Complete works of humorous jokes

My wife took advantage of her husband's business trip abroad and went to the beauty salon to cut her eyelids, eyebrows and eyeliner.

After her husband returned home, he looked at her big eyes for a long time and then praised her: "I haven't seen her for three weeks, and it's getting more and more beautiful!" " "The wife is full of joy.

When sleeping at night, my husband asked, "Why don't you take off your makeup?"

One day, a village woman who seldom went to the hospital went to a military hospital near her residence, and the doctor asked her to prepare for a urine test. The village woman didn't know how much she wanted, so she made a big pot and went to see a doctor.

Just about to enter the door, the doctor called a patient's name "Gao Sheng", and the village woman was very obedient and raised the urinal over her head. At this time, the soldier named "Gao Sheng" answered loudly, so the village woman "wow". ...

Wife: Do you know what is the hardest thing in the world?

Husband: I don't know.

Wife: It's your man's beard. You said you men are so thick-skinned, you can grow beards.

Husband: ... let me ask you a question. What is the thickest thing in the world?

Wife: I don't know.

Husband: Your women's faces. The beard is hard and won't grow on your woman's face. ...

A buddy drank too much at night and couldn't find a home at night. So I stood in the community, opened my voice and shouted, "Get up when you fall asleep!" " So I see many families with lights on.

The buddy then shouted, "open the window for everyone who gets up!" " "Many residents inexplicably open the windows and stick their heads out to see something.

The buddy continued to shout, "Look whose child I am and take me back!" "

Today, when the whole family was watching the costume film broadcast by Hunan Satellite TV, they suddenly foolishly asked my dad: Dad, what do you think I should call you Dad? -My dad replied weakly: You can also call me Amar.

One day, my sister went to my brother's room.

Sister: "Brother, take off my pajamas, will you?" Brother did it.

My sister said, "Take off my bra again!" So is my brother.

Sister said: "Finally, take off my underwear!" " When the younger brother finished, the younger sister picked up her clothes and said, "Don't wear my clothes any more! Pervert! ! !

After the monthly exam, the teachers read the papers attentively as usual, and the Chinese reading room suddenly burst into laughter. Everyone must have studied Zhuge Liang's Liezi, and there is a question on the test paper to explain the idiom in Liezi: Be a traitor. A classmate explained that adultery between a man and a married woman is a scientific mistake and should be punished. All the teachers couldn't help laughing their heads off after reading that test paper.

More interesting is yet to come. In Chinese class, the teacher read out the students' mistakes one by one when commenting. When reading the answer from the classmate above, the classroom was still full. The students are all smiling and looking around, wondering which master's masterpiece it is, but the whole class can't tell who made it, and some can't help asking the teacher who the author is. The teacher didn't answer, but only heard the voice of a female classmate: "What are you laughing at? You see, this is you. " The male classmate next to the female classmate laughed to a screeching halt and blushed. At this time, I am afraid that he even has a dead heart!