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How can parents improve their children's emotional abilities and prevent them from bullying at school?

Let’s start with a joke: A neighbor’s daughter was in a small kindergarten class and was complained on the first day of school. The reason was that the whole class was crying but she didn’t cry and sat there calmly watching the teacher. After coaxing them one by one, they finally calmed down. When she said, "Mom and dad don't want you," the whole class burst into tears again...

What was revealed in this joke was actually the child's passion. Ability, because this girl lacks the ability to have emotions, turns a blind eye to the sadness of her classmates, and points out the critical situation of her parents not wanting them, which is why the whole class burst into tears and the teacher fell into chaos again.

Although this is a joke, in reality more and more parents are beginning to pay attention to cultivating their children's emotional ability. ***Empathy, also known as immersion and empathy, refers to the process by which an individual recognizes the emotions and emotions of others, puts himself in their shoes, understands them, and responds accordingly. It consists of two parts, one is the ability to recognize and understand the emotions and emotions of others, and the other is making appropriate emotional responses, which is what we often call "empathy."

Children's emotional ability has a greater impact on interpersonal relationships

Words similar to emotional include understanding, understanding, sympathy, tolerance, etc., but they are also related to these. The state is different. It emphasizes the feeling of "exchange" and the appropriate response accordingly. Emotional ability directly affects a person's personality. For example, whether he is withdrawn and unsociable, or whether he is cheerful and contagious is related to whether he can build good emotional ability.

***Emotional ability also forms part of emotional intelligence and has an important influence on interpersonal relationships. Just like the little girl mentioned at the beginning, if she can "understand the situation of her classmates losing their parents" and "feel the sadness of leaving their parents" like her classmates, and then make corresponding "comforting" actions, then she will not Will be complained by teachers and become a popular child. On the contrary, insufficient cultivation of emotional ability will not only cause damage to the parent-child relationship, but also affect the child's interpersonal relationships as adults.

***The impact of emotional ability on interpersonal relationships can be reflected in various aspects such as the workplace, studies, life, and marriage. Human beings are social animals and need to be understood, respected, supported and helped by others. They also need various complex social relationships to form a complete life. Emotional ability is to connect and connect complex interpersonal relationships. The role of consciousness is very important.

Some people say that the child is too young and it is too early to have sex with him, but this is not the case. In fact, children already have emotional abilities from birth. The key depends on whether parents can guide and cultivate them correctly, whether consciously or unconsciously, there is often a big difference. For example, when a very young child goes to get vaccinations, he will cry when he hears other children crying. When an older child sees his friends around him unhappy, he will take out his own toys and snacks to share them to comfort him. Friends, these are the purest emotional abilities of children. What parents have to do is to add support on this basis so that their children can obtain more complete emotional ability training. How to cultivate children's emotional ability?

Many people confuse sympathy with passion, which are different. If you are sad and I am sad too, this is called love. If you are sad, I understand your sadness. This is called sympathy. Sympathy means that I understand how you feel and value your feelings. I care about you, but I don't necessarily have the same emotions as you.

The reason why emotional ability is particularly emphasized is that it not only emphasizes "emotion", but also "reaction", that is, standing from the other party's perspective and thinking about how to adopt corresponding strategies in this situation. Below we will focus on how parents can help their children develop emotional abilities.

1. Be sensitive to the physical and mental needs of children

In the process of raising children, especially in early childhood, parents are still very satisfied with their physical needs. But the psychological needs of children are often ignored. When children are very young, they are very dependent on their parents. Caregivers are required to be sensitive to the children's physical and mental needs, that is, to be keenly aware of the children's needs in certain aspects, and to respond actively and provide timely satisfaction. .

Sensitivity to physiological needs: If you can identify the specific reasons why your baby is crying, such as hunger, wanting to sleep, or having stinky diarrhea, and respond appropriately.

Sensitivity to companionship needs: Able to provide high-quality companionship to children and give them sufficient security. Sensitive to the need for autonomy: Treat your child as an independent individual, respect his wishes, and accept any of his ideas. It is important that children's reasonable needs are met before they can have emotions in a "satisfied" state.

2. Be “mentalizing” parents and “emotionally interact” with their children

Mentalizing in psychology refers to understanding the psychological state behind surface behaviors. Ability, this understanding can be directed at oneself or others. In order for children to have excellent emotional abilities, parents must first be "mentalized" parents. Parents must first fully understand their children's behavior and think from their perspective. Only then can they develop emotional abilities with their children. interactive exercises.

Secondly, parents should guide their children to conduct self-observation and have a preliminary understanding of themselves, and then guide them to consider the problem from the perspective of their parents and think more about "What should I do if I were a parent?" ", in order to continuously strengthen children's emotional ability. This will not only make the parent-child relationship more harmonious, but also be the beginning of the child's ability to master sexual emotions.

3. Teach children to recognize emotions and use appropriate language to describe them

You can teach children to recognize and distinguish human emotions through picture books or games. Such as the most basic states of joy, anger, sadness, joy, and fear. What does it mean when a person sheds tears and what does a smile often mean? Children should also be allowed to learn to express their emotions and understand the states of various emotions.

After perceiving and understanding, teach children to describe them in as accurate a language as possible to enrich their emotional experience and expression, so that they can better understand other people’s emotions and how they should respond. . For example, some children will say: "I'm so angry at the teacher!" Parents should not accuse the child too much, but should guide the child and ask him what the fart represents. If the child says it means smelly, which is not good, you can correct him and say, "Give it to the child." The teacher was furious."

4. Use non-verbal means to understand the "implication"

This may be difficult for children, but it can still be overcome through observation and practice. It is also a high-level *** emotion. Skills that babies should have. A child breaks his leg while running, and another child asks him, "Does it hurt?" He may grit his teeth and answer, "No." A smart baby can see the mystery from the tears that hurt the corner of the child's eyes and the trembling legs, and feel that "he actually hurts", and then make a hug. This is the ability to have affection.

In addition to non-verbal methods, there are two types. One is the body language mentioned above, which can help children judge the situation of the other party. If you encounter something that the other person is unwilling to talk about, your child may also want to use body language to express sympathy or support. The other is common sense judgment, so I won’t go into details here.