A 2-word humorous English story

1、A：Which do you find more important, money or friends? B: Friends, of course. A: Why? B: I can always borrow money from friends. Money and friends A: Which do you think is more important, money or friends? B: Friends, of course. A: Why? B: I can always borrow money from my friends. 2、A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for o cents."What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly."Here are o cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman? ""She is the one who sells the candy. ""Good boy Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he replied. "You're a good boy," mom said proudly. "Here's another two cents. But why are you so interested in that old woman?" "She is a candy seller." 3. Look,it's a cat! He is running after a dog.What is he doing? He wants get the dog's tail. Look, it's a cat. He's chasing another dog. What is he doing? He wants to get the dog's tail. 4. The ocean is blue. The ocean is big. There is many fish in the ocean. There is big fish. There is * * * All fish. There are fast fish and slow fish. The big fish eats the * * * all fish. The fast fish eats the slow fish. The fishmen catch all the fish. The people eat all the fish. The sea is blue. The ocean is big. There are many fish in the ocean. There are big fish. There are small fish. There are fast fish and slow fish. Big fish eat small fish. Fast fish eat slow fish. Fishermen catch all the fish. People eat all the fish. 1 cold jokes, just a few words, 1) talk back to your rice Krispies. All of a Sudden, act off, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, Explain, "No, I want to watch them." Talk to your rice cake (a snack), and then suddenly! Show that you are offended, drop the bowl of rice cakes on the ground and kick it on. Tell your roommate that you can't clean and explain, "I just want to see them tortured!" " 2) every time your roommate walks in yell, "hooray! you're back! " as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "shouldn't you be going somewhere?" Every time your roommate comes back, he cheers loudly: "Wow! You're back! ！” Then I danced around him for five minutes, then I kept looking at my watch and asked him, "Should you go out?" 3) make a sandwich. don't eat it, leave it on the floor. ignore the sandwich. wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "hey, where the heck is my sandwich! ?" Plain loudly that you are hungry. Make a sandwich, don't eat it, and throw it on the floor. Then ignore the sandwich until your roommate can't stand it and throw it away. Then you can shout hungry and ask, "Where's my damn sandwich?"! ？” 4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and Moan. While your roommate is out, stick your shoes on the ceiling, and sit on the floor when he comes back, touching his head and screaming for pain. 5) tell your roommate, "i've got an important message for you." then pretend to faint. when you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. later on, say, "oh, yeah, i remember!" Pretend to faintain. Keep this up for severe weeks. Say to your roommate, "I have important news for you!" " Then pretend to faint. Then when you wake up, tell him that you have forgotten what the news is. Wait a minute, and then he said, "Oh! I remember! " Then continue to pretend to faint. Keep playing like this for weeks. 6) Collect dreams of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil. Buy a lot of pens and arrange them on one side of the room. Then just put one of them on the other side of the room and laugh at it. 7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, Soon ..." Buy some knives and grind them every night. Look at your roommate while grinding and mutter, "Soon, soon ..." 8) Draw a tiny black line on your nose. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, "The hair, it's growing. Growing! "Draw a thin line on your nose, make it thicker every day, and then shout at your roommate:" Look! It is growing! Growing! " 9) move everything to one side of the room. ask your roommate if he knows how much an elephant weighs, And look at the floor on the empty side of the room with concern. Move everything in the room to the wall, stare at the floor seriously and ask your roommate: How much do you think an elephant can weigh? 1) collect potatoes. paint faces on them and give them names. name one after your roommate. separate your roommate's potato from the others. wait a few d Ays, and then bake your roomate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roomate, "He just didn't belong." Collect a bunch of potatoes, draw their faces and name them respectively. Then separate the one named after your roommate from the other potatoes. Bake it and eat it a few days later. Explain to your roommate, "It just doesn't get along with everyone ..." Please indicate the source of the article//qnr.cn/waiyu/Yiwen/other/291/218282.