" " "

English humorous stories II

Bernie was invited to his friend's house for dinner. Before making every request to his wife, Maurice, the host, used intimate address, calling her dear, my lover, dear, sweetheart and so on. Bernie looked at Morris and said, "It's really nice that you still call your wife by those nicknames after all these years of marriage." Morris lowered his head and whispered, "To tell the truth, I forgot her name three years ago."

Bernie was invited to his friend Morris's house for dinner. At a friend's house, Bernie found that no matter what questions he asked his wife, Morris always added some intimate names before every sentence, such as dear, my love, dear, sweetheart and so on. Bernie said to Morris, "You and your wife are really close. After so many years of marriage, you still call her so close. " Morris lowered his head and whispered to Bernie, "To tell the truth, I forgot my wife's real name three years ago."

English humorous stories 3

Two men are walking through the jungle. Suddenly, a tiger appeared from a distance and ran towards them. One of them took out a pair of Nike shoes from his bag and began to put them on. The other man said with a surprised expression, "Do you think you can run faster than a tiger in it?" His friend replied, "I don't have to run faster than it. I just have to run faster than you."

Two men were walking through the jungle when suddenly a tiger appeared in the distance and rushed towards them. One of them took out a pair of Nike shoes from his bag and began to put them on. Another man looked at him in surprise and said, "Do you think you can outrun the tiger on this?" His friend replied, "I don't have to run faster than it." I just need to run faster than you. "

English humorous stories 4

A girl went to visit her blonde friend. She bought two new dogs and asked her what their names were.

A girl went to visit her blonde friend. She recently had two "dogs", so the girl asked, "What are their names?"

The blonde replied that one is called Rolex and the other is called Timex.

Blonde and blue-eyed friends said, one is Rolex and the other is Timex.

Her friend said, "Who has ever heard of someone giving a dog such a name?

The girl said, "There is no dog by that name."

"Hello ..." The blonde replied. "They are watchdog!"

"That ..." Said the blonde friend. "They are the monitor!"

English humorous stories 5

The pressure is too great.

For several years, I have been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much work pressure, but now I have found the real reason: I am tired because I am overworked. The population of this country is 237 million, of which 104 million are retirees. This leaves1330,000 to do the work. There are 85 million people in school, and the remaining 48 million people do this work. Among them, 29 million people are employed by the federal government, and the remaining190,000 people do this job. 2.8 million people are in the army, leaving162,000 people to do this work. Take14.8 million out of the total number of people who work for the state government and the municipal government to do this work. At any time, 188000 people are in the hospital, and the remaining 12 12000 people do this work. At present, there are 1, 2 1 1, 998 people in prison. Then there are only two people left to do the work. You and me. And you're sitting at the table watching jokes.

under too much pressure

I have been feeling very tired for years. I once blamed lack of sleep and stress at work. But now I have found the real reason: I feel tired because I am overworked. China has a population of 237 million. Among them, 654.38+0.04 billion has been retired. There are still 654.38+33 billion left at work. 85 million people are still in school and 48 million are working. Among them, there are 29 million employees of the federal government, the remaining/kloc-0.90 million people actually do things, 2.8 million people are in military service, and the remaining/kloc-0.62 million people are working. As a result,14.8 million employees of states and municipal governments were deleted, leaving14 million employees working. However,188,000 people are hospitalized, and now only12120,000 people are working. Among them, 1, 2 1 1, 998 people are in prison. So there are only two people left at work, you and me. And you're sitting at the table watching jokes.

English humorous stories 6

Nine reasons to study economics.

Economists are armed to the teeth and very dangerous: "Be careful of our invisible hands."

Economists can provide it on demand.

You can talk about money without making money.

You can say "take your time" with a straight face.

Mick Jagger and Arnold Schwarzenegger both studied economics. Look at their achievements.

When you are on the unemployment line, at least you will know why you are there.

If you rearrange the letters in Economics, you will get a funny nose.

Although ethics teaches us that virtue is its own reward, in economics, we are taught that reward is its own virtue.

When you are drunk, you can tell everyone that you are just studying the law of diminishing marginal utility.

Nine reasons for studying economics.

Economists know martial arts: "Be careful of our shadowless hands."

Economists can respond.

You can talk about money without making money.

You can start saying the word "trickle down" with a sad face.

Both mick jagger and Arnold Schwarzenegger studied economics. Let's see what they have become.

When you stand among the unemployed, at least you will know why you are unemployed.

If you rearrange the letters contained in the word "economics", you will get a "clown's nose".

Ethics teaches us that upholding virtue itself is reward, while economics teaches us that getting reward itself is virtue.

When you are drunk, you can tell everyone that you are just experiencing the law of diminishing marginal utility.

English humorous stories 7

Prize in Economic Sciences

Economics is the only field where two people can win the Nobel Prize if they say exactly the opposite.

Or economics is the only field where two people can share the Nobel Prize because of opposing words. Specifically, Mildred and Hayek shared one.

There are rumors that there have been similar cases in neuroscience, Gorky and Cahal. Perhaps economists are not so different! )

Economic science award

Two people with completely different views can win the Nobel Prize, which only happens in the field of economics.

Or two people with completely different views can share the Nobel Prize, which will only happen in the field of economics. Specifically, this is the case with Muir and Hayek.

There are rumors that there are similar situations in the field of neuroscience, such as Gorky and Cahal, so economists may not be so different. )

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